Phantzi Little Yarns

Mom!

2012-01-27T06:31:00.002-05:00

My aunt just reminded me that my mom has been here five days already, and I haven't written a word about it yet! [Hi Cathie!] ;) It's nice to know I have dedicated readers who will give me a poke when needed :-)

So yes, Mom is here - she had no trouble on the [albeit long] journey and came laden with goodies and treats from Peru. It was a late-night arrival and I made the trek out to the airport by myself - a rare thing, for me to be out at all after 8 p.m. But it was worth it to see her come through the gates and give her a big, long hug. No matter how old you are, there's nothing like a hug from your mother.

I think Valerie and Gabriel recognized her voice more than they did her face. There is no substitute for warm, in-person vocals. Valerie has already christened her "Rabbit." A wooden puzzle in the shape of a rooster she brought was the unexpected big-hit gift, and Valerie has been taking it to bed with her every night (except last night when it was replaced by a lift-a-flap Winnie the Pooh book that came in the mail from friends in the US). I've kept more or less a normal work schedule this week, although Terry and I had a date night Weds. evening, which was a fun mid-week event. So Mom's had lots of time to make towers out of blocks and Shpresa has also been taking her (and the kids) out for walks to see different points of interest in the city center.

I'm glad it has not been as cold this week since all our wall-unit heaters have conked out and we only have 2 portable space heaters that we take from room to room. Shpresa improvised a hot-water bottle from an empty plastic detergent bottle that has been helpful for Mom since the room she is in is the coldest in the apartment.

I'll have her write a guest post soon once she's had a chance to form more of an impression of the city.

Happy Birthday Rosanne!

2012-01-22T07:02:00.000-05:00

Super-Tia! Miss you!

Bundled

2012-01-19T04:34:00.002-05:00

It has been COLD here. Power has been unreliable, and since we use electric heat, it's been a little worrisome. So far we haven't lost power for more than 10 minutes or so in the evenings during heaviest use time, but friends a few blocks away were out for like 10 HOURS, and they have a little baby. Even though it's been sunny, I haven't been taking the kids out much. I bought them some play-dough and that's been a huge hit. We make little snowmen and Gabriel grabs the balls and throws them across the room shouting "Gooool!"

Ouch

2012-01-16T07:09:00.003-05:00

The bad news is that G has been sick with stomatitis - Valerie had it at about the same age, which helped me recognize what it was even after the doctor told us it was probably a respiratory infection (at that point he had a fever but the cold sores hadn't really fully developed on his tongue yet). It's kind of interesting to compare, actually - I don't recall that she ever had much of a fever, although her outbreaks looked much, much worse (bleeding gums, ugh), and she also didn't seem to be in as much pain - she ate a lot better than he has been.

Monday morning Terry woke me up saying G felt kind of hot and might have a fever. He was burning up. By the late afternoon the fever went up to 102, and Tuesday evening went up to 103. It would go down in the day but then up in the early evening. And he was miiiiiiiiserable. All day Tuesday, all he wanted to do was lie in my arms and nurse. He didn't want to eat anything, and on Wednesday I realized that he was having difficulty swallowing. The front of his clothes were drenched in drool (so at first we thought it was teething pain). He wanted food, he would point to it and go "eh eh" in this pitiful voice but one bite, and then he'd spit it out crying in pain.

Sooooo heartbreaking.

Thursday I took him to the clinic and they said the back of his throat looked red. I'd noticed his gums were getting red, too, but the doctor didn't think much of that. She said it wasn't strep, but to watch for blisters on his hands and feet. Otherwise she was pretty sure it would turn out to be a respiratory tract thing.

But Shpresa and I both noticed little sores on his tongue later that day, and when I got a good look at them I recognized stomatitis.

Since he couldn't eat food, we've been giving him herbal tea with honey in it, and what clear broths he could manage. Plus breastfeeding of course, his preferred food. He could sometimes take a few spoonfuls of very milky oatmeal. But he hasn't pooped since Friday.

The good news is that he seems to be on the upswing now. He ate a good deal of actual noodle soup yesterday, and this morning woke up a little more bright eyed and bushy tailed (in the immortal words of my father) :-) with actual smiles, and the fun-loving look in his eyes was back. He hasn't had a fever since what, Friday? I think? He's drooling less and I can hear him swallowing his saliva from time to time.

The other good news is that since it's a virus that Valerie has already had, I don't have to worry about him giving it to her. In fact she very well might have given it to him!

I'm worn out, though. His sleep at night has been terrible due to the pain in his mouth. Think about how much a cold sore hurts and then imagine having them all over your gums and three on your tongue. Terry's been away on a work trip for two nights. I think we coped really well the past two days all things considered, but I'm ready for a nap!!!

2012-01-15T06:48:00.001-05:00

sorry out of office, g sick - updates soon.

I'm back!

2012-01-05T05:18:00.004-05:00

Happy New Year, everybody! Here is a lazy picture post to get you started. One of my goals for 2012 is 150 blog posts. I posted 171 times in 2011, so my secret personal goal is actually 175 posts (lucky you!) but my realistic goal is 15o. So you can look forward to lots more pictures of these two little ones in 2012.

Little hug

Stop the presses!!!!

V. wearing a dress!!!!!!

Those red shoes used to be hers, but they work on him too.

By the artificial lake

My little hobbit

2011: Year in Review

2011-12-31T08:28:00.001-05:00

I tried to find photos that I haven't posted here before - click on the name of the month to read through my blog archives!

January:February:

March:April:
May:
June:
July:
August:September:
October:
November:
December:

My Kids Are So Cute

2011-12-29T05:29:00.004-05:00

I'm enjoying a day at home alone today - an introvert's bliss! Here are some cute pictures for your enjoyment. Now I'm off to watch a DVD and knit. Thanks to Owl, Rabbit, and the other Owl for taking Pooh and Piglet out on a grand little excursion sans Eeyore!

Is this not the cutest little boy you have ever laid eyes on? You know he is.

Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T08:12:00.002-05:00

Gabriel says "no" - and other things!

2011-12-22T11:10:00.000-05:00

Gabriel has been adding some new words to his repertoire - "Nana" (banana), "Nena" (Grandma), "Up," "Gja" (Giraffe), and, most charmingly, "Noooooo." Don't believe me? Behold:

There are more - all the time. I'm still trying to catch him running around trying to jump, with his hands over his head, kicking a ball and shouting "Gooo! Gooo!" [Gol] My little dude is getting SO BIG!!!

"Wooshawoo!"

2011-12-22T11:09:00.002-05:00

Interim

2011-12-22T10:35:00.004-05:00

I've been trying to upload some videos of the kids and it takes so long it never finished uploading.

Meanwhile, life continues apace; Terry was home for 24 hours and then went to Cyprus; it's been raining and cold; the kids have been exceptionally cranky and clingy although today was a better day (especially for V).

Terry gets back in just a few hours and we're so excited!

I'll try to get the videos up soon.

Snapshots of a Phantzi life

2011-12-15T12:36:00.006-05:00

1. This is the view from our balcony looking south. I think we are in for an obnoxiously noisy couple months ahead of us...

Seriously. Noise reverberates like crazy through this building. Apparently the recent change in government means a lot of people are suddenly flush with cash and are looking for ways to invest it.

Sigh.

2. Multi-generational households contribute positively to the socialization of young children: all eating breakfast together at the table! Unheard of in the Phantzi household.

3. Cardboard tube from a package of saran wrap plus rope and two kitchen chairs = a fun swing for a little plastic toy (see yellow spot near V's elbow):

4. Gabe is experimenting early with body art:

5. They've finished renovating Skenderbeg Square, finally - just in time for Christmas! Also: the rains have come at last!

Addendum

2011-12-14T05:07:00.001-05:00

From Terry:

"I found out that evidently Armenians don't like to be called Orthodox. Georgians are Orthodox, Russians are Orthodox, Greeks are Orthodox, but Armenians are in the Armenian Apostolic Church - NOT Orthodox. I made a comment that the church feels like an Orthodox church and my host sort of shuffled and mumbled that yes, the Armenian church has a lot of overlap with the Orthodox church but there are a lot of differences too. So I asked for an example of a difference and she said, "the Orthodox church believes that Jesus was God and Man, but the Armenian Church believes that Jesus was God and Man"... What?

"So what the implications seems to be that the difference between Orthodox and the Armenian Church is an italicized emphasis on the word 'and'...maybe after 1700 years of debate, this type of thing is important …

"I'm sorry to be leaving the ADP [direct implementation site outside the capital] today … The area is gorgeous plus the people are nice and there is tons of history here - like 8000+ years worth of history. The two positives for going back to Yerevan will be a warm hotel room (they don't heat the hotel rooms in the ADP for some reason - much to the annoyance of the WV employees from Yerevan who come here) and internet access in the room.

"I gotta admit though that this last day here does feel like a slog - I'm sort of guessing we aren't going to hear anything new :)"

Three more days until Owl comes home!

Postcards from Armenia

2011-12-12T07:26:00.003-05:00

So five days after Terry left for Armenia, his parents arrived and we are having a grand time Chez Pooh. I plan to head home shortly for a nap but meanwhile I've culled some gems from Terry's e-mails, should you care to get a feel for his time in Armenia. He gets back Saturday, then turns around to leave Sunday again for 5 days in Cyprus. Then Vacation! Yay!

***

Things that are cool about Armenia:

1) Mt. Ararat (found the ark, btw).

2) Armenia was actually part of the Soviet Union

3) The Armenian Alphabet

#2 sounds odd because of course it was - but I didn't actually make that connection before. So this is the first country I've been to which was actually inside the old Evil Empire as opposed to just a satellite state like Montenegro, Kosovo, Albania, Macedonia or Mongolia. Also the fact that everything is connected to Moscow is kind of cool. Makes me want to go there (Moscow).

#3 is for the linguists among us -but I found out last night during a long (very long) dinner that Armenia is the center of the Universe. But also that the Armenian Orthodox church was established in the 300s and shortly thereafter the alphabet was developed here. It seems to have been made up by the Church fathers and isn't connected to Latin, Arabic or Cyrillic scripts. It looks totally different from any of them.

The fact that Armenians developed their own alphabet system and didn't draw on any of the three major standard international scripts should give you an insight into all you need to know about Armenia culture. I would say it's like Albania but it's not - Albanians have borrowed heavily and freely from everyone around them except for the Hoxha era. Armenia is the exact opposite on that - they didn't borrow from anyone and preferred to reinvent the wheel than borrow a neighbor’s.

I also found out that Armenians invented wine. They introduced beer to Europeans thousands of years ago, plus they taught the Greeks how to make those little grape leaf rolls that are supposedly a Greek traditional food.... I'm sort of guessing that some of these pieces of information may need to be triangulated for confirmation.... but the very fact that I was told these things should tell you something about Armenians at any rate...

In general, Armenia reminds me a bit more Soviet and a bit more down at the heels than Albania - although similar in many ways too. I do like the fact that there aren't very many vehicles (in comparison) and no new vehicles. Lots of old beat up Ladas from Russia but no Hummers (at least in the circles that I am moving).

The weather is cold, but not so cold as Mongolia. However, there's no heat inside the hotel either - so win some lose some.

Armenia is starting to grow on me a bit. Amazing scenery in the area I am in now - reminds me a lot of Lesotho - big grassy mountains and snow. Of course, Yerevan is kind of a pit… The only thing I like about Yerevan more than Tirana is that there are far fewer cars here and much less ostentation - there's a lot of corruption, but it looks like they keep the earnings offshore. But other than the cars (oh, and the insane construction - Yerevan doesn't have that either) but aside from those two things - Tirana is nicer I think. However, I really like the Armenian countryside.

Not much to say, went out this morning to small beautiful village in the mountains, breathtaking scenery, blah blah. Did an interview with the local mayor. Very pleased with WV - blah blah blah. Child well-being blah blah blah.

Some more things to like about Armenia:

1) Armenia has Cilantro! The most common food I've eaten here: Take a tortilla-like piece of dough, put a slice of cheese on it accompanied by a handful of Cilantro. Roll up - eat - rinse- repeat. It's amazing.

2) Red beet salad. They have this red beet salad that combines red beets, walnuts, pomegranate seeds and cilantro. I've eaten about 3x the amount of the average Armenian just because it's so great.

3) The Armenian Orthodox church. I don't know how to describe it, but it's one thread of history that Albania doesn't have in full force.

4) A really really long history. While it's kind of annoying to be in the center of the cultural universe, it is true that Armenia is part of the "out of Africa" migrations of humanity which spread up through the Middle East and then up through the passage way between the Black sea and the Caspian Sea (the Caucauses) - so there's a lot more history here then in many places outside of Africa simply because people were here for much much longer.

5) There's an Armenian version of Stonehenge (just about 10 minute drive from the ADP offices) plus there is a 1200 year old Monastery within an hour's drive - one of the oldest in the world.

6) The Soviet thing is really really cool.

Long day - but interesting. Google "Tatev Monastery" and "Armenian Stonehenge" to check out two places I was at today. We interviewed the Abbot of the monastery as part of the evaluation. It was interesting. I think you'd like Armenia - it's gloomy.

So evidently the Armenian Orthodox church is the oldest national church in the world - predating Constatine by a decade. The Orthodox are kind of like Catholics from an alternative universe. The Armenian Orthodox church is about 1700 years old. So picture a Jantzi and a Phelps having 1700 years to decorate a cathedral in the best way they know how. The Jantzi would be all like "hey, let's put even MORE curly-cue gold fillagree everywhere - shiny stuff" and the Phelps would say "Let's make it big and dark and gloomy so people feel their insignificance in the universe" - combine the two and viola – Armenian Orthodox Church.

The Armenian priests are interesting - they can marry - but they dress funny. They reminded me either of the Deep Down Dwarfs from Pratchett - or Darth Vader...or maybe those desert sand people from Star Wars. Either way I sort of half expected either light sabers or chainmail throughout the evening.

