House of Sick

I haven't been posting much because since last weekend either Gabe or Valerie or both has/have been sick. Seems like a virus kind of thing has been going around, causing tummy troubles; Gabe started out with stomach cramps last Friday evening (just as we were on our way out the door to a weekend workshop outside of town). He ended up missing several days of school last week, and now it is V's turn. Terry has been traveling, and in the midst of all of this we celebrated V's birthday with the requisite cake(s) which I'm sure didn't help matters much. Last night we finally managed to all sleep soundly and well all through the night, without anyone throwing up or having explosive bowel movements in the middle of the night (always preceded by groaning and tossing and turning for an hour or more...) So I'm pretty tired. Fortunately work hasn't been too much, although we did have five interns arrive (on four different days), and then two of them got sick as well.

It's all part of life. I'm really thankful for the many helpful people around me, especially on our team. It makes all the difference in the world.

Trip!

No photos yet... but I just got back from a trip to the Atlantic (or Caribbean) coast of Colombia, visiting one of our partner organizations and several MCC volunteers placed there. Miraculously, I feel more rested upon returning than I did before I left! Part of that is due to the fact that I ate something that disagreed with me - rather violently - on my second day, and couldn't keep anything down, not even water. I know that doesn't sound particularly restful - but my hosts became concerned enough that I was actually urged to lie in a hammock and nap at every opportunity. Plus, I had a double bed all to myself for three nights... try co-sleeping with a nursing toddler for a few years, and then you will know exactly how bountifully restful sleeping alone can be! So despite the heat, despite long meetings and despite bumpy road trips to visit projects in the rural communities, I returned to our home in Bogota feeling amazingly rested and restored.

About ten years ago, paramilitaries devastated this area of Colombia, displacing thousands of people, mostly farmers of Afro-Caribbean descent. Slowly now people are returning to the land and trying to re-establish community. Personal trauma, issues over land titles, and basic agricultural livelihoods are all struggles these internally displaced people are working to overcome.

Many aspects of the context on the coast reminded me of my childhood in the Peruvian Amazon - the heat, the parrots flying overhead, the tropical fruits - but in other aspects it's an entirely different context. Different lingo, different music, different foods and ways of being. Our first month in Colombia has been exhausting - dizzying, even. I feel like right now things might be slowing down enough to catch a breath.

The Swing of Things

Can I just say, jet lag SUCKS. I don't think I felt quite right in my body until Saturday, our 7th day since getting back, and I woke up with a complete sense of well-being from head to toe. I almost didn't realize how weird I felt until the feeling dissipated.

Valerie, though, is still struggling to get back into her rhythm. During our second week in the US she dropped her afternoon nap completely, and slept soundly and well every night. But coming back here, working through jet lag, she's been napping every afternoon and then waking during the night for at least 4 hours. So starting on the weekend we've been trying to keep her awake all afternoon. At MCC it was easy, we'd just take her to the Toy Room and she'd be happy as a clam (where did that saying come from, I wonder? Has anyone ever actually measured the happiness of clams? How would you tell?) Here it's such a deeply ingrained part of her routine to go to bed when Gabriel does (especially when Shpresa is here) that it's been hard to create a new routine. 

Yesterday, however was a triumph! Shpresa took both kids - with help from her boys, whom my kids adore - to a pool nearby where they played from like 11 a.m. to 6 p.m.! She packed a picnic lunch and snacks and some toys and off they went. They staggered in just before supper - Valerie took 2 steps into the apartment and threw herself on the floor waiting for someone to take her shoes off for her - Gabriel stumbled over to me holding up his arms and crying "Gak gak! Gak gak!" - neither of them took a nap (G for the 3rd day straight, but he did take one today then). They had so much fun. SO much fun. Valerie was telling me all about the dolphin fountains and elephant slide. It's a little pricey for them to go every day but I think at least once or twice a week for the rest of the summer would be good! 

They slept so well and so long last night, I wish they could go every day. And I got so much work done, too. with the apartment to myself all day! I missed the little boogers, though. 

