In Memoriam

I had thought about what I wanted to say at the memorial service, but they closed the open mic sooner than I expected, and I was left with words unsaid. So I thought I would post them here. I know I will repeat things other people have said, but I guess that's not really actually a problem - anyway, this is how I remember Dave Sparks.

My earliest memories of uncle Dave are a child's memories; awareness of a strong and gentle presence in the background there among the adults; a deep and resonant voice, and a feeling of safety. When I came to the US for college, the whole family kind of moved into a surrogate parental role while my parents were still in Peru. I remember Dave including me on a trip to Darien Lake for Max's 6th birthday, simply as part of the family. When I was in the Black Hills taking science classes, Dave sent me not only the biggest care package I've ever received, but certainly the biggest care package anyone at the science center received that summer! The enormous box held clothes, snacks, and camping gear enough for three people. I shared the snacks with my roommates all summer long, and to this day I still have some of the clothes. Dave was one of the most generous people I've ever met. The last time I saw him, he was still loading our car with drinks and snacks, as much as we could carry.

He loved to