We got there about the time evening prayers were about to start - so we stayed through that service (about 30 minutes) and then had tea with one of the head priests who is connected to some of WV's projects.

It was an amiable chat - but I kept thinking how odd my life is. If you could put little picture slice montages of my life and show it to me as a youngster, I think I would be puzzled ... Candle-lit drum music in African huts, motorcycles in Bolivian jungle, meat feasts in Mongolia, chatting with Darth Vader bearded priests over tea in Armenia...etc. I bet I could put together a really pretentious blog!

from last week

2011-12-08T01:15:00.002-05:00

Here is a video I took near the old Tirana castle on Flag Day last week; some traditional Albanian dancing. It was very cool.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-12-07T00:47:00.002-05:00

Tuesday

2011-12-06T07:39:00.006-05:00

It's raining, so we were somewhat housebound today (actually very glad for the rain as it's been terribly dry this year). Terry is gone to Armenia for 2 weeks, and my in-laws arrive Friday. Shpresa has gone to see her mother for a few days. So we're just doing our usual thing. Here are a few pictures to while away the time.

A word of explanation in this one: the baby doll has been put to bed under her blankie. The frisbee is her hat to keep her head warm, and the carrot peeler is an iPod. I can't remember what the other item is supposed to be! Whatever it represents, it bears absolutely no resemblance to that thing, I do remember that much. *Just remembered: it's supposed to be a head-lamp :-)

Gabriel loves music.

We put up our Christmas tree today but I don't have pictures of it yet. I'm off to take a quick nap while I still can before the kids wake up.

photo post

2011-12-01T06:17:00.008-05:00

I finally got around to downloading pictures from my camera, and here is a somewhat random selection - mostly the kids and some of our artistic endeavors.

Does she look like an intellectual yet? Maybe not the Dora T-shirt...

Valerie provided the art direction on these little cards I made. The green rectangle in the owls wing is his iPod. Of course.

This, in case you couldn't tell, is a monkey. Riding a horse. Here's the key, from top to bottom and left to right: 5= butterfly resting on the monkey's hat, which is the A. H= monkey's head, B= monkey's tummy. L and 7 (both sideways) = monkey's arms. He is holding a fish and a balloon (the Q). M and M = monkey's legs, with little toesy-toes. R = grass, U= horse's head, 1 (sideways) = horse's body, and Y Y (upside down) = horse's legs. Can you see it now? Try squinting. Or maybe just close your eyes and picture a monkey riding a horse that's eating grass. There, that's better!

Moments of lovely sibling harmony

I actually finished a pair of socks!

The first day I got out these paints, Valerie sat and painted for 3.5 hours straight. Right now she's into drawing with markers - she drew her first face! She's been drawing families of faces with arms and legs and wild sunburst hair. The best part is the little grin and chuckle she makes every time she puts a smiling mouth on one of her faces.

Of course, everything big sis does G has to do too. He usually gets bored after five minutes though. (By the way, his shirt says "Little Rascal" - very apropos!)

Year

2011-11-30T06:02:00.000-05:00

Things I haven’t done in more than a year, that used to be very frequent components of my life:

· Driven a car
· Seen my mom and dad
· Had a full night’s sleep
· Seen a movie in a theater
· Drunk soy milk
· Eaten sushi
· Gone to a library
· Taught a class
· Graded a paper
· Written a paper
· Stepped foot on an airplane
· Used a clothes dryer
· Knitted a baby sweater or hat (although I have knit three and a half socks)
· Gone ice-skating (ok, I’ve never actally gone ice skating. Ever)

Independence

2011-11-28T14:18:00.006-05:00

(Check out our family photo from last year, same place!)

Today Albania celebrated Independence from the Ottoman Empire. It's a complicated and fascinating history that I'll try to summarize for you some other time when I'm not about to fall asleep sitting, that includes such gems as Ismail Qemali coming from Italy on a ferry, landing in Vlora with a customs form that stated the purpose of his visit as "To liberate Albania."

We also took advantage of the holiday to celebrate Thanksgiving a second time - wait, did I not tell you about the first time? Oh my. I have a lot of catching up to do.

Anyway, here are some photos I took around town today.

These guys are dressed up like the Albanian founding fathers or something.

(um... I think I have some research to do...)

Privilege

2011-11-25T09:18:00.000-05:00

{This photo is from about a year ago}

Recently we went to Orange Couch Park for juice and popcorn, and Gabriel entertained himself by running back and forth across the bridge that joins the café and the park proper. As I ran after him, I remembered a little girl I saw there months ago – probably around the age then that Gabriel is now.

She was probably just about a year old; her contented delight with her own ability to walk was evident in her pleased little smile and continual motion. She had discovered the footbridge that arcs between the cafes at Compleksi Taiwan and the green spaces of Parku Rinia, and was toddling happily back and forth.

A little boy, apparently her big brother, came running to her with a soccer ball tucked under his arm and an angry expression on his face. He shouted at her and pulled at her arm, trying to get her to go back with him into the park, but she shook him off and just kept walking. Pretty soon the little boy retreated down the steps at the park end of the bridge and stood behind a holly bush crying loudly in frustration. He was so tiny himself, probably little more than three years old himself. Maybe a very small four.

I watched then as one of the waiters from the restaurant next to the bridge came striding over purposefully. He spoke sharply to the little girl, lifted her up with a hand under each armpit, and placed her next to her brother who again grabbed her arm. She, of course, headed straight back towards the bridge, where the waiter who had removed her stood with arms folded staring down at her.

Then I saw a young Roma woman (I’m guessing the mother) come running across the grass. She lifted the girl in one arm, grabbed the boy’s hand with her other one, and hurried them back to the rest of the family.

The children were so adorable, yet so small and ragamuffin; the boy’s anguish and girl’s delight so apparent; the man’s authority so absolute; I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry as the scene unfolded, but I felt like doing both. While my own children, healthy and well-dressed, were permitted access to the whole complex, these two little ones were removed.

and yet more little bits

2011-11-25T05:21:00.005-05:00

The other day I told Valerie she was being selfish. Her response: "NOT A FISH! PANTHER!!!"

Sometimes V will look at the cover of a book she wants to read, press it with a finger and shout "click on it!" and then open it up to read it (well, technically she's not reading, but you know what I mean). Compare this too the fact that in college I was still writing term papers out by hand before typing them up onto an Apple 2g (I think that's what it was, anyway). (Credit to Aaron K for jogging this memory!)

V has three mosquito bites, one on her foot and two on her hand. This is how my kids react to mosquito bites:

(This is an old picture, for illustration purposes)

Where the heck are these mosquitos coming from??? It's almost winter!!! Anyway, she was rubbing at the bites and saying "Mama take it off!" Poor little boo.

This morning we were in the kitchen and Gabriel walked out of our room with a bundle of dirty clothes in his arms, his head thrown back to see around them. He took them all the way to the laundry room down the hall and started stuffing them into the washing machine! Then he attempted to turn the dials and bang on the door (front-loader) to make it start, like I do. Too cute for words.

Thankful

2011-11-24T05:46:00.001-05:00

I am thankful for so many things this year.

1.- Gabriel is so healthy. He rarely gets sick, and then recovers quickly. Sometimes the rest of us will get something and it will miss him. It’s a real blessing.

2.- Valerie using the potty!!! I can’t emphasize enough how thankful I am for this – for her sudden willingness and interest, for how quickly she took to doing #2 only in the potty (I think only 2 true accidents, and only a couple times in a pull-up), for her slowly increasing independence – just enough so I don’t lose hope. There was a time when I literally could not picture her willingly using the potty on her own.

3.- Terry taking on night duty with the kids. I feel all kinds of guilty and grateful at the same time, that I can go off the clock from 8:30 until 5:00 a.m. It is such a relief.

4.- Shpresa’s help and friendship. She’s my right arm. Being able to trust her with the kids and rely on her help with household tasks makes it possible for me to do my dissertation work and feel at peace when I come home to clean floors, happy kids, and often dinner bubbling on the stove.

5.- Life in Albania. I can understand why some have called this the “armpit of Europe,” but they’re really just snobs. I enjoy living here and learning the language, culture, and history. Somehow I feel most like myself when I'm living as an expat.

6.- Awesome, loving family who are willing to make the long trek here to see us.

funny little things

2011-11-23T05:30:00.003-05:00

This morning Valerie was sniffling; Gabriel noticed, walked to the coffee table and picked up a tissue, then proceeded to attempt to wipe her nose. She did not appreciate his help (but I thought it was very sweet!)

Gabriel is starting to say actual words beyond "Mama" - this week he started saying "apf" for apple! And he finally started calling Terry Dada after calling him Mama for weeks (for the record, Valerie often calls me "the other Dada").

Valerie is really into Winnie the Pooh these days. Currently I'm Eeyore, Terry is Owl, Gabriel is Christopher Robin (or sometimes Roo), and she's Pooh. Shpresa is Kanga and Shpresa's son Samueli is Tigger. The room at the end of the hall where Terry gets his extra shut-eye in the mornings from 5-8 is Owl's Nest, and the middle bedroom where Gabriel now sleeps is Piglet's House. (Valerie has been sleeping in the extra bed in our room - it's a long story.)

Valerie saw an animated video clip of will-o-the-whisps and christened them "dancing lights." One day she was playing with plastic animals in a bowl of water, and I found her wiping drops of water off the bowl with her index finger and then tasting the water. She said with delight, "Panther's eating dancing lights!" (That was back when she was still Panther, not Pooh.) Now any time she sees drops of water she calls them dancing lights - even the occasional spray when using the toilet: "Mama wipe off the dancing lights!"

We're having Thanksgiving dinner with American and Albanian friends from church tomorrow night. I'm taking pumpkin muffins and rotisserie chicken. I was thinking of making chicken dumplings but I'm not sure about transporting hot liquid food to their house - might get messy.

Valerie's using more and more Shqip, like "ke ftoht" (you are cold).

I bought some finger paints for Valerie and the first afternoon she painted steadily for three and a half hours! She prefers to use a brush since she doesn't like getting her hands dirty. She loves mixing the goopy paints together, "racing" the brushes around in circles, hiding colors under other colors, dripping long thick strings of paint in swirls across other colors. She's practicing her letters with me some too. It takes focused concentration for me to supervise her, but it's fun to see her so into it.

More and more, Gabriel wants to do everything he sees Valerie doing. It's in turns funny, adorable, and heart-stoppingly scary, like when he tries to climb the furniture. These kids, they just keep GROWING!

Little bits

2011-11-18T07:11:00.004-05:00

Christmas is coming! For some reason, whenever Gabriel sees this billboard, he mimes playing the piano and says "la la la." I have no idea why. The family in the apartment above us has a piano and we often hear the kids practicing, but he's never actually seen them. We showed him pictures of pianos and tried to make the connection but I'm not sure what he's actually imagining when he hears the music and imitates our miming.

I trimmed about an inch off the back of Valerie's hair, and it looks much better - cleaner and healthier. I'd never, ever cut that part before and it was all uneven. I like the change. She was good about letting me do it, too.

Thanksgiving is coming! This is the closest we got to a Halloween costume. Then I sat on the "hat" and it broke. I've been enjoying cooking pumpkins and squash while they last though. Amazingly, we can get cranberries here so I'm hoping to do a Thanksgiving meal with some American friends next week.

A couple days ago Valerie has a very first-Thanksgiving-ish lunch - popcorn, roasted chestnuts, and an apple. She's become a very picky eater this year, but I think it's just a stage, since she was not picky at all until recently. I try to feed her a wide variety of fruits and nuts since she refuses most vegetables now (even tomatoes, which she used to love). Apples, tangerines, figs, plums, grapes, dried blueberries, dried cranberries... hopefully she's still getting some vitamins. If I mix real vegetable broth in with her alphabet soup, she'll eat that (but not if she can visually identify an actual vegetable) and she also likes beans still (but not rice). She drinks like 4-5 or more glasses of milk every day.

Gabriel has been having terrible teething pain. All four eye teeth are coming in at the same time and taking a long time about it as well. He seems to take teething pain much harder than Valerie did. Poor little guy.

Today I ordered what I thought was a hot chocolate at the cafe where I'm working, and I got a cup of steaming hot chocolate pudding! With two sugar packets (which I did not use). I'm trying to cut back on coffee, though I don't suppose this was the most frugal substitute.

It's getting cold here.

Food for thought

2011-11-09T10:00:00.008-05:00

I’m not really into cooking. I’m not a bad cook; I don’t hate it; it just usually feels like cooking requires more planning, attention, and focus than I have at my disposal (or want to give to it) at the moment. But all of a sudden here, I’m cooking nearly every day. What happened?

Gabriel turned one, first of all. I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that for the first few months of his life, cooking a meal felt like a task of monumental proportions. Hence, lots of Red Front BBQ chicken before we moved, and lots of pizza after. Earlier this year I looked up instructions for how to make a grilled cheese sandwich, making them for the first time in my life. I tried making pancakes from memory (a miserable failure) – keeping track of more than two or three ingredients seemed like an insurmountable undertaking. However, for Gabriel’s birthday, I really really really wanted to make a carrot cake. The only cake pan we have is for making baklava, but we do have a muffin tin, so I decided to make carrot cake muffins.

They came out awesome.

It felt like a huge, time-consuming project that day, but at the same time I also found myself thinking, “this isn’t, actually, impossible.”

So I started making cornmeal muffins with Valerie on a regular basis. And then I found a recipe for grilled eggplant in a Reader’s Digest, and as I read through it I thought, “I have all the ingredients right here” – all I had to buy were eggplants (of course) and parsley, which were in season and available practically at my front door.

So I tried the recipe, and it was really good! Not only that but it looked and tasted gourmet. And I could make it while the kids played in the living room behind me.