(Despite what the conjunction of text and photo implies, I didn't knit at all yesterday - this is a sock I knit during the sessions in Akron - a gift for a friend here who's about to have a baby. I'm making matching baby socks too.)

Bug

Playing tractors with second-cousin H. at Aunt Gin's house!

This is Gabriel's birthday week! Wow! Two years have gone by so fast. But I should save some mushy-mama-ness for the actual birthday post.

I just love this little guy so much.

A couple stories - one afternoon in Akron, he woke up from his nap, sat up, looked at me in that very serious sleep-dazed way one has just after waking, thumped on his chest and said "Bug! Bug!" Pause. Look around. Think. Then looked at me again and averred, "Bug!"

Since watching Kung Fu Panda, Valerie named us all after characters in the movie: Gabriel is the Bug (Mantis), I'm the Bird (Crane), Terry is the Turtle (Tortoise) and she named herself Fox (really a red panda, but he looks kind of like a fox). It was funny to me that he has embraced his nickname and alter ego. Although he will refer to himself as "Gabe" or "Gabe-uh!" he most of the time now corrects me when I call him that and says very firmly, "Bug."

He's talking a ton these days, mostly in English although he knows a lot of words and phrases in Albanian too. And, like his sister, still uses the Spanish word for water - agua.

Coming back from the US, we had a layover in Rome, and on the concourse by our gate there was a little cafe with a play area for kids. Genius! Every concourse in every airport in the world should have one of these. Coffee and a play area. It was so good for the kids to be able to run around like maniacs after enduring 9 hours confined to their seats (or the near vicinity thereof). They were so sleep-deprived and manic, but it was so good for them. There was a little girl there whose mom told me was about 2.5, but much closer in size to V than to G. Valerie called her "the mouse" as they chased each other around. At one point the girl came over to our table and took a drink from Valerie's cup. Her parents immediately jumped up saying "no no no no!" G was startled, then looked at me and very earnestly and seriously said "Mouse! Agua! Val-Val!" Pause. "Da-da Noooooo!"

I fear he may be dropping his afternoon nap already (second day in a row today). "Fear" because the mid-day lull is so nice. But if he sleeps better at night as a consequence, I won't complain too much.

Little Updates

wrapping monkey in his towel post play-bath

Anyone know how to get a 3-year-old to take a nap already????

We've been doing a new thing this week; setting a timer at bedtime and naptime. I lie down with her until the timer goes off, then I leave the room. It's working great at bedtime - instead of fighting sleep and trying to play with me, she actually lies down and puts herself to sleep, like she's trying to fall asleep before the timer goes off (I set it for 20 minutes, though I plan to cut back over time). Naptime is another story. Right now she has been in bed for an hour and a half and is still shouting intermittently. I went in twice to check on her in case she had a diaper issue going on but she was fine. Just not SLEEPING.

And I reeeeeally wanted a nap, myself, today.

Oh well.

Gabriel's been up to some cute new things; he is an enthusiastic mimic and has started imitating hand motions with little songs - adorable! Also, mooing when he holds a toy cow. He really wants to feed himself with a spoon but it's hit-or-miss whether he'll actually get any food into his mouth. He also likes putting the spoon in MY mouth!

We've been trying out our Ergo since I think he's outgrown the Bjorn - he loves the Ergo! I think it's a lot more comfortable for both of us! I haven't figured out yet, however, how to get him on and off my back without help. So when I'm on my own I still use the ring sling.

Valerie and Gabriel have been playing together more which is awesome. They have crawling races down the hallway which both of them find hugely hilarious, laughing all the way. Valerie is learning to touch him gently, and likes to play with his feet and touch his hair.

She's been living in a world of imagination lately - clothespins tossed onto a blanket become beans growing in a jar; her stuffed animals get pretend baths, then the "tub" (any random object will do - a shoebox, a basket, a plastic bowl, a shoe) turns into a cable car, a boat, monkey bars at the playground...

