Thoughtful

Here we are in early October. Today is the deadline for a small grant that I was eligible to apply for, but I wasn't paying attention and missed the e-mail announcement when I still had time to apply. I maybe could have pulled it off, but for one reason and then another I procrastinated and then it became too late.

I'm frustrated with myself - it was a small amount of money, and Terry didn't think it was worth the effort of applying for it, but I still feel like I should have. I enjoy writing, and I'm good at it, but it seems like the logistical details of the grant process trip me up every time. I'm not particularly good at multi-tasking (although I've been hearing a lot on NPR that recent research shows nobody really is, they just think they are), which was one reason I left my last two jobs. Juggling a lot of little details is also what I find most difficult about parenting.

It's a beautiful fall day today, and I would love to stare out the window and daydream all morning. But I'm paying someone else to mother my child so I can do my academic work.