That alone has been a huge factor – that the kids can play behind me in the living room while I chop and stir, and I don’t have to try to do everything with Gabriel in the sling and Valerie wanting constant attention.

Then when my in-laws came to visit in September, I had added incentive to plan and cook interesting meals. One thing they brought for me, at my request, was a copy of Simply In Season, a great produce-based cookbook that emphasizes eating locally-produced fresh fruits and vegetables, which, as I’ve mentioned we have in great bounty and conveniently located here.

One of my favorite recipes from that book is Groundnut Stew, which I’ve adapted made a couple times now with pumpkin. I’ve also made pumpkin muffins, pumpkin pancakes, and some different kinds of stew. Last week I made purple cabbage stir-fry. I did buy some imported black beans (which we all seem to prefer to the pinto and white beans that are more common here) and garnished them with cilantro I grew from seeds my sister bought – but at least I did throw in local onions, garlic, carrots, and red peppers.

Anyway, it feels like the same impulse to share pictures of my knitting online (hey, everybody, look what I made!) impels me now to share pictures of food online – not as cute as my kids (again, hey! Look what I made!) but fun anyway.

Gabe

2011-11-07T06:00:00.000-05:00

Gabriel is so smart. I know every parent thinks this about their child, but Shpresa agrees with me – she says he is “zgjuar,” which literally means “awake” (we would say the same thing in Andean Spanish – despierto), but implies alert intelligence as well.

He’s making sentences with his signs – where is the horse? (hands out with palms up, clicking noise with the tongue); the chicken is asleep (hand by cheek, clucking “ka ka ka”); she bit me (see previous post). Albanians are amazed when we play “si a bënë…” , asking him how does the [fill in animal] go in Shqip, and he makes the appropriate noise or hand motion. He seems to understand English and Albanian equally well; I’m not sure about the Spanish as he only hears it from me rather than conversations between multiple people, and not as often.

He can unscrew the lid off a plastic jar.

And he’s such a rascal! When I say “Gabriel, NO,” he just laughs and runs to do it again. He deliberately provokes me, doing things like shaking water out of his sippy cup while looking at me with a delighted grin and waiting for my reaction.

He tries to sweep with a broom, and can help me wipe up spills from the floor. He hands me clothespins when I’m hanging up the laundry. He will get a wet wipe from the package and wipe himself (not very accurately, though) while I’m changing his diaper. If he sees trash on the floor, he will pick it up, carry it to the kitchen, open the cabinet under the sink, and throw it in the trash can, unprompted. He wants to use the sponge when he "helps" me wash the dishes. He can sometimes feed himself with a fork, with a little help. He also likes to throw food on the floor, though.

(I think our fish are smarter than I previously realized, as well – they know when I turn the lights on in the morning that they’re going to be fed, and they follow me around, watching me through the jar, until I actually do feed them! Also, they’re terrified of an octopus toy I put in their jar once. If it’s even on the table next to their jar, they swim in circles as fast as they can, bonking their noses on the glass until I move it. Poor fishies. I just thought it would be cute. They don’t mind the starfish, but the octopus shape? Pure terror.)

I can’t believe Valerie is already three and a HALF this month, and Gabriel is sixteen months! Where does the time go?

Truth & Reconciliation

2011-11-06T10:07:00.004-05:00

It’s healed now, but last week Valerie bit Gabriel so hard he had a ring-shaped bruise on his arm with two little red scabs from her canines.

They had been playing happily together in his room, with V in the crib and G next to it, throwing a stuffed animal to each other, so I went to the other room to get something (probably more coffee). Shortly after that I heard escalating shouting and shrieking, so I hurried back. I rounded the corner into the room and saw Gabriel red-faced next to the suitcase we use as a toy box, tears streaming down his face – the kind of crying little kids do when their whole body is completely given over to the expression of hurt.

“WHAT HAPPENED?” I asked Valerie as I swooped him up.

“Panther bit Gabriel!”

In case I hadn’t understood, Gabriel flung out his arm, pointing an accusing finger at his sister, then mimed biting his hands, still sobbing all the while.

“NO, Panther! Do NOT bite Gabriel!” She burst into tears and ran to me; I may have hesitated a second, but then I pulled her onto my lap next to him, mostly because she seemed so remorseful. I tried to look for bite marks on his hands while I began to nurse him.

I’m going to break from the story here to comment that it’s often hard for me to know, in those moments, what to prioritize – comforting the injured child, or disciplining the transgressor? I know that discipline is most effective when immediate, but it seems particularly cruel to make the injured child wait for comfort while the other one is being put in time-out or whatever. I can’t figure out how to do both at once, because I feel like I need to give each task my whole attention. In this situation, I felt like my verbal correction had been strong enough (based on how she reacted to it) that I didn’t need to do anything else, so my next move was to try to engineer reconciliation.

“Why? Why did you bite him? That was very bad, Panther.”

“Don’t want it open! Want it CLOSED!” [indicating the toy box/suitcase]

“Well, he’s too little to understand, honey. You have to be patient with him. And NOT BITE.” I still hadn’t found any bite marks, by the way. “Where did you bite him?”

“On his elbow.”

Sure enough, his sleeve was wet, and I gasped as I pulled it up, to see the deep dents in his chubby little arm, and the two scratches where she’d actually broken the skin. She’d moved off my lap and onto a pillow on the floor, but I held up his arm to show her.

“Panther, you need to tell Gabriel you’re sorry.”

“I sowwy!”

I have to admit I was kind of stunned – I believe this is the first time, EVER, she has actually said she was sorry – and she genuinely seemed to mean it. I read somewhere that it’s better to ask a child to make reparations than to just teach them that simply saying “sorry” makes everything all better; kids are canny, and they sometimes take this to mean that they can get away with anything as long as they plan to say “sorry” afterward. So then I said, “Can you come give him a little kiss?” And she did; she who is beyond shy about overtly demonstrating affection, came and kissed her brother's hands, his soft head.

(edited to add): I also asked her a little while later, while I was still nursing him - "How do you feel about biting Gabriel?" And she said "Very sad," which was sweet.

So that was our family Truth and Reconciliation Commission. Victim and aggressor each had their moment to tell their story, there was confession, there was forgiveness. Ubuntu begins at home.

Rite of Passage

2011-11-04T00:56:00.002-04:00

Congratulations to my Mom, US Citizen!

(photo courtesy of Cathie Phelps)

Just Cute

2011-11-01T09:03:00.000-04:00

Too sleepy to write anything substantive. Enjoy!

Happy Birthday P!

2011-10-29T15:15:00.002-04:00

Happy Birthday to my beautiful, smart, creative, eternally youthful sister!

I love you!

SAHMing

2011-10-29T01:59:00.004-04:00

She likes to pretend she is skiing or snowboarding on this green thing.

I'm not sure what she was doing here - slalom?

Wow, I didn't mean to let like ten whole days elapse between posts, but Shpresa has been away at a conference all week and my computer time completely evaporated. What little I've been able to carve out has been used for e-mails, mostly... I can keep up on Facebook using the iTouch, but it's hard to actually write anything on the tiny little touch pad. Right now I'm in a strange little bubble that never happens, wherein Gabriel went down for his morning nap before Valerie woke up for the day - I don't know how long it will last but I'll just stop where I am and hit "publish post" when she does wake up. Although I hear Gabriel still babbling in his crib so I don't know, he might need me again in a minute. He was just soooo sleepy!

It's been a good week - so many little stories I'm saving up to tell you - here's the best one, probably: one day we were hanging out by a park bench waiting for a friend to meet up for a morning walk, and I'd put Gabriel down from the Ergo so he could run around a bit. I noticed he had something in his hand, and I went to see what it was - a stick? Nooooooo - a dried up dog turd!!!!! So gross! His hands got a good sanitizing after that I tell you. The same day we were hanging out on the balcony in the afternoon and I noticed him looking contemplative, moving his mouth like he was eating something. I pried open his jaw and fished out a little green beetle! It was about the size of a black-eyed pea, pretty shiny green. I looked at it closely and the legs were still moving! We liberated onto the neighbor's balcony below, I hope it isn't a house-plant pest since she has a lot of potted plants.

That's my boy: playing with dog turds and eating bugs.

My mom passed the citizenship test and will be sworn in as a US citizen next week!

Oops - G calls. Ta...

Take the Yellow Train to Obama Nation

2011-10-20T04:45:00.002-04:00

"Let's go to Obama nation!" says Valerie, running down the hall to Gabriel's room.

And yes, there's a back story.

Some time ago someone stole our three-year-old and replaced her with a 1984-style censor. Here are some of the words I'm not supposed to say, according to our resident representative of the Thought Police:

- happy ("Not happy, just HAP.")

- with

- Mama ("Not Mama, just Mimi!")

- Gabriel ("Not Gabriel, just GABE.")

- Valerie or Val-Val (Panther)

- Panther (Panthie)

- Panthie (Panth)

A lot of them are truncations of the full word. Like "milk" become "muh." Sometimes she doesn't like me to use Albanian words but will allow a Spanish substitution. (Although she does code-switch a lot - today she said "Panther put underwear on koka!" [head]).

I was starting to get really annoyed with these apparently random prohibitions (I mean come on, how am I supposed to get through the day without once using the word "with"???), but Terry of course made a game of it: "Is it an Abomination* to say 'with'?" he would ask. "Yes!" she would reply. The joke, of course, is that in stating the "Abomination" we state the forbidden word as well.

One day for some reason she said "let's go to Abomination!" And I said "How about Obama nation?" And she said "OK!" Obama Nation turned out to be Gabriels' room (which is also sometimes referred to as "the hotel."

Oh, and she has also re-named our apartment as "Yellow Train." We're not allowed to say "home" just "Yellow Train." So for example, when we play This Little Piggy we have to say "...and this little piggy went wee wee wee, all the way to the Yellow Train!" I know, it doesn't scan or rhyme - but we go with it. And it's not completely random, either - the etymology of Yellow Train comes from one of her Sandra Boynton books - there's a picture of a family of hippos in a car ("five works well for a ride in a car, as long as the car ride isn't too far") and the interior of the car is yellow. She got it in her head that they were in a train - a yellow train - and for a while every taxi we rode in was a yellow train. Then our home turned into a yellow train as well and thus it has remained. And her stroller is either a car or an airplane.

She also had me go through her entire huge Richard Scarry book, and cover up all the piggy feet and bunny feet with post-it notes (when I refused to actually cut them out). Also some mouse feet, also piggy dolls. She wanted me to cut off the nose of her beanie baby cat, but agreed to a compromise of covering it up with purple thread (got to practice my darning skillz!). She doesn't like pictures of monkeys either.

Most of her prohibitions seem completely random to me (with? WITH?). Some I can relate to something that scared or annoyed her. Some of them I choose to ignore (I'm not going to cut pictures of monkeys out of her storybooks or off Gabriel's shirt). I usually figure it's just a way for her to try to be in control of something, but Terry's joking that we need to set up a therapy fund for treating her OCD someday.

*Pratchett fans will recognize this reference.

Holiday

2011-10-19T14:34:00.004-04:00

Today was Mother Teresa day in Albania; although she was born and raised in Macedonian, she was ethnically Albanian and so Albanians feel like she belongs to "us." It was a national holiday and Terry didn't have to go to work! I kept feeling like it must be Saturday and thinking tomorrow is Sunday rather than Thursday.

It was a gorgeous, cold, crisp day.

The kids have been doing all kinds of hilarious cute things but they're such little things, it's hard to remember when I sit down to write exactly what they were. After watching Terry cut his hair with the electric clippers, Gabriel grabbed a tube of chapstick and pushed it across his head going "bzzzzzz." He has also begun sitting on Valerie's potty, then taking it and pretend-dumping the pretend-pee into the toilet. I also found a plastic toy dolphin and a dirty diaper taking a swim in said toilet, so... G and I need to sit down and have a little talk about that, I think.

Speaking of little talks - one day in nursery at church Valerie screamed at another child who wanted the toy she was playing with. Instead of making a scene I said "let's go have a little talk in the bathroom" and took her into the ladies' room which is quiet and private (often she just needs a break from the chaos of nursery) where we discussed sharing and taking turns. So now anytime she's misbehaving and I verbally correct her, she'll jump up and say "Go have a little talk!" and run to her room or to the bathroom ahead of me.

Her alter egos have expanded - Terry is usually Owl now, and Gabriel is usually Piglet or Tigger. I'm usually "the other Dada." Terry is never the "other Mama" though - go figure!

Our Potty Party

2011-10-18T03:00:00.001-04:00

So here is our Potty Tale.

I have alluded on this blog a few times to my attempts to potty train Valerie, but not in very much detail. This was partly to protect her privacy and partly because it was such a Big Huge Deal in my mind, that I didn't quite know how to write about it without getting my proverbial knickers all in a twist myself. Now that we're at the point where she is, for all intents and purposes, DONE with diapers (can I hear a Halleluja, Amen?!?) I thought I'd reflect back on the process. Some things can really only be seen in hindsight, am I right?

The actual potty learning time (which, I realize, is still ongoing although the bulk of the work is done) still feels to me like a miraculous journey. After my first two attempts, which involved much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth (mostly on Valerie's part), I realized I was completely unable to envision success. Like, I couldn't even picture V calmly and successfully using the potty. Even despite many, many occasions of practice (see photo above) during which she would walk through and narrate the entire process - but ONLY if she could keep her pants and diaper on.

But then she started asking to see Elmo's Potty Time DVD again, and was very intent on a little girl in the video who takes off her own diaper and sits on her own little potty in the middle of a party with lots of balloons. So I decided we should have a potty party. I made a count-down calendar, and we talked about it every day - how we would have balloons and ice cream and pizza - and then I got sick. Throwing up all night, flat out in bed sick. And then Valerie got sick. So I had to abandon the count-down - but a couple days later, we were both better, she was ready, so we did it.

I had bought a little blue potty (see photo below) with a picture of a duck on it, and decided to use a timer and have her sit on it every 20 minutes. Funnily enough, our iTouch has a duck-quack option for the alarm/timer so I chose that setting, and it seemed to really tickle her fancy - "When you hear the duck, time to sit on the duck potty!" she would say every time. It worked great, and upon her first success I jumped up and down and cheered, blew up a balloon, gave her a bite of ice cream to eat, and I think gave her a little gift even (I forget now; the point it, it was a big deal and I was beyond excited!).

From that point on, she little by little got better and better at it. There were some mishaps, and it was a little tough for her to deal with the trip to Ohrid in the middle of potty training month, but overall it just went soooooo much better than I expected. After a few days she got tired of using the duck timer, so we just went to verbal reminders. Then she got tired of being reminded all the time and showed that she was able to tell us on her own when she needed to go. She also very quickly decided that she much prefers making #2 on the potty than in her pants, so that's been a much easier transition than I expected. We also used some great padded underpants and special pull-ups that Dot brought from the States (and it was wonderful having so much extra help in those early weeks for the constant vigilance and reminders!). The thinner pull-ups actually helped, because after she had a major overflow spill in them once, she decided to treat them like underpants instead of diapers and not pee in them anymore either - even when I tell her she can (like when we're out and there's no toilet nearby).

In the past two weeks, she's had exactly two accidents, both while sleeping (pull-up overflow).

I can't tell you how happy I am not to be buying diapers for V anymore!!! If I'd known it was going to take this long I would have used cloth diapers with her from the get-go. I calculate we've spent around $2,000 on diapers for her over the three years. Even at $18 each, we would not have spent that much on cloth diapers.

Gabriel has been very, very interested in the proceedings - so much so I wonder if I should start him too? I think I'll wait until closer to 18 months but I definitely think I'll start sooner with him rather than later. He's so precocious in other ways, I think it's reasonable to expect he'll be trained by the time he's 2.

(The other potty in the photo above was one I bought last year in November; the middle piece comes out, and I wasn't sure whether or not it was pinching her legs when she sat down in it. Now I know it doesn't - but that's why we have two. The blue ring in the top photo has generally worked very well too.)

Love U, Miss U

2011-10-17T08:16:00.001-04:00

Sometimes it's really hard to be so far away from my family.

more pictures

2011-10-14T09:05:00.000-04:00

Solana drew this picture of the Phantzi family after our last skype with them:

Didn't she do an awesome job?

I still haven't finished going through the 1000+ photos I uploaded from Dot's camera!

But here are some of them.

A fun thing about having extra family members around is that

I get to be in some of the pictures too for a change :-)

Fighting the Forces of Darkness... One Committee Meeting at a Time

2011-10-12T08:20:00.002-04:00

In lieu of an actual guest blog post from my Dear Husband, I've taken screen shots of his Tweets (see @TerrenceJantzi if you want more!) As always when dealing with my male-r half, please remember to take everything with a grain - ahem, a CUP - of salt!

Seasons

2011-10-10T07:40:00.003-04:00

edited slightly: I fixed the link on Gabriel's name below

I feel the shift of the earth in its orbit: the seasons have changed, and the first bite of winter came this weekend. It feels like one day we were sweating and hiding from the sun, and the next day shivering and seeking it out. This weekend I raised the awning over our balcony to let in more light, and dressed Gabriel in his winter pajamas. I noticed while walking to my Albanian lesson today that many of the sidewalk cafes and open-air produce vendors have either packed up or retreated indoors. Sure, it's 70 degrees out today, but there is a chill and clarity in the air that evokes the coming of the cold.

The turning of the seasons makes me contemplative all the more because it marks our first year in Albania. We moved here at Solstice last year, and we’ve now gone a full turn around the sun in this place. The coming of the cold usually makes me a little sad, but there’s a funny gladness in me this year as the angle of the light and the smell of roasting chestnuts evokes the memories of last year. It feels like we have come so far as a family in one year, in so many good ways – Valerie talking and engaging in pretend play, learning to use the potty, overcoming so much of her anxiety and fears from the first few months. And Gabriel – wow. Transformed from an infant into a toddler. All those milestones – rolling over, sitting up, teething, eating solids, standing, walking – if only he would SLEEEEEEP! Ah well.

I find that the same things that bothered me a year ago about Albania still bother me – the litter, the second-hand smoke – and the same things I enjoyed a year ago are still my favorite things about living here – the kindness and generosity of the people, learning the language, the plentiful fresh produce (which I’m told is de facto mostly organic, not so much from an ideological motive but more just because farmers can’t afford a lot of agrochemicals).

As we rode the bus to Saranda last week, I was struck with the feeling that this is where we are supposed to be right now. I don’t think I could give a reason or explanation; I just know, somehow.

And that’s a good feeling.

Albanian wedding

2011-10-09T07:10:00.000-04:00

Last month Terry and I attended our first Albanian wedding - well, part of one! Here we are decked out in our finery pre-festivities (Shpresa loaned me the sweater, bracelet, and earrings - I think she was worried I wasn't going to be fancy enough!)

The part of the three-day affair that we were invited to was the Bride's farewell party, which is given by her family. The bride was one of Terry's co-workers so that's how we scored an invite. We went together with four other people from his office, as a "family" unit. The Bride's party is the second part of the process; the first part is a party thrown by the groom's family for their friends and relatives. The third part is when the groom's family goes to get the bride from her home and take her to the groom's home to live. For families that are not particularly religious (and remember that Albania was an atheist state for 50 years) there is no other ceremony such as we typically think of in the Americas.

We arrived at the locale, a ballroom at the top floor of a fancy hotel, a little late (the invitation was for 8:30 p.m., I think) but we weren't too late to see the bride make her grand entrance on her brother's arm (her father is deceased):
She was lowered through the ceiling on a special descending platform with dry ice billows, blue and red lights, and two adorable flower girls.

She was seated at the head table and everyone proceeded to eat two courses of a 5- or 6-course meal (salad, cheese and cold cut platter, grilled vegetables, sausage stew, roast lamb and potatoes, and probably a dessert that we missed because we skipped out a little early).

More than an hour after the bride arrived, the groom and his immediate family came down a flight of stairs:
And then there was eating and drinking and dancing until after 3:00 a.m. It was live music, kind of like this but livelier. It was very different from our Mennonite wedding in Lancaster, PA, 11 years ago!

The bride and groom danced together and people threw money at them.
Technically we were not supposed to leave until the groom and his family did, but by 3 a.m. we were pretty beat... so we made our retreat.

So fun! I wouldn't want to do it every weekend but people have been telling me since we got here that we need to see an Albanian wedding while we're here, so I was really glad we got to go to one!

album

2011-10-07T04:54:00.005-04:00

O Sa Bukur! (Oh how beautiful!)

2011-10-03T09:37:00.003-04:00

Some photos from our weekend trip to Saranda:

Gabriel enjoying the flowers during a pit stop

Valerie "playing soccer" with a mosaic ball (same pit stop)

Saranda at sunset

Another pit stop

Somewhere really beautiful near the coast

This past weekend we took a 9-hour bus trip to the southernmost part of Albania, spitting distance (almost literally) from Greece. We could see Corfu, but didn't make it there just because the ferry schedule didn't coincide with our retreat schedule.

Terry was participating in the annual WV day of prayer; last year we went to Montenegro for this same event, almost immediately after arriving in the country - still a bit shellshocked from the trip and trying to find our land legs (you totally have to click on the link to last year's post - if nothing else to see the photo of Gabriel and gape at how much he has grown!).

The kids and I were happy to go along even though it was a really, really long bus ride. The kids did great, actually, although the return trip didn't depart until after 1 p.m. so we didn't get home til almost 10. We went on a charter bus full of young, energetic WV staff who doted on the kids, sang to them, played with them, shared snacks and showed them little videos on their iPhones. So that made it a little easier.

Valerie did GREAT with the potty training - no accidents whatsoever. We took along her little potty as well as a ring that goes on top of an adult-sized toilet and used them at pit stops and at the hotel. I think it's safe to say at this point she's done with diapers. We use pull-ups at night but even so she's gotten to the point where she treats them like underpants anyway, telling me when she needs to go potty even in the middle of the night.

Saranda was absolutely gorgeous. In fact the whole trip was gorgeous. I decided I want to live in a village above Orikum :-)

The day and a half at the hotel were fun, too. The kids enjoyed the little playground by the hotel pool, and walking down to the beach to throw stones in the water. They really loved the elevator which dinged every time the doors opened. And the long gauze curtains in the dining room. And the constant admiring attention from the throngs of caring adults at the conference! They liked the big hotel bed and the balcony. Saturday afternoon Valerie took a bunch of rectangular cookies, spread them out on the table, and told me they were Jesus's sheep and he was looking for the lost one. Then she gave them some small blue tiles from the pool to eat (apparently they were acorns!). Gabriel showed off his receptive knowledge of Albanian (pointing to his head when prompted, making sounds or signs of different animals) and charmed one and all with his adorable smile.

We didn't get much sleep but we survived... and it's nice to be home now where we can rest and recharge our batteries.

Melt

2011-09-23T08:44:00.003-04:00

Picture this:

You hear the door open; Shpresa and Gabriel are back from their walk. You look down the hall, and you see him being lowered to his feet, his fat little legs sticking out like prongs to meet the floor.

He turns to you and his whole face lights up with the beaming smile that says you are the person he loves most in the world. Shpresa puts a posy of marigolds in his dimpled fist, the flowers exactly matching the orange in his shirt, and he toddles straight down the hall towards you, with that dimple in his cheek and the fine brown hair falling across his forehead.

You crouch to meet him, arms open wide, and he throws himself against you and you lift him up. He sniffs the flowers, looking up at you, then pushes the posy into your nose and plants a wet kiss on your cheek.

You hug him tight - Hijito lindo, pequeño, precioso, mi amor.

That glowing puddle on the floor? That's me - a melting pool of pure happiness and love.

Guest Blog Post!

2011-09-22T09:05:00.002-04:00

Please welcome with a warm round of applause, our first guest blogger here at Phantzi Little Yarns, Grammy Dot!

The Jantzi grandparents are adapting to this wonderful ancient culture and reconnecting with the grandchildren. Since Valerie now calls herself Panther (after Pink Panther), we all have become Panthers. Gabriel is Baby Panther, Elizabeth--Mama Panther, Terry--Dada Panther, Dot--Grammy Panther, Vern--Grandpa Panther. If we forget, we hear a shriek, or a correction of some kind. The use of ValVal Panther, though, is permitted. But then she confuses the issue and Elizabeth becomes Grandma Panther, too!! Some days she decides she's Piglet, or Duck, or some other animal, but mostly it's Panther. It's a lot of fun being here and interacting face to face (rather than through Skype video) with Valerie and dear little Gabriel with the great big flirty smile that lights up his whole face!! They all came to the airport to meet us and Valerie still talks about how "Grammy and Grandpa came out of airplane." They both enjoy the stuffed animals--Pooh and Tigger, and the "button" books with sounds of Pooh and Tigger experiences.

Today the grandparents bought Valerie new shoes that light up when she walks as a bonus gift for how well she is adapting to potty training. There are a few misses, but mostly hits.

We particularly enjoyed our trip to Macadonia and our stay in the old city. Pooh and Tigger are constant companions wherever we go.

One Year in Albania!

2011-09-22T08:25:00.006-04:00

Today marks one year since we arrived in Albania; a point in time to reflect and remember, to celebrate successes and set goals for the coming year.

Yesterday we (the Jantzi grands and I) took Valerie to Tregu Çam near our first apartment in Tirana, to buy her a pair of shoes – the kind that have little lights that flash when you walk – as a reward for her potty training successes. She seemed a little subdued and emotional, although I’m not sure if it was due to visiting our old neighborhood, or because she overheard Dot and I talking about them leaving next week. I know that I always feel a little pang when I get near our old place. We only lived there five months, but there was an intensity and tenderness of emotion imbued in those five months that can’t be matched in “ordinary life.” Perhaps that’s why Terry and I like to change things up so often (jobs, homes, countries) – to keep reaching that emotional high, even though it can also be painful at times.

After shopping we went to the “orange couch” park (Compleksi Taiwan in Parku Rinia) for juice and coffees. The guy who waited on us was the same guy who waited on us (and whom I invariably tipped extravagantly) all through last winter when I would take the kids there 3-4 times a week. He commented that Valerie “është e rritur” – she has grown. And she has – she seems so long and tall now! When we came here a year ago, she was barely talking – now she narrates funny little stories all day long (and well into the night), recites ditties she’s learned from Shpresa in Shqip, and stays dry all day (and sometimes all night!)!

Gabriel has probably changed the most – from a wobbly infant who slept all the time (albeit in short increments) to a goofy, affectionate toddler who tries to copy everything his sister does – and often everything we do, too. Yesterday after I emptied a sugar packet into my coffee, he took the empty packet and shook it over my cup, stirred it with the spoon, and then carefully blew on it before letting me have a sip!

Terry will have to tell you himself about his life as an office drone; I will say that he continues to blow people away with how well he can speak Shqip. He’s not where he wants to be – which would be completely fluent – and this keeps him up at night studying grammars and children’s books, or surfing YouTube for traditional Shqip songs (which also impresses the heck out of people, that he even knows who Vaçe Zela is, for example, and that he knows all the words to “Unë Jam Njëzet Vjeç.” I’m very proud of him.

I’ve found a balance, I think, thanks to Shpresa’s invaluable help, between motherhood, expat life, and dissertation writing. It’s amazing how much energy each of these pursuits can absorb. There’s not much left for “wife” afterwards (and absolutely none for knitting), though we’ve been able to squeeze in the occasional date night (more like date afternoon) here and there. In a way it’s good we had 8 solid years just the two of us to lay a strong foundation.

It’s hard to believe that a year from now Gabriel will be two – the same age Valerie was when we came – and that Valerie will be four, ready for preschool. I will hopefully be close to finishing a draft of my dissertation (I try to keep my goals realistic!), and Terry will be contemplating life in the classroom once again.

Or else orchestrating a move to Mongolia. ;-) Keep your seat belts fastened!

Travelogue: the cute kids post

2011-09-20T04:16:00.001-04:00

Valerie at the wheel of our rental car

Valerie sharing her çubuk with "Xhaxhi" (uncle) on a boat ride along the shore of Lake Ohrid

Skipper's littlest helper!

Ah, naps! I had to wear G down in the sling pretty much every time. He's getting really heavy!

Back in Tirana, we took the grandparents up to Mt. Dajti National Park. Valerie was beyond excited. Gabriel had his first horseback ride! I took one too - first time in about 20 years I've been on a horse. The smells reminded me of when I was a kid and we would ride horses in to Chumbakiwi, one of the Quechua villages my parents worked in a long time ago.

Travelogue, part II

2011-09-19T04:28:00.001-04:00

sunrise over Ohrid

something old emerging from the earth near the Amphitheater

There are a lot of fascinating old cars in the old city. If I knew more about cars I bet they'd be even more fascinating. This is a Lada; I also saw a number of Zastavas.

On Terry's birthday, we got to go out to dinner sans kids, thanks to Grandpa and Grandma! What a treat!

Moonrise over Lake Ohrid.

So lucky we got to see the full moon rise on both our visits to this beautiful spot!

Travelogue, part I

2011-09-18T04:54:00.005-04:00

Here's a little summary/overview of our recent trip:

We left Sunday morning in hopes of avoiding some of the city traffic as Terry got used to driving in Albania. It sort of worked.

We drove to Lin, a small village on the Albanian side of Lake Ohrid and stayed there one night in hopes of avoiding some of the nightclub noise in the old city of Ohrid on the Macedonian side (that sort of worked too). It was the first time ever that both kids spent the night in the same room! I'd say it... sort of worked. Getting them to fall asleep seemed impossible until I stuck Gabriel in the sling and took him for a walk under the moonlight. He conked out in under 10 minutes. With him out of the room, Valerie was able to fall asleep too.

Monday we drove to Villa Lucija in Ohrid - the same place we stayed before. Lovely as always, if a tad bit hotter. The spring peepers were not out in force like they'd been in June but there seemed to be a lot more gulls around. They were cool too.

Monday we took a short boat ride along the lakeshore; Tuesday we walked around the old city looking at old Orthodox churches and things like that; Wednesday we took the ferry across the lake to Sveti Naum where we took another little row-boat to see some of the springs that are the source of the lake.

I don't think these photos can fully convey the ambiance of the place - the water was incredibly clear and incredibly cold, and you could see it bubbling up from under the sand or trickling in from among the rocks. From the boat, we picked blackberries that hung out over the water - plump and fresh and sweet. Too bad we could only reach one each!

Thursday we drove back to Tirana, stopping at noon in Pogradec where I was able to connect with a HNGR intern currently placed there - that was really cool, as I'd been unable to reach her by phone and wasn't sure if we'd be able to see her or not. But as we drove into the city, we saw a young woman walking along the road side and said "she looks like she might be American, let's ask her if she's Rachel!" So we stopped and asked and she WAS! So I was able to have a coffee with her while the other three adults wrangled the tired and weary kids before the last leg of our journey. I did this same internship program 17 years ago (wow), only in Bolivia, so it was really cool to see that the spirit of the program has remained the same.

More photos coming soon!

Happy Birthday, Mom!

2011-09-18T04:01:00.002-04:00

I don't have a photo that's less than a year old... so here's a rose for your birthday.

Love you, miss you, Mom!

Happy Birthdays!

2011-09-13T02:33:00.000-04:00

Happy birthday, Solana!

And Terry!

Out of Office Notice

2011-09-11T02:19:00.002-04:00

We're leaving today for a week-long trip around Lake Ohrid, both the Macedonia side and the Albania side (at least that's the plan...) I'm not sure if I'll be able to blog much until next weekend, so until then here are some goofy pictures of the kids to keep you entertained!

Gabriel beginning computer literacy with the help of Shpresa's son, Samuel

Another rare ponytail moment!

xo,

eep

short

2011-09-07T14:46:00.003-04:00

One of our fish died :-( The one I called Rosencrantz. It was looking pretty listless for the past few days so I wasn't surprised. I buried it in a flowerpot.

We've been having a lot of fun showing the grandparents around Tirana. It's been pretty hot, but they seem to be managing pretty well so far!

Potty training is going better than I expected with more hits than misses. I'm proud of our Panther-girl.

PT

2011-09-03T10:22:00.002-04:00

So this week has been devoted to potty training. FINALLY, after three previous attempts spaced out over the past eight months (I think?), we had some success. We've been using a timer for reminders to sit on the potty, and celebrating successes with balloons, ice cream, and fun toys like stickers and blowing bubbles. V refuses to wear underpants so it's mostly "au naturel" at home, and pull-ups when we go out. The pull-ups clearly feel exactly like diapers to her so I'm not sure how useful they are as a transitional item.

Anyway. My goals are modest: to be using regular underpants and mostly accident-free by Christmas.

spending a lot of time in the bathroom lately...

2011-08-29T15:02:00.004-04:00

Sorry for the slow-down in posting. Last Tuesday I got sick - well, I guess it started Sunday with a sore throat, followed by a sore tongue (weirdest symptom ever) and everything tasted odd. Then couldn't keep anything down for about 24 hours, just small sips of water or diluted juice. Also, euphemistically speaking, GI "issues." By Thursday I felt fine but Valerie was sick. All day Friday, all she wanted to do was lie down. Poor sickie. Thing is, I'd been building up momentum for another potty-training push that was supposed to start Thursday. But between me being sick and her being sick, it didn't happen. But she kept talking about it once she felt better (basically back to normal by Sunday afternoon) and this morning she turned down a diaper and.... (drum roll)... wanted to sit on the potty! This was a huge step forward for us so I decided to go with it, ditched my plans for the day, and spent all day setting the timer on our iTouch to go off every 20 minutes with a duck sound for the alarm. "When you hear the duck," she kept saying all day, "time to go sit on the potty!" We had two hits and three misses, but I'm just so happy that we're moving in the right direction at last. We'll see what tomorrow brings...

This is a detail of a dress I bought (second-hand, $15) to attend a wedding next month!

Cilantro growing in our flower-pot!

My and Valerie's toes

little pieces of random

2011-08-21T14:37:00.003-04:00

These are our fish. Technically, I guess they're Valerie's, since they were a birthday present for her from Shpresa's family - handpicked and carried to our home by her 13-year-old son. We haven't named them yet, although a few ideas I've had are: Picard and Riker; or Bob and Bob (from a Sandra Boynton book). Any other ideas? We have no idea whether they are male or female or one of each.

I think I almost killed them tonight, too - our water was out for a few hours this afternoon, and then later on I cleaned their tank and the fresh water I put in looked a little cloudy. A few hours after that I noticed one of the fish lying half on its side at the bottom of the tank (well, it's really a big glass jar with holes poked in the lid) so I immediately changed the water, using water that we buy to drink and not tap water. They perked up right away so I think they're going to make it.

~~~

Welcome to my office! This is a cafe near our apartment building where I often go to work. I sit at one of the two tables pictured here since there are two outlets handy for plugging in the computer. There's no wireless access, but there is an internet cafe next door if I do need to check e-mail or something on one of their computers.

I like this place for its indoor/outdoor feel, and it's off the main drag so it's usually fairly quiet. It doesn't get too hot, either, except in the middle of the day. They don't serve food, but I usually get a macchiato or juice to drink. The height of the table is not ideal for typing but it's ok.

The photo below is from another place I go to sometimes, a cafe called "Camelot." No wireless here either, but the service is very friendly and they do serve food which is nice if I decide to stay through lunch. The tables are bigger which makes it a good place to spread out if I need to. It does get very hot, though, since they get direct sun all morning long.

There are one or two other places I go to regularly but I don't have pictures of them yet.

~~~

Terry bought a second floor fan for our apt. today, and Gabriel was completely fascinated. He was not very happy when we took away the screwdriver, though. How cute is that pudgy little guy though? (Gabriel is pretty adorable, too, don't you think?) :-)

Dizzy!

2011-08-15T06:05:00.003-04:00

Gabriel has been imitating Valerie's spinning around. Midway through the video you can hear her saying "My [I'm] Gabriel - two Gabriels!" and then a little later "Gabriel laughing - Panther laughing."

Youtube version forthcoming.

Cute babies

2011-08-12T10:00:00.002-04:00

Remember those frozen blueberries I scored? We've been making muffins. Lots and lots of muffins. Also, blackberries are in season. So, more muffins. Yum.

kid stuff

2011-08-11T05:00:00.000-04:00

Gabriel is learning to sign! He can sign "hat," "duck," and "rabbit." He also makes appropriate noises for cats, dogs, cows, and frogs. He shakes his head vigorously side to side when he doesn't want something, or when we say "no." He's become very interested in books, and when he finds one he likes he'll stomp over to me or Terry for us to read it to him. He loves books with pictures of animals and babies. He's a great mimic and is already feeding himself really well with a fork. As soon as I bring over the oatmeal for breakfast he puffs out his little cheeks and starts blowing because that's what I do every day :-). When we say bath time he drops whatever he is doing and walks straight to the bathroom as fast as he can. He can kick a ball pretty well, too.

We're still working on sharing, but it's getting better. Valerie will sometime run past Gabriel, throw a toy in his lap and say "Share with 'Briel! Good blob [job]!" Something really clicked for her around the time G started crawling, even more so when he started walking. Suddenly they seem more like siblings, instead of the Queen Bee and the Interloper (well, most of the time anyway). When she wakes up in the morning or after her nap, I'll go in and leave the door open. Usually G is already awake, and he'll follow me into her room. When she hears him coming she sits up with a big smile and as soon as he appears in the doorway she starts laughing and says "Gabriel comes walking!" When G wakes up from his morning nap and I go to get him, she runs ahead of he to his room and knocks on the door saying "knock knock knock, hewo, come in!"

Here is a transcript of V's account of a play date we had a few weeks ago (she was Duck that day):

"Went Sammy-Beanie's house. Saw black doggie in house. Goes 'wa wa was WOOF!' Read big Brown Bear book. Saw pictures on wall. Played in swimming pool. Duck got all wet. Girl splashed you. Went to see toys, went to ride on lion [riding toy], went to sit on lion. Going RRRAWR! Went play toys. Duck ate food in high chair. Duck got milk. Good milk."

buy local

2011-08-04T10:32:00.007-04:00

Our street is lined with empty storefronts interspersed with small mom-and-pops. In the space of one block, there are two seamstresses, two small groceries, two fruit-and-vegetable marts, a butcher’s shop, an internet café, two regular cafes, two clothing shops, a used-clothing store, and a “dyqan ndryshme” – I suppose you’d call it a variety store? They sell laundry baskets, mops, plastic tubs, house slippers, clocks, knick-knacks, hair accessories, makeup, mirrors, sewing thread, scissors… it’s our own little micro-Wal-Mart. It’s easy to run down and buy a quart of milk or a bag of çubuk, or any of those random little things you need but don’t want to make a long trip for.

Here’s my problem – the food stuff, it isn’t always fresh. Every time I’ve bought produce, dairy, or meat, I’ve been disappointed. The rope of onions I bought one day all had rotten centers. The plums and nectarines grew mold overnight. The chicken breasts and ground beef sat in my fridge for just one day before I put them in the freezer, and upon thawing smelled bad and I had to throw them out.

And I feel bad, because I walk past the empty storefronts with big “FOR RENT OR SALE” signs in our building, and I don’t want these other shops to close for lack of business. But slow business is the reason their stuff goes bad – they probably buy the cheap, low-quality stuff to begin with, and then it sits too long because the turnover isn’t fast enough. So I feel like by not shopping there I’m contributing to the problem. But I can’t feed my family tainted meat or rotten fruit. So… I go around the corner to the nicer shops on the main avenue. And feel guilty walking past the local guy.

(Although I guess as long as I can avoid the Italian chain grocery store I’m still more or less ok.)

Barnyard Dance!

2011-08-03T10:08:00.004-04:00

Anyone remember the 2-year-old version of this?

(Look in the background during the last verse - 0:37 - and you'll see some boxers who were working out near us at the park. G was fascinated by them!)

youtube version here.

food and foreigners

2011-08-02T11:19:00.004-04:00

Continuing the discussion on expatriates and food... bear with me as I get a wee bit political. I've heard many people in the US criticize immigrants for failing to assimilate quickly, for clinging too long or too strongly to the language, customs, and foods of their country of origin. But the vast majority of Americans I've met living overseas do the same thing, to some degree or another. Familiar food is incredibly comforting when you're homesick. I remember a group of our cross-cultural students in Peru making a bee-line to the MacDonald's they found in Lima, bypassing the local sandwich shops. And although some expats do "go native" and take pride in enjoying the local cuisine, the reason they take such pride in this ability or preference has a lot to do with (in my opinion) that it's NOT the norm. In fact, when an expat does "go native" too deeply they often become subject to criticism from other expats. (Side note: why are immigrants in the US never called "expats"? Even those who are only coming temporarily to work, which is what we're doing here in Albania? Something to think about. I think it has a lot to do with power, privilege and class. But I digress. Sort of.) Anyway, it's just a bit of a pet peeve of mine and I'm a bit bemused by my own current fixation on oatmeal and Cheerios.

Did I mention that I spent $10 on two lbs. of frozen blueberries today? You can't get blueberries in the shops here, but apparently they do grow wild in the mountains near Tirana, and a woman picks them and sells them to American missionaries. I can't tell you how excited Valerie was to get them. She's been talking about blueberry muffins for ages (prompted, I believe, by a Strawberry Shortcake coloring book she has) and I told her Grammy can bring some dried blueberries from the States. We made some delicious blackberry muffins today (those grow all over the place here and showed up fresh in the markets a couple weeks ago), and tomorrow we'll make blueberry muffins. Right now both kids have purple-stained lips and fingers. And I feel silly for buying them, but... I really wanted them!

Ah, expat dilemmas.

Food

2011-07-31T14:48:00.003-04:00

A couple weekends ago, we took a long, hot, uphill trek to America's Favorites food store, an income-generation project by a missionary couple who also run their own printing business here on the outskirts of Tirana. I was looking for oatmeal and mac-and-cheese, but also interested in seeing what else they might have that I would like to get but isn't available here. They were out of mac-and-cheese but I scored some delicious 5-minute oatmeal which I used the last of today - I'm going to have to go back sometime this week and get more, because the kids love it too. People here don't eat oatmeal because it's considered horse food. Imagine if someone told you they like alfalfa for breakfast!

I also bought a big bottle of vanilla flavoring, and double-strength baking powder, because in the grocery stores here I've only seen baking soda (not powder) and the vanilla flavoring is in tiny little ampules and doesn't even really taste like vanilla.

I also bought a huge box of Cheerios for about 8 US$... a quick google search suggests that the same size box would probably retail for about $3 in the US. So, expensive Cheerios. And even though we have a handy little snack cup with a lid that reduces spills... well, reduces isn't the same as eliminates, and I was suddenly remembering the thick Cheerio carpet that ossified on the floor of our car and under V's carseat in the States. So I've been a little obsessive-compulsive following the kids around picking up Cheerios as they drop them, and depending on the relative cleanliness of the surface they fell on, either putting them back in the cup or eating them myself. They're just such a handy, easy, perfect toddler snack, and the honey-nut variety you can get here just aren't the same - a lot more sugar, for one thing, and also harder to chew for some reason.

So, all this to say that when I came across this blog post from "Stuff Expat Aid Workers Like," I just had to laugh at myself: "Expat aid workers like food. More specifically, they like talking about all the trouble they go through to get it. Items that had very little value in their pre-EAW life now get elevated to the same level of importance as, for example, oxygen. Get a few EAWs together and sooner or later the conversation will migrate to cereal."

Touché, mon ami; touché.

Sa i madh?

2011-07-31T08:52:00.005-04:00

I do have some Valerie videos, that I will upload sometime this week. This is G being cute in the high chair. Here is the youtube link.

Here's a transcript:

0:03 - imitates me shaking head vigorously

0:08 - I say "lepurushi!" (little rabbit) and sign rabbit off camera

0:12 - he signs rabbit, just as I ask him "where's your head?"

0:15 - he pats his head

0:21 - I ask "How big is Gabriel? Sooo big!" He looks at me funny.

0:24 - I ask in Albanian, "Sa i madh është Gabrieli? I madh!" He lifts his arms

0:30: I say "shumë mirë, shumë mirë" (very good, very good) and he begins opening and closing his hands and being thoroughly entertained by this activity for the rest of the video clip.

Enjoy!

Go See Dada

2011-07-29T07:01:00.004-04:00

(wow, I really need to cut her bangs!!!)

Tuesday afternoon we took the bus to Terry's office to pick him up. The crew there were in the middle of a workshop that involved, inexplicably, a whole pile of balloons! So my little people were in 7th heaven. Also super-fun: plastic cups!!!!

Valerie picked out this dress to wear, also inexplicably, since she normally refuses to wear a dress, even to church. Whatever. At least she was super-cute in a context where we saw a lot of people!

Gabriel got passed around as always, although he's kind of over it right now - becoming very clingy to Mama. I'm sure it's a phase. Mostly he enjoyed stomping around the office complex, babbling, chewing on pens, trying to stick his fingers in outlets, and chasing balloons.

We took the bus back, too, since it was a) hot and b) late. Quick baths and then bed (I packed a supper to take along since I never know how long it's going to take to extricate ourselves from the office...) We don't do this very often but it's fun when we do.

blurb

2011-07-25T09:28:00.000-04:00

Shpresa is away at a retreat this week, so I'm on duty now from x:00 a.m. (whenever Gabriel wakes up) until x:00 p.m. (whenever Valerie falls asleep). Terry has a work trip today and gets back late tonight so I don't have anybody around to shoo me off the computer. I'm waiting for Valerie to fall asleep so I can cut her fingernails. Meanwhile, here are a few photos representative of fun at home! While I'm making an effort to re-instate our twice-daily outings, we do have a lot of fun just hanging around the house.

Monkey just had a bath and is about to have his diaper changed.

This is "Panther's" picnic - I think baby panther is holding a "tomato." The blue triangles are fish, the books are sandwiches, and I'm not sure what the pelican is supposed to be but it's something edible.

I just thought this was too cute: Mama giraffe giving baby giraffe "a BIG hug!"

Buildings

Tonight before I said goodnight to V, she told me "Doggie [her current alter ego] ate fish all day, just like the llama."

I said, "Llamas don't eat fish; seals eat fish, llamas eat grass."

"NO. Llamas eat çubuk!" (breadsticks).

Peacocks!

2011-07-22T09:52:00.004-04:00

Now that we've done some heavy pondering on power/privilege,

let's look at some pretty pictures!

Peacocks!

Welcome to broody, moody Sveti Naum. This was part of our trip to Ohrid.

Valerie still pretends that she's going on a boat to look at peacocks. None of them fanned their tails for us but they were still a big hit with our animal lover!

Passport

2011-07-22T08:59:00.003-04:00

I went to the US Embassy in Tirana yesterday just past noon to renew my passport, which will expire in December, inside the six months recommended. As I walked up towards the high yellow walls along Rruga e Elbasanit, I could feel the sweat start to trickle down my back, and I couldn’t help but think how different this was from my visit last November, when I went for an affidavit of something or other as part of my residency visa application. Then it was cold, wet, and windy; I was wrapped up in warm woolen layers (scarf, hat, sweater, coat). Yesterday was a warm, clear summer day, and this change of seasons more than anything else makes me feel like we’ve been here for a solidly long time.

So I arrived at the back entrance to the complex, the entrance for visa and citizen services, and had to wait in a narrow alley in the hot sun with about thirty other people – all Albanians, as far as I could tell – since the office was still closed for lunch. It was moderately interesting to see how different people reacted differently to the situation; the woman whose swollen feet strained in her cheap black shoes humbly took her place in line; the woman carrying an expensive purse and the prosperous-looking man with his cell phone in a belt holster stood in the shade near the wall until the security guard told them to move; then they stood at the edge of the sidewalk (still in the shade) about six inches closer to the rest of us but nowhere near the rest of us, on the other side of the alley where they’d been told to go.

At five minutes to 1:00, the guard (heavy night-stick, but no gun) motioned me over towards the entrance and asked “citizen?” I said yes, and he nodded and opened the heavy door for me. At the security booth I relinquished my cell phone, went through the metal detector, and was in. As I walked across a small, shaded courtyard, I could see obliquely the long line of Albanians watching me through the gate.

It’s a weird feeling, getting shunted to the front of the line. I remember the same thing happening to me in Peru when I was 19 and had to renew my US passport while there on a break from college. The difference is that I am also a Peruvian citizen, and the long line of people I walked past that time were all Peruvians. And it felt wrong. It felt wrong to have a privilege that these men, women, and children didn’t have, as I walked past them feeling in the pit of my being “I am one of you, too!” and knowing at the same time that in many ways I am not.

If you think the DMV is a strange place, the visa application office at the US Embassy in Albania is even stranger. It’s a small room, with six glassed-in windows. 1-4 are for visa services, 5 is for citizen services and the sixth is the teller where you pay the fees. There are eleven chairs, but the ebb and flow of people means that up to 25 or so can stuff themselves in at once. Framed photos on the wall of Barak Obama, Joe Biden, and Hilary Clinton smile with shining teeth across from a painting of an girl in traditional Albanian costume holding a sheep, her long flowing brown hair enveloping a dove. You wonder if staunch Republicans waiting in this room for citizenship services feel more, or less, at home when they see the photos.

There is no real privacy. You can hear every conversation that takes place. The woman trying to explain to the visa officer where she actually lives, since she spends part of the year in her home in Albania and part of the year in her home in Macedonia (where her husband lives and works); the man applying for a visa for his young wife and three-month-old baby who is told he has to “bring proof that you were in Albania during the dates you say you were,” even though he has everything the web site said he should bring; the family of three who talk in nearly-perfect English with the visa officers but in Albanian with each other; the man answering extremely personal questions about his relationship history with his American wife; you can hear everything they say, and it feels awkward and wrong to be privy to the complexities of these strangers’ lives.

You think about the performance each interaction entails; wondering how people decided what to wear that day; noting body language, tone of voice, the phrasing of responses. You notice yourself acting more American – using colloquialisms, making unabashed eye contact with a strange man to show you are a liberated American woman. Even with the security guard, you say “thank you” when you retrieve your cell phone, not “Faleminderit.” Like every other applicant there, you are extremely polite.

I left the Embassy just short of an hour after I had arrived, with a receipt to pick up my new passport in a couple of weeks. I realized I was hungry since I’d left for my 1:15 appointment (which is kind of a joke, since up to four people can have an appointment for the same time slot, and they just take you in the order you show up; but since everybody wants to be on time, it’s a weird mad little scramble as all four jockey for their place in line) without eating. Dealing with bureaucrats is always unnerving, even when you have in your hand that magical talisman, that blue and gold passport; even when you know that the minute you open your mouth to speak the American officer behind the window will smile and you will see him relax just the tiniest little bit and he will meet your gaze with friendliness and regard, and you know he will be thinking “oh, she’s American; she’s an expat in Albania, like me,” and you will let him think that you are just like him, because it will help you get what you want.

Proof of my domesticity

2011-07-19T09:08:00.004-04:00

I made carrot cake cupcakes for Gabriel's birthday!

(That little yellow vial is vanilla flavoring)

Normally I never make anything that requires a recipe - cause I'm just too lazy to read directions (this does not apply to knitting patterns, so apparently it's laziness, not inability).

So I just grabbed the first recipe that came up on google when I put in a search for "carrot cake cupcakes"

Cream cheese frosting! It was really runny, but tasted yummy.

He wasn't sure about this new taste... (but Valerie loved them!)

And another time, I made fruit salad.

Take a hike...

2011-07-14T03:51:00.000-04:00

Last Saturday, we went for a "little" hike outside the city limits with a bunch of Terry's friends from work. (Or I should say, our friends from Terry's work!) It was blistering hot sun out and we were pretty tuckered out by the time we got home, but the kids slept great that night so it was not all for naught! Oh, and the views were kinda cool too:Terry and I zoomed in on the photo above and actually found our apartment building. It's a little to the left of the lake. See it? The light green one. :-)

A little bit short of the final destination, I stopped with the kids under this tree for a water and snack break. This was pretty much the first shade we came to outside the city. Don't think for a minute that Valerie walked a single step of the way - Terry carried her all the way up, and all the way down. I had Gabriel in the Ergo and he slept for most of the way up.

Getting the hang of it!

The rest of the crew went on to check out some old underground military bunkers, relics of Hoxha's own little pocket of the cold war here.
Then Terry came back ahead of the others to walk home with us. On our way back down we got to see a turtle!
...and a little farmette with chickens.
It felt A-MA-ZING to get home, cool off, drink lots of water, and all take naps. As the saying goes, "only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun" in Tirana in the summertime!

Before I forget...

2011-07-13T02:41:00.001-04:00

Some cute things the kids have been doing.

Gabriel:

WALKING!!! (See video in previous post.) And climbing. EVERYTHING.

Yesterday I was making lunch and the kids were playing quietly in the living room. Perhaps TOO quietly. I turned around and saw that Gabriel was standing on the armrest of the couch! Apparently he had climbed up on some sofa cushions that were stacked on the floor, then up onto the couch, then the armrest and onto his feet. Scary!

Beginning to blow kisses, peekaboo expert, eating almost 100% table food with us, ever-louder babbling, and recently became very interested in books, finally! He especially likes pictures of animals and babies, and books with textures (like Feely Bugs, or That's Not My Dinosaur). He also enjoys playing with Valerie's baby doll (although he does try to bite its head sometimes).

Valerie:

She saw a couple Pink Panther clips on Youtube, and she has now adopted a new identity. If I say "Val-Val, do you want some milk?" She'll answer "Panther wants some milk." She calls me Mama Panther, Terry is Dada Panther, and Gabriel is Baby Panther. Except sometimes now she's Bird, and occasionally even Panther-Bird. She acts out portions of the video, like when the panther tries to kill the flea on its nose with a baseball bat (she uses a drinking straw, thankfully) or freeze it off its back with ice cream (she uses plastic toy ice cream, thankfully).

She likes to act out pictures from the big Richard Scarry Storybook Dictionary Anita brought for her. One recurring theme in the book is a pig eating pickles. I commented off-hand one day, "You've never had a pickle, but someday you will get to try one." So for days after that she'd say "someday Val-Val eat a pickle" (this was before the Panther persona). Finally I bought some pickles for her to try and she didn't like them, which I kind of expected, and I felt kind of bad because she was soooo excited when I got them out for her to try. But then she talked about it afterwards a lot, "Val-Val ate a pickle!" so it wasn't a total loss.

She also re-creates the picture of all different kinds of buildings with her blocks, making castles with post-it note flags, "brick" houses, barns, etc.

Today she helped me make cupcakes. Well, first she found the muffin tin I used to make carrot cake cupcakes for Gabriel's birthday, and she got super excited "Mama make cupcakes! Mama make cupcakes!" So I looked around for something to make them special and decided just to add some orange juice for flavor to the basic cake recipe my mom taught me when I was 12. Panther helped me dump in the ingredients and mix them together, and then while they were baking she ate a huge bowl of alphabet soup BY HERSELF, switching back and forth between right and left hands. This is huge for me because even though she CAN feed herself, she hates getting food on her face and so usually insists that I help her eat. But she was so fascinated by the tiny letters that she didn't once ask for my help. Yay! And I don't bake much (ever), so there's not much cooking I do that she can help with since everything else involves knives and heat. So it was really fun to do this together.

Siblings

Some absolutely golden moments that make everything worth it:

One day I was singing a dance song and V wanted to dance with G but wasn't sure how, so I suggested she hold his hand. He was standing supporting himself with one hand, and she took the other, and did a little running dance step back and forth while he grinned from ear to ear! By the time I ran to get the camera she was done, but it was SO CUTE. You'll just have to use your imaginations.
Another day G was standing unsupported and I suggested V give him a hug. She stood behind him and put her arms around his shoulders and they both smiled. It was beautiful. Again, same story with the camera, but someday I'll get a shot since she's done it a few times since then as well.
They've been learning to play together like little puppies on our bed - rolling around, tickling each other's feet and hands, giggling and laughing.

Video of Gabriel Walking!

2011-07-12T14:50:00.003-04:00

I took this video two days after G's birthday (July 9). He was a little tired, so that's why he seems kind of floppy when he sort of half-falls against the chair.

"Look out World Cup, here I come!"

(and here it is on youtube for those of you using an iTouch)

The View From Our Balcony

2011-07-12T08:17:00.005-04:00

One of the things I enjoy about our new apartment is the view from the balcony. It's not the panoramic view of the city, hills, and mountains that we had from the old place, but it's a closer peek into a slice-of-life here in Tirana.

These two gentlemen play chess or dominoes together on a regular basis, next to a vacant grocery store.

Every day I can look down and see people making a living by scavenging through the dumpsters where we dispose of our household trash.

The kids both love watching the rain come down (though it hasn't in a while). They also like looking for dogs - both household pets being taken out for walks on leashes, and the many street dogs that patrol the area. Occasionally we spy a stray cat making a mad dash to hide under a car. And there are always people to see.

One day we watched a bride being escorted from her home with great fanfare - she looked absolutely jubilant.

One Year Old!

2011-07-07T02:00:00.001-04:00

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY GABRIEL TOBIAS!

We are so beyond blessed to have you in our lives, our beautiful and beloved son. You are a delight to everyone who knows you. You bring smiles and laughter into our hearts and home. When I hold you in my arms I feel like there isn't room in my chest for all the love I feel for you. I know that you will be a blessing to many people during your life. You are important to me beyond measure, and you have made our family complete. I can't wait to know you in five, ten, fifteen years as you grow up and show us all that you are capable of. I love you forever, your Mami

Time Lapse

2011-07-06T02:00:00.007-04:00

Here's a look back through Gabriel's first year

(each photo taken on or near the 7th of that month)

(edited to add hyperlink from each month title to the corresponding milestone blog post):

May:

Can you believe he was so tiny and skinny and red? Where did this wee baby go? Where did this loving, laughing, funny, adorable little boy-child come from? What a blessing you are to us, beloved Gabriel!

Walking!

2011-07-04T07:34:00.002-04:00

Gabriel is walking! Yesterday afternoon he started taking unsupported steps by himself and has been doing it off and on again since. He still likes to drop to comfortable, fast crawl, but by and large I'd say he's achieved this milestone - just days before his first birthday. Good job, little G!

(And of course, as is traditional with the second child, we managed to capture none of it on camera)

I could get addicted to this...

2011-07-01T09:42:00.002-04:00

Oh this is too much fun!

Testing: Video

2011-07-01T08:24:00.002-04:00

Let's see if this works: a short video of Gabriel laughing at S's fake sneezing. I also put it on Youtube here.

Little Updates

2011-07-01T08:06:00.005-04:00

wrapping monkey in his towel post play-bath

Anyone know how to get a 3-year-old to take a nap already????

We've been doing a new thing this week; setting a timer at bedtime and naptime. I lie down with her until the timer goes off, then I leave the room. It's working great at bedtime - instead of fighting sleep and trying to play with me, she actually lies down and puts herself to sleep, like she's trying to fall asleep before the timer goes off (I set it for 20 minutes, though I plan to cut back over time). Naptime is another story. Right now she has been in bed for an hour and a half and is still shouting intermittently. I went in twice to check on her in case she had a diaper issue going on but she was fine. Just not SLEEPING.

And I reeeeeally wanted a nap, myself, today.

Oh well.

Gabriel's been up to some cute new things; he is an enthusiastic mimic and has started imitating hand motions with little songs - adorable! Also, mooing when he holds a toy cow. He really wants to feed himself with a spoon but it's hit-or-miss whether he'll actually get any food into his mouth. He also likes putting the spoon in MY mouth!

We've been trying out our Ergo since I think he's outgrown the Bjorn - he loves the Ergo! I think it's a lot more comfortable for both of us! I haven't figured out yet, however, how to get him on and off my back without help. So when I'm on my own I still use the ring sling.

Valerie and Gabriel have been playing together more which is awesome. They have crawling races down the hallway which both of them find hugely hilarious, laughing all the way. Valerie is learning to touch him gently, and likes to play with his feet and touch his hair.

She's been living in a world of imagination lately - clothespins tossed onto a blanket become beans growing in a jar; her stuffed animals get pretend baths, then the "tub" (any random object will do - a shoebox, a basket, a plastic bowl, a shoe) turns into a cable car, a boat, monkey bars at the playground...

I've night weaned Gabriel this week too, and while he still wakes up two or three times at night, I only give him water and then a quick cuddle and he's back to sleep again with no tears. I wonder what it will take, though, for him to sleep through the night? I'm just don't like not checking on him at all when he wakes up at night, not knowing if he might be cold, or hot, or thirsty, or poopy. So a little drink and a little cuddle it is (exactly one verse of "Like A River Glorious" in my arms, then into the crib). The exception is when he wakes up at around 5:00 a.m. (which is every single morning, no joke). Then I let him sort of grunt and fuss because usually he doesn't actually cry, until he goes back to sleep until 6 or 7. The only problem is that it's light out by that time and I have a hard time falling back asleep myself then.

We've had cooler temperatures this week which as been nice. I've heard August is really really hot so we'll see how we fare with that!

Boats

2011-06-27T02:22:00.000-04:00

Wow, I really meant to post more last week! I got a kick of energy for doing dissertation work, and Valerie went on a nap strike, so those two factors together meant less blogging.

***

One of the really fun things about Ohrid was all the boats. I don't even have pictures of all the different kinds of boats we saw; this is the boat we took across the lake to Sveti Naum.

Valerie was completely thrilled watching people going for rides on the rowboats in the river near the monastery. She talked about it incessantly and started playing "boat" with her little bear in a basket, with spoons for oars. I will still find her lining up her stuffed animals in a shoe box, all leaning over the edge to look down into the pretend water to look at fish!

I don't have a picture of the smaller boat we went on for a tour around the water's edge, just 20 minutes along the shoreline, but thoroughly enjoyable as perhaps you can tell from my facial expression in this picture.

I developed a little obsession with photographing this boat, which we could see from the balcony of our hotel room. The colors of the water were just so beautiful, and the grapevine so iconic. Our hosts would sometimes breakfast underneath it.

This shot reminded me of a quote from The Princess Bride: "probably some local fisherman out for a cruise... at night... through eel-infested waters" (I did actually see an eel swimming through the water one day, and there were eels on some restaurant menus, but I don't think they were of the shrieking variety).

Castle

2011-06-22T02:00:00.000-04:00

This is Car Samoil's castle overlooking the city of Ohrid. If you know me at all... I had a princess fetish since I was four years old and had a story book about Maid Maleen. In early elementary school I read every copy of Cinderella I could find. In high school my friends and I dressed up in medieval costumes and had a Tolkien club. In college, my friends and I dressed up in medieval costumes and called ourselves the Court of Logres.

Somehow, as my social conscience awoke more fully in my early 20s, I started to lose interest in this romanticized notion of medieval times and stories, but there's still a part of me that enjoys it (I have, after all, watched the extended Lord of the Rings DVD trilogy at least 7 times...) If nothing else, it's exciting to imagine what life was like when this castle was built, and to try to picture what the surrounding countryside might have looked like and what this edifice meant to the people who lived there. Old stuff is cool.

A little stuck

2011-06-20T09:54:00.004-04:00

I hardly know what to post about since we've been doing so much the past few weeks - what would you like to hear more about? The kids? Our trips? Life in Tirana? My dissertation? My knitting? (Yes, I do have a project on the needles... suffering from second sock syndrome)

I will confess that I was in a bit of a doldrums since losing my wallet on the way to Vlora, but our time in Macedonia seems to have cured me - at least for the moment! Ohrid is absolutely beautiful, but at the same time being there reminded me of how much we've acclimated here in Tirana. It was disorienting to understand nothing of the language (Macedonian), and to have to keep calculating currency conversions in our heads. Every time we heard a snippet of Shqip in passing (apparently some 20% of Macedonians speak Albanian) it was like light bulbs going on - a sense of understanding and relief. In that sense it was nice to come home as well, at the end of our trip.

A Taste of Ohrid

2011-06-18T03:30:00.005-04:00

moonrise over the lake (photo taken from our hotel balcony)

castle overlooking the old part of the city - just at the bottom of the picture you can see a bit of the old amphitheater as well (behind the solar panels!)

Just a few pictures - we took about 130 so this is just a tiny sample...

Gabriel (and Valerie) loved playing on the balcony of our hotel room overlooking the lake. Look who got his hair trimmed before we left!

G took a six out of eight naps in the sling. I got a good workout! (And yes, his legs are slathered in sunscreen!)

We took a short boat ride around the shore near the old part of the city (more pictures of that coming soon, I promise)

And of course, the castle! Very, very cool.

We took a longer boat ride to Sveti Naum and wore everybody out!

space holder

2011-06-12T14:55:00.002-04:00

Some cute pics, sort of apropos of nothing.

We're leaving tomorrow morning for a family vacation at Lake Ohrid, Macedonia. It will be a new country for all four of us! I've been wanting to go there ever since I saw pictures a friend posted on Facebook about the time we were deciding where to go for Terry's sabbatical/leave.

So probably no new posts in the coming week but I'm sure lots of new pictures when we get back! I haven't even finished telling you about Vlora yet!

Well, I'll catch up someday - and if not, it's just blogging after all.

Have a great week everybody!

Offspring updates

2011-06-09T09:09:00.004-04:00

Often, out of the blue, Valerie will look at me all seriously and say, "Saw Gabriel sitting in the high chair." Oh the trauma of sharing life with a younger sibling! (I say this with love, Rosanne and Anita!) She reminds me of the old lady in Cold Comfort Farm who "saw something nasty in the woodshed" when she was a little girl and never let anyone forget it; in fact, she used this phrase to browbeat people into doing whatever she wanted them to do. We got the high chair for Gabriel but I'd say Valerie uses it about 3x as often as he does. If he so much as touches it when she's in it, screaming banshees come flying out of the woodwork. Teaching her to share is probably our parenting challenge #1 these days.

On the other hand, sometimes apropos of nothing she will run over to Gabriel and throw a toy in his lap and say "Good job sharing with Gabriel!" so something, at least, is sinking in.

Valerie is also learning to spell! We use the alphabet cards Anita gave us, or the wooden blocks, or alphabet puzzle, or old-fashioned pen and paper, and I write words as she dictates. Then I'll ask her to identify which one says "Mama," which says "sun," etc. She knows Val-Val, mama, Dada, sun, and cat. And, randomly, hole. She can pick out the letters to spell Val, mama, and sun by herself!

Gabriel is so full of laughter! We should have named him Isaac maybe! He laughs and chortles when he gets the hiccups, one time so hard that he actually spit up. Fake-sneezing is another thing he finds hilarious.

He's also getting more and more interested in doing and exploring. It's pretty hard now to distract or divert him from something he wants to play with, which makes that whole "sharing" thing that much more urgent. Electrical outlets, plugs, appliances, drains... lovely baby toys, from his perspective!

He's learned to shake his head "no" and to wave hello and goodbye as well. And he's really good at peek-a-boo - yet another completely hilarious game as well! (I guess his propensity for laughter strikes me particularly because Valerie is so serious. Even when she's having a lot of fun she often doesn't even crack a smile. Although it is possible to make her helpless with laughter, you just have to hit it pitch-perfectly. Playing catch with a beanie baby monkey and failing to catch it every time is a good one.)

I may have to cut his hair after his birthday, since it's long enough to get in his eyes and I don't think I can get away with clipping it back like I used to Valerie's.

11 months!

2011-06-07T10:55:00.003-04:00

Gabriel is 11 months old today! I feel like he is turning from a baby into a little boy right before my eyes. My brain is so foggy right now I can't even remember what I was going to write about this month. He's eating lots, getting quite heavy, and just on the verge of taking his first steps. He cut his seventh tooth while we were in Vlora. He's a total flirt - loves playing peek-a-boo with complete strangers everywhere we go and gets sad if people don't respond to him. People here think he looks very Asian. Sometimes I can't believe this gorgeous, bright-eyed little baby boy is mine. I'm so lucky to be your mama!

Vlora: Just a Taste!

2011-06-07T10:46:00.003-04:00

Here are a few pictures of Vlora to whet your appetite - truly a seaside vacation city of merit. I'll post more pictures here in the coming week and on Facebook as well, but here's a small tasting to give you an idea of what it was like.

view from our hotel balcony (above: looking right; below: looking left)

Terry had a nine-day work trip there, and we went for about four days over the weekend (Thurs-Mon). He was off Saturday and Sunday so we had a chance to explore the surrounding area a bit. Crystalline azure seas, fresh fish, and not quite the start of vacation/tourist season yet.

walking to the shore from Orikum, south of Vlora

Terry comes back tonight and then is taking a few days off to rest at home before we go on vacation next week, so more travel coming soon.

Valerie standing on a deck chair throwing rocks into the sea

Happy Anniversary!

2011-06-06T18:15:00.003-04:00

Happy Anniversary to Dot and Vern!

(I took this picture during our Christmas 2009 celebration - the gift they are opening is an ultrasound picture of Gabriel which was how we told them we were expecting again!)

home again

2011-06-06T18:09:00.003-04:00

Back from Vlora, very tired, but had to catch up on my social networks before going to bed!

I feel like a rock star not only for nursing Gabriel multiple times on the bus ride home, but also for successfully changing his poopy diaper on said bus! It *almost* makes up for losing my wallet on the bus ride out. Oh Tara, I had forgotten how completely sucky it feels to lose your wallet. I'm sorry I wasn't more sack-cloth-and-ashy when you told me about yours last week!!! I only had a debit card and my driver's license in it as far as plastic goes (I never use my credit card here so I stopped carrying it around - I don't use my license either but I always feel better having some form of ID on me), but I did have a big wad of cash. I think it fell out of my cargo pants pocket at some point during the trip, and in the maelstrom of Bjorn-backpack-bag of toys-toddler wrangling when we got off the bus, I didn't notice until we were in the taxi headed to the hotel. The driver took me back to the bus station right away but it was too late - it was gone, gone, gone.

Anyway, we did have a good time in Vlorë, of the beach variety, and I'll post some pictures soon. It still feels good to be home. The kids are wiped out and sleeping hard right now. I should be too!

Little Bits of Random

2011-05-31T15:59:00.003-04:00

So it's been awfully quiet around here - as quiet as it gets with a 3-year-old Shrieking Eel in residence, that is! Anita et al left on Monday, and Terry did too - he's in Vlorë for 10 days. We'll be joining him later this week. I decided the kids and I should stay in Tirana for a few days to relax at home before another trip. So far I think I made the right decision.

Gabriel is standing unsupported for longer and longer periods of time! He's up to about 30 seconds, I think. It's very exciting! The first day he really stood on his own was May 29, Sunday, in Durrës.

Valerie has about 20-30 angry red welts on her arms and feet from mosquito bites. Gabriel only got two! One on his hand and one on his forehead, and neither reacted the way Valerie's have - dime-sized red circles. She was looking at them yesterday and remarked "Got red spots on arms."

I introduced a new story into our repertoire - the Three Little Pigs. It totally cracks me up every time I say the iconic line, "not by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin," Valerie responds "Pigs not go buy hair!" (It's very clear to me that she means BUY because "go buy" is the phrase she always uses for shopping.) She laughs too, not sure if it's because I'm laughing or because the idea of buying hair is funny to her!

I've started spelling out words very intentionally with her, using some alphabet cards Anita gave us. I figured she knows the alphabet backwards and forwards (quite literally)* so she is perfectly capable of memorizing how to spell her own name. Mostly I'm focusing on Val, Mama, Dada, Babi (she calls Terry Babi often), and some other simple words (dog, cat, sun, etc.). It's fun!

Anita also brought her a couple jigsaw puzzles and she's getting quite good at putting them together! They are 25 pieces and labeled for ages 3-7. One is of dinosaurs and one of balls and other sports gear (like baseball bat and glove, etc.). She refers to some of the pieces as "cats" and some as "dogs," depending on their shape, and to the wavy line of the puzzle's edge as a "river." When a "cat" piece (an edge piece with one bump, opposite the flat side) goes along the top edge, she says "cat hanging upside down."

And not to ignore little G - he's getting increasingly vocal and will "chatter" on and on about only he knows what! When he's very interested in or curious about something he will stare at it and say "Ta! Ta!" He calls me "Mama" and makes a "bababababa" sound with his fist against his open mouth. I should probably start working on baby sign language with him soon. I can't believe we are one month and one week away from his FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!!

-----

*I've seen her stack the cards from Z to A, in the correct order, starting with the Z on the bottom and working backwards through the alphabet to A. I've also seen her correctly name letters through a glass window, painted on the other side, that were backwards and lower-case!

Durrës

2011-05-29T14:30:00.006-04:00

We just got back from Durrës - lovely weekend at a little family-run hotel (where we visited before), actually in a suburb of the city called Golem, just a stone's throw from the Adriatic Sea.

It was idyllic. The sun and sand completely wore out my little ones (and my big one too) who are all sleeping at the moment! Can't wait to go back!

Anita, David, Solana, and Lotus leave tomorrow morning. This week has flown by! There is so much more I wanted to show them and do together. They'll just have to come back next year, right guys?

Dajti Again

2011-05-26T12:24:00.003-04:00

Today we went to Dajt with the Lukawitskis - Terry was at work, though, and I decided to leave Gabriel with Shpresa so he could stay on schedule and I could be less stressed, with only one child to wrangle.

The rain held off until we were eating lunch in the restaurant, and then it let up for us to walk back to the cable car for the return trip, during which we outran it! It was HOT back in the city but then the rain caught up with us again for a little refreshment.

The kids enjoyed the cable car trip SO much, that alone would have made the trip worth it! But then there were horsie rides, and a delicious lunch, and play time at the playground as well! Valerie missed her nap completely so hopefully will sleep a long time tonight.

Further dispatches as events unfold!

Lukawitskis in Tirana!

2011-05-25T07:58:00.003-04:00

Prepare for an overload of cuteness!

Lotus and Gabriel exploring at the hotel

Gabriel has been SO EXCITED to meet his cousins again!

Valerie has been taking it all in stride better than I expected - I think she remembers them!

We've been having real summer weather here in Tirana - at least, the warmed I've experienced so far, although I've been getting warnings about August... David's hay fever has been bothering him, and the time difference has thrown Lotus a little out of whack, but other than that we've been having a great time so far. Yesterday we spent some time with the kids playing at the hotel where the Lukawitskis are staying, then came over to the J/Phantzis' for lunch and afternoon naps. After naps we all went to the "twisty slide park" for a late-afternoon excursion, where Solana made friends with some Albanian girls who wanted to practice their English!

Today we went to the "Big Park" near the lake for a picnic lunch, where Solana enjoyed exploring the "nature trails" through the grass and Valerie enjoyed poking the water with a stick - until her shoes got muddy.

Solana and Lotus have been a big hit with the the ladies in the various shops we went to yesterday - they scored two chocolate bars, a baked tart, strawberries, and cherries!

We're not sure exactly what we're going to do for the next few days but options include another visit to Mt. Dajt, a trip to the beach at Durrës, and hanging out at our apartment here in the city.

Family!!!!

2011-05-23T08:54:00.001-04:00

My sister and her family are currently en route to Albania! I am beyond excited. More news and photos after they arrive :-)

Kruja

2011-05-23T08:32:00.005-04:00

On Saturday, we did a little family excursion to Krujë (or Kruja, if it's the subject of the sentence) and saw the famous Skenderbeg castle. (Skenderbeg is the dude on the horse - the national hero of Albania.)

We're slowly figuring out how to do this kind of thing while respecting the needs of our two little ones. We packed lots of food and water for them along with the usual extra diapers and changes of clothes. We left immediately after Gabriel's morning nap, and took a bus to catch a van ride ($2 a seat). Valerie napped the whole way out, which wasn't really in our plan but it was fine.

In retrospect, I wish we'd all worn sunscreen, but that's probably the only thing I'd do differently. For myself, I would have liked to have explored the ruins more but it was so hot and bright out in the sun that I didn't think we should. So when we got there, at around 11:30 a.m., we went to a cafe for snacks and drinks before walking over to the castle and visiting the museum on the site.

After that we met up with some American friends - three young guys, two are working for WV (one is a former student of Terry's) - for lunch at a nearby restaurant. At that point, around 1 p.m., Gabriel started getting very tired and fussy but he wouldn't go to sleep on my lap or in the Bjorn. Finally when we got on a van for the return trip, at around 2 p.m., he fell asleep nursing and Valerie fell asleep on Terry's lap. So they got short naps (the drive back to Tiranë is less than an hour), but short is better than none.

Then we hopped on a city bus back to our street. We got home around 4 p.m. and felt exhausted, but I think it's safe to say a good time was had by all. Like our last excursion (to Dajt), it took a full day and 2 nights for the kids to recover their energy. Long naps are great!

(Phil and Mel have some great pictures from their trip a week or two before ours, and you can always check Wikipedia for more history on Krujë and Skenderbeg.)

Happy Birthday, Dad!

2011-05-21T14:27:00.001-04:00

As they say in Albania - "Edhe një qind!" (and 100 more!)

Love you and miss you - hope you are enjoying life today!

Elbasan: The Village

2011-05-20T03:00:00.000-04:00

This is a post I've been sitting on for months!

In early March we went to Elbasan, a city not too far from Tirana. One day while we were there, the kids and I went with Terry and his evaluation team to visit a nearby fshati, or village. Neither of the village photos on this page is of the actual place we visited; they're what I imagined it would be like!

I was picturing something truly remote, with lots of sheep and olive trees, but it was really more like a suburb of Elbasan, literally 10 minutes' drive from the WV office. Our destination was a school where the team met with project administrators and sponsored children. (The only pictures I actually took were of the kids who mobbed us in the schoolyard but I don't feel comfortable posting pictures of them here since they're not my kids.)

While the interviews were taking place, Valerie cuddled on Daddy's lap in the principal's office and I went out with Gabriel for a little walk. We made it about two blocks on a dirt road before a light drizzle drove us into a little shop right next to the school. There was a woman there holding a toddler and talking with the proprietress, and I waited while scanning the shelves for something to buy Valerie for a snack. But they were very curious about me and gushed over Gabriel, so we actually got to chatting. Pretty soon Gabriel fell asleep, and the shop-owner urged me to come into her house and lay him down. I looked out the side door where she gestured, and felt a bit dubious as all I could see was part of a roof and wall that looked like a shack, but after the third invite I agreed, and her husband came to walk me over to their home.

As we walked out the door I was hit with the strong smell of sheep - and realized oh! that's not their house, it's a stable! Sure enough, we walked past the shed and up a stone walkway to a lovely villa with a wide front porch shaded by a grapevine. Just inside was a highly decorated living room with lots of comfortable furniture. I sat on the couch and visited with the husband for a good hour - all in Shqip! It helped a lot that he'd lived in Italy for five years and had a meta-linguistic awareness of how to talk to somebody who is just learning the language: slow, repetitive, and with lots of hand gestures.

I just let Gabriel sleep in the bjorn during the visit, and after a while Terry called me on my cell and said the were getting ready to leave. So I took my leave and dashed off feeling more like myself than I have in a long time... it was such a gift to be able to connect with some ordinary people, across gaps of language and culture, but finding common ground and making a connection through conversation, human beings all.

Valerie's birthday

2011-05-18T03:25:00.000-04:00

In her own words:

"Got on red cable car, cable car moving, doors shut, can't fall out!"

"Saw horsies at the top! Hold on tight, don't let go!

Dada right there. Man pulled rope on horsy's nose. Went fast!"

"Had a little picnic in the grass"

"After got off, went home. Had a little party, had cake, got butterfly card. Got new toy*"

"Ready for cake!** Blow out candle!"

*(Not actually a new toy - recycled hand-me-down brought from the US and kept hidden until now. She's been playing with it non-stop!)

**(And no, I didn't make the cake, we bought it at the bakery across the street. And the only candles Terry could find at the store were zeros...)

Hm....

2011-05-17T07:35:00.001-04:00

I'm working on posting some pictures of Valerie's birthday, but Blogger seems to be having issues. It says they're posted but they're not showing up. So... I'll try again later.

We had a good day, took the kids to Mt. Dajti for a picnic and wore them completely out! They spent most of Monday recovering as well! It was a good time though, and worth it.

It's been raining yesterday and today so just as glad we went Sunday.

More later when I can get the photos up.

My Girl

2011-05-15T15:00:00.000-04:00

"Val-Val so much fun!"

Phantzi Little Yarns

Mom!

Happy Birthday Rosanne!

Bundled

Ouch

I'm back!

2011: Year in Review

My Kids Are So Cute

Christmas 2011

Gabriel says "no" - and other things!

"Wooshawoo!"

Interim

Snapshots of a Phantzi life

Addendum

Postcards from Armenia

from last week

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday

photo post

Year

Independence

Privilege

and yet more little bits

Thankful

funny little things

Little bits

Food for thought

Gabe

Truth & Reconciliation

Rite of Passage

Just Cute

Happy Birthday P!

SAHMing

Take the Yellow Train to Obama Nation

Holiday

Our Potty Party

Love U, Miss U

more pictures

Fighting the Forces of Darkness... One Committee Meeting at a Time

Seasons

Albanian wedding

album

O Sa Bukur! (Oh how beautiful!)

*Melt*

Guest Blog Post!

One Year in Albania!

Travelogue: the cute kids post

Travelogue, part II

Travelogue, part I

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Happy Birthdays!

Out of Office Notice

short

PT

spending a lot of time in the bathroom lately...

little pieces of random

Dizzy!

Cute babies

kid stuff

buy local

Barnyard Dance!

food and foreigners

Food

Sa i madh?

Go See Dada

blurb

Peacocks!

Passport

Proof of my domesticity

Take a hike...

Before I forget...

Video of Gabriel Walking!

The View From Our Balcony

One Year Old!

Time Lapse

Walking!

I could get addicted to this...

Testing: Video

Little Updates

Boats

Melt