I've night weaned Gabriel this week too, and while he still wakes up two or three times at night, I only give him water and then a quick cuddle and he's back to sleep again with no tears. I wonder what it will take, though, for him to sleep through the night? I'm just don't like not checking on him at all when he wakes up at night, not knowing if he might be cold, or hot, or thirsty, or poopy. So a little drink and a little cuddle it is (exactly one verse of "Like A River Glorious" in my arms, then into the crib). The exception is when he wakes up at around 5:00 a.m. (which is every single morning, no joke). Then I let him sort of grunt and fuss because usually he doesn't actually cry, until he goes back to sleep until 6 or 7. The only problem is that it's light out by that time and I have a hard time falling back asleep myself then.

We've had cooler temperatures this week which as been nice. I've heard August is really really hot so we'll see how we fare with that!

Tired

Sorry I haven't posted much this week. The EU went off Daylight Savings Time last Sunday, and consequently Valerie's been waking up at 5 a.m. all week... compounded with Gabriel's fondness for night waking (every 2 hours until 3 or 4 a.m. and then hourly... or more, depending how gassy he is) plus Terry's insomnia - it's been kind of a rough week. But sunny! So thankful for that.

Sleep Sagas

You know it wouldn't be a Phantzi blog without ongoing sleep drama.

First the good news:

• For the most part, once over jet lag Valerie has been sleeping through the night since we got here.
• She's been going down for naps really well for me, too (again with the occasional exception) - between 12:30 and 1, I'll tell her it's time for her nap. She'll say "A" (which is Valerese for "nap," because we traditionally sing the ABCs as a lullaby) and point to her room. We go in, I change her diaper, she gets into bed and pulls a little blankie over her lap. I give her a book, tell her "read your book and then lie down for your nap" and within half an hour (sometimes almost instantly) she's asleep.

I can't tell you how miraculous these two items feel to me.

On the flip side, unfortunately, she's regressed a bit in two areas:

• She often fights going to bed - not the bedtime routine itself, but the end of the routine, where she's supposed to go to sleep. She usually wants one of us to stay with her until she's, if not actually asleep, then very close to it. I can understand this as she's still adjusting to this new environment, and the turning of day into night can feel like a very vulnerable time. So we're going along with it for now.
• She's been waking up waaaay too early, at least according to us - this morning it was before 6 a.m. - not sure what's waking her up - street noise? cold? - but boy would we love to sleep in a little longer. Of course, this probably contributes directly to the ease of naptime which I'm not really willing to give up either!

Then there's sweet Gabriel.

• Although he was the first to adjust to the time zone change, he soon after started this new thing where he gets really, really fussy just before he goes to sleep, both bedtime and naptime, but bedtime is worse.
• The only thing that calms him is vigorous rocking in my arms, for at least 20 minutes.
• I mean vigorous - I always have to stretch out my arms, legs, and back afterwards!
• I keep trying to lay him down still awake so he can learn to go to sleep on his own, but even if he's calm in my arms, the second his bottom touches his bed he starts screeching instantly.
• So I pick him up again.
• Finally he falls asleep basically in my arms.
• I don't feel like CIO is an option because sound carries so much in this apartment, I think it would really upset Valerie.

And then there's the night waking. Most of the time, he sleeps 4-5 hours straight at first, then wakes up to nurse. After that it's anybody's guess - every 2 hours, every hour, or more - and he seems gassy and uncomfortable. Two nights ago he went down at 9, woke up at 11, and then 1, and then every hour until the sun came up. I was beyond exhausted that day.

So I've cut out a bunch of stuff from my diet again - most sadly the Nutella and olives, but also eggs, onions, and anything gassy like broccoli or beans - I've been off dairy pretty much since he was born - and last night (24 hours after the purge) he slept 6.5 hours straight! And then 3 more! Heavenly! I also started using the gas drops (simethicone) again just for kicks.

Another change we made is where I put him down. I've been putting him to sleep in his bucket carseat in our room because it's dark and quiet at bedtime, but it seemed like he'd get restless when Terry and I came to bed an hour or two later, so then I'd move him into the stroller set up in reclining mode the living room - also so Terry wouldn't be disturbed by his noise. Last night I put Gabe to sleep directly in the stroller. Maybe that helped. It would be nice if he had his own room, but alas this is a 2-br apartment and I'm so not enthused by the idea of moving again...

And then there's naps... thankfully he goes down for naps a lot easier than for the night. They're just short. He takes a long nap in the Bjorn when we're out for our morning walk, but otherwise his naps are usually less than an hour. I suspect it's because he hasn't learned to put himself back to sleep, since he often seems to still be tired and grumpy when he wakes up. When Valerie was this age, I would nurse her down to sleep on our bed and then when she stirred and seemed to be waking up, I'd go back in and nurse her to sleep again, usually twice within a single long nap. Because of Gabriel's tendency to swallow a lot of air while nursing, I don't have this option with him (and in the long term it was not such a great practice with Valerie either). So I'm not sure what to do about lengthening his naps.

One of my biggest triage challenges - and this is where I hope Shpressa will be able to help me - is keeping Valerie happy while I'm putting Gabriel down in the other room - so this is mostly when I bring out the DVD player. Gabe is so good with other people, I'm hoping she can put him down while I stay with Valerie. Ne do te shohim (we shall see).

Choose your own adventure

Both kids sleeping.

Nap, or blog?

Nap.

Sorry faithful readers!

First days in Albania

Hello from Tirana! It's our 4th day here, if you count the day we arrived, and our first cloudy day.

Here are some first impressions in bullet points, starting with the trip:

• Board books and beanie babies are really heavy.
• I will never again mock the voice in US airports that announces "the moving walkway, is ending. The moving walkway, is ending." My knees still hurt!
• International travel with a 2-month old? Piece of cake. International travel with a 2-year-old? Piece of headache!
• Oh - I guess there was that spit-up issue. And that other time too. Spit-up being the biggest issue for Gabe and me.

First impressions of Albania/Tirana:

• The mountains are really close to the ocean! And they're really big!
• The outskirts of the city remind me of Cusco - tile roofs, green fields, same colors of paint
• It's more subtropical than I expected or pictured in my mind - palm trees and oleander shrubs line the avenue coming in from the airport.
• Big billboards, none of which I can read
• Everyone seems to be really thin
• Laundry hanging out from apartment block windows
• Old and shabby next to new and shiny - lots of building projects going up
• As Terry put it, the fashion moment here seems to be the "shrink-wrapped" look
• Feels like a small city

We're still recovering from jet lag; Gabe has adapted the most (perhaps because he sleeps so much anyway!) and since I'm more or less on his schedule, I'm getting there too. Valerie is completely off kilter, and since Terry is doing the lion's share of night parenting for her, he's pretty messed up too. Our first night here V. slept SEVENTEEN HOURS. She was completely exhausted after not sleeping much at all on the airplane, and then being way too stimulated during our layover in Munich to nap at all. She conked out on the short flight to Tirana abut then was awake the rest of the afternoon until she went down kicking and screaming at 7:30 p.m. She woke up a few times asking for water (in fact, she wanted to sleep clutching her water bottle) but didn't get up until 1 p.m. the next day. Gabriel, for his part, was up EVERY HOUR on the hour wanting to nurse - I think he might have been dehydrated, since he only nursed twice on the 8-hour flight.

The second night was a different story - down at 11:30, up at 1:00 a.m., awake until 5 a.m., then we got her up around noon.

The third night was a little more successful - down at 9:30, and still sleeping now at 10:30 a.m.

There have been no naps, unless you consider the first part of the second night a "nap" (it would have been roughly naptime in the US - subtract 6 hours).

Right now Terry and Valerie are both still asleep and I'm just hanging out with the G-man.

Thursday and Friday after everyone was up and had eaten and dressed, we all went out for a walk through the city. Given our late rising that was around 3 or 4 p.m.! The first day we cruised around looking for parks and found a little playground nearby where Valerie had fun going down the twisty slide, swinging, and riding a little horse on a spring (you know what I mean?) She did NOT want to leave so we consoled her with potato chips, and she fell asleep in the stroller on the way home.

Aside: speaking of strollers, I've seen a lot of toddlers in strollers out and about but it wasn't until late Friday afternoon that I spotted actual babies - although I really had to peer to see them since they were so cocooned in their strollers - swathed in blankets and then draped in gauze curtains. Gabe's bare legs dangling from the Baby Bjorn have garnered a lot of attention!

Our walk yesterday took us to the World Vision office where Valerie had fun going up and down stairs and drumming on big plastic jugs of water. She wasn't sure what to do with all the attention she was getting from the staff so she mostly chewed on Daddy's shirt (a not-so-charming new habit under stress - his shoulder is a mass of welts and bruises from the trip) and said "NIEW!" ("No," in Valerese). Then we went to the playground. There were a lot of other kids there so she was ok with leaving when we decided it was time to go.

The city reminds me in some ways of parts of Lima, with wide shady avenues and noisy traffic. Lots of pedestrians. Old communist-era buildings are lined on the ground floor with shiny new shops selling just about anything you can think of - lots of clothes, shoes, stuff like that. On nearly every corner, it seems, someone is crouched over a small grill roasting ears of corn - Terry said they weren't there when he came in June, so it must be a seasonal thing. The building we are in is a 10-story apartment building, I guess it's pretty new. There are two crooked little alleys you can take - just wide enough for a car - to the main street in either direction. One of them takes you past a magnificent fruit stand which is open til well after dark, selling all manner of fresh fruit and vegetables. Just next to it is a tall, narrow grocery store where we've been getting our staples and things for the apartment (although it came fully furnished even with bed linens and towels, dishes and tea, there was no toilet paper or salt).

We've been eating crusty bread, fresh tomatoes that taste like they were picked ripe, olives, cheese -

oops, Valerie is up - more later!

File this under "awesome"

Gabriel slept 7 hours straight last night !!!

Teeth

I think Valerie must be cutting her 2 year molars, for real this time. She's been sucking on her fingers constantly the past few days and last night was awake for 3+ hours (from 2 a.m. til well after 5) sucking on a pacifier and crying off and on. Poor thing!

Sleep update

Soooo.... I'm almost nervous to jinx it, but I right now we're in a good place with the sleep thing. THANKFULLY. We're at the point where I now go to bed expecting V. to sleep through the night...!

In April, while T. was away, I held my breath and took the plunge of leaving the room before she was asleep... and it worked! I was astonished that she didn't cry at all, and at most I only need to go in maximum 2x before she goes to sleep on her own. This was... huge. I was so scared to try it, remembering how much it DIDN'T work last year - at least not well. Five months of CIO and she cried every. single. night. But I guess now she was ready!

Then almost by accident I discovered last month that she was able to sleep through the night when she was in the room alone by herself. After Terry left for Albania, before my parents got here, I had my sitter stay with us overnight to help with the night duty. The 2 nights Rachel slept in the next room, V. didn't wake up. The 3 nights Rachel slept in the room with her, she woke up. So ever since then we've let her sleep by herself... and the ratio of night waking to not reversed itself - instead of sleeping through the night 20% of the time, it flipped to 80% of the time - and as of today, she's gone a full week without night waking. WOW.....

We'll see how long it lasts; I'm kind of assuming that with Terry coming back, then the baby being born, my folks leaving, etc. etc., we still have a long road ahead of us. But for now it's an enormous blessing that she's sleeping well at night.

(Sadly, I still have insomnia from time to time - plus having to get up to pee every 2 hours - but it could be, and has been, so much worse.)

Just for the record...

I love rainy days, and I LOVE having my own office away from home... one small compensation for Terry being away is I have use of his office space.

And V. slept 10.5 hours straight last night! So why am I so groggy that I left my wallet at the coffee shop this morning???

Single Mom-ing Begins

Terry is out of the country for the next 3 weeks, and I'm relaxing in the support network of friends and family. It's been interesting to see V. handling the change. For a week leading up to his departure, we let her know he was going to be gone for a while. I think this actually made her kind of anxious because, being not-yet-two, she doesn't have a very clear sense of time, so she wasn't sure when he was going to be going away. Once he actually left, she seemed a lot more settled, although Sunday morning she was certainly in a MOOD during the time when we normally hang out with Daddy, and he wasn't there - seemed sad and out of sorts.

The main place this anxiety (as I'm diagnosing it) showed up was, of course, her sleep. Terry's last 2 nights here were awful. She resisted bedtime for two hours +, then did her night-waking thing for 2+ more hours and slept in til late. But the first night he was gone, she went down more easily (just 1 hour) though she still did a 2.5-hour waking. The second night, last night, she actually slept straight through! I was ECSTATIC. Even though she woke up for the day at 5:30 a.m., I'd gladly take that anytime over being up with her from 2:00-4:30 a.m. or whatever ungodly hour she chooses.

It has also helped me to hear from her doctor that she's not being willful when she kicks her feet and slaps her hand against the mattress in the middle of the night; she's trying to soothe herself back to sleep and cope with her feelings of insecurity. So instead of getting mad at her I'm able to just be there with her and try to soothe her as well as I can. Rubbing her feet seems to help A LOT, and a friend who does reflexology suggested some pressure points that stimulate seratonin. We've also found that gently massaging her hands calms her down, and I've heard that this specifically helps alleviate negative emotions like anger and anxiety/stress.

Our one untoward event so far was Saturday night; she hadn't eaten much lunch and I think she was pretty hungry at dinnertime. I made some of her favorite foods - rice and beans with shredded cheese, and green beans. The problem was, she ate too fast and didn't stop to chew her green beans, which caused her to gag, which caused her to throw up a little, which then led to throwing up everything she'd eaten since her nap. :-( We got cleaned up though, with a minimum of fuss (I was very proud of myself for staying calm and containing the mess pretty well). After I got her into her clean jammies she ate a bowl of applesauce and some plain white rice with some milk, with no problems. Poor little thing.

Other than that it's been pretty smooth sailing. It's been cold but sunny out and she just loves running around in the yard, in the flower beds, in the neighbor's sandbox. It's great to see her so happy.

23 Months, 2-year check-up

Yesterday Valerie had her 2-year check-up, which we did a month early because we had questions about her sleep issues. Rather than have an extra appointment, we combined the two.

First, the stats:

25 lbs

33 inches

50th percentile

We were surprised that they didn't measure any change in height from our last appointment 5 months ago, because she's been outgrowing her pants and is also able to reach things she couldn't reach before (doorknobs, stuff on top of the table). We were also surprised she hasn't gained more weight - only 1.2 lbs - because she really feels heavier. Maybe our house is shrinking and our arms are getting weaker!

As for the sleep, basically the doctor said that it's a phase she's going through, that she'll eventually outgrow... in a couple of YEARS. Probably. Oh Dear. Their advice to parents is to do whatever is easiest for getting her to sleep, try introducing or encouraging a comfort object (she's more or less abandoned the toothbrushes in favor of kicking her feet against the mattress, which is very annoying to us), and just be as consistent as possible with not only the bedtime routine but her daily routine as well. Sleep disturbances are linked to feelings of insecurity, and routine and ritual help her feel secure in knowing exactly what is going to

happen next (of course this is also constantly tested by her growing desire to be in control).

And he said we're probably in for a real storm when baby brother comes along, not

to mention moving to Albania... He said it will be important for Dad to spend a lot of time with her around the time of the birth, she'll like that.

Finally, we're going to cut back on her screen time. I added up that she's been watching 2-3 hours of Elmo a day most days - a little bit with the sitter, a little bit with us, a little bit with Grammy - it adds up. The recommendation is maximum 30 minutes a day. Boy she's not going to like this...!

In good news, she's been napping pretty well and really enjoying playing outside. Here are some pictures of her in front of our house - I'm not sure if she's smelling or kissing the flowers but it's pretty adorable either way!

Wake To Sleep

For three weeks since my trip to Ithaca, V's been waking up at night. Not every night, but probably 2 out of 3. After a while I figured out the pattern: she'd sleep six hours, wake for about two, then sleep about 3 more. The nights when she did sleep straight through it would be for 11 hours straight - like she was making up for lost time.

So Terry remembered the old "wake to sleep" trick that we learned from Dr. Sears last year for habitual night waking: anticipate the night waking by an hour - gently wake your child up an hour before their habitual time (so this really only works if your kid is waking up at about the same time every night), then put them back to bed. Do this 3-4 nights in a row.

Well it worked before, and it looks like it's working again! We've done it two nights running - when she falls asleep, we set the alarm for 4.5 hours from that point. When it rings, Terry gently picks her up, talks to her quietly, changes her diaper, gives her a drink of water, and puts her back in bed. So far she's gone back to sleep and completed her typical 9.5-10 hours without a peep.

22

Valerie is 22 months old today!
(And little brother is 22 weeks!)
I give you, her hat tricks.












At some point this past month Valerie decided that she HAD to have a hat on her head at all times, 24/7. Fortunately I have a lot of knitted hats lying around - some I made for myself - and she doesn't seem to particularly care which one she wears as long as there is something on her head. She learned how to put them on by herself and it's just very cute to see her doing so.

The down side is that when she's very tired and trying to go to sleep, she can't seem to get the hat adjusted to her liking, and it goes something like this: Lie down. Hat gets crooked. Sit up, take hat off, put hat on, lie down. Hat gets crooked. Sit up, take hat off, put hat on, lie down. Saturday night she did this for AN HOUR AND A HALF. Finally we took all the hats away. She cried and cried like her heart was breaking, desperately signing "hat hat hat hat." At that point I was so tired and frustrated I started to cry too! The minute she heard me, she stopped - lay down, and fell instantly asleep.

I'm not sure if we're going to take the hats away permanently at some point - especially as the weather gets warmer - sometimes she wakes up from her nap with her head all sweaty from the warm wool - we'll see how it goes over the next few days.

Because I'm a nerd

I had to go back and fix the line breaks in the "Halfway Down the Stairs" poem (observant or, more likely, obsessive readers may also notice that I at one point changed it to "Up", having mis-remembered the words, and then changed it back to "Down").

Here's a fun link to the Muppets' version of this poem set to music - very sweet!

***

And some random Valerie-isms - she has a new sign but I can't figure out what it means: she brushes the fingertips of one hand against her face, almost like pulling something from her nose/mouth/chin area. I'm still trying to figure that one out. It's similar to the sign for "sleep" but that's not how she's using it.

She also has invented a word, "Hmo," which Terry claims is a rude word in Albanian (but it's not actually), which I figured out means "where is it?" or, more succinctly in Spanish, "dónde?"

Another onomatopoeic word she's come up with is "Tlha," with a sort of aspirated "l", which means click or clap - the sound of two wooden or plastic objects coming together.

And, just for cuteness, here's a picture of her wearing a dress that's really for a bigger child but she pulled it out of a basket and asked me to put it on her.

I should also mention that she is sleeping much better now. Not perfectly - she still sometimes wakes for about 45 minutes during the night - but much, much better. She falls asleep between 8:30 and 9 and wakes up around 6. I've been cutting her naps short at 2 hours, even though it makes her grumpy, and I think that helps. The one time last week I let her sleep 3 hours she did the 2-hour night waking again and I decided I wouldn't do that again.

One Week

Well, we're 8 days (and nights) into our new schedule, with mixed results. Apart from the first night, when V. went down in 15 minutes and was asleep at 7:30, she's been falling asleep mostly at 8:30 but two nights at 9:30, and one night at almost 10:00. This despite lights-out close to 7 every night. That's a LONG TIME to be lying next to her. Some nights we take shifts. We usually follow the same routine of books, lights-out, lullaby for about 15 minutes, then play possum - but she'll come over and crawl on us, head-butt us, etc. I'm not sure how effective it would be to leave her alone and let her fuss. We did that when she was in a crib, and she NEVER went to sleep without crying - sometimes for 10 minutes, sometimes for 30 or more, but she ALWAYS cried.

As for the night waking, she's slept through the night 3 nights out of the 7 (tonight I don't know yet what the outcome will be). And two of those nights, she did wake up a couple times but then put herself back to sleep right away, so I'm still counting them - simply because she didn't do the 2-hour waking thing that she did the other 4 nights.

So.... it's somewhat better, but not where I hoped we'd be by now. For now though we're going to keep trying with the dinner at 5 and lights-out at 7, mostly because I have no earthly idea what else to try. I guess the options are 1) put her back in the crib and let her cry it out, or 2) leave her on her little bed but move ourselves into another room. I think with option 2 we worry about her wandering around the room at night on her own.

What IS working better is the earlier mealtime. She is more focused on eating, and eats a good meal in about 45 minutes, when we start dinner close to 5. So this is working well with my having the sitter come every morning and then just caring for her myself in the afternoons.

As of tonight, we've stopped giving her a snack at bedtime, wondering if maybe she's overfull when we put her down, or having heartburn or something.

She's still fighting naps, too. It takes 40 minutes or more to get her to sleep in the afternoon even when she's obviously tired and ready for it. I don't really know what that's about. She usually falls asleep between 1:30 and 2:00 even though I put her down between 12:30 and 1:00. So that's really frustrating too.

The other struggle we're having right now is with bath time. Last Sunday, she was soooo tired from 3 weeks of poor sleep, and Terry thought he'd entertain her with the toddler shower head he bought a long time ago. It's a little dolphin, and you attach it to your own shower head but it comes down closer to toddler level and the water comes out its mouth. We'd never used it before, but it was hanging in the shower and V. always points to it and wants to play with it.

Well, it terrified her. Ever since then she has not wanted to take a bath AT ALL. We've made her bathe twice since then, just because her hair was starting to smell funky, and she fought it crying all the way. So hard. Not sure what to do about that either.

I've been feeling pretty demoralized and discouraged about the sleep issue. She's such a sensitive little thing, it's hard to know sometimes how to help her cope with life. Sometimes I think this time of year is just hard for her - it was precisely at this time last year when we first had our horrendous sleep problems - coming after the holiday travel, into a new schedule with a new babysitter. Hopefully by the end of this week we'll have some better news.

Sleep, Eat, Smile

So last night Valerie slept through the night for the FIRST TIME in almost THREE WEEKS. She went down fighting but was asleep by 8:30, which is an improvement on the previous night when she spent 2.5 hours jumping on the bed until 9:30, and woke up at 1:30, 4:30, and 6:00 - although she did fall asleep quickly every time. Well last night she didn't wake up AT ALL until 6:15! And was in a much better mood this morning. With our extra time until 9:00 when the sitter comes, I made this recipe:

Mumologic's Unoffensive Recipe

It smells soooo good. I don't know if V. will eat it, but we still have rice and beans hanging around and she likes that a lot. I add chopped tomato, olive oil, salt, and maybe a little meat and she really enjoys it. I'm trying to teach her to eat with a spoon (I know, recien???) but she still turns it upside down to put in her mouth. We're working on it. She prefers to spoon-feed me pretend food and let me do the shoveling for her.

Also, we got yet more snow last night... and more is predicted for the weekend... I was digging around in a box of stored baby clothes yesterday and found a bag of winter clothes I'd forgotten we had - all size 2T and pink! There may be time to use it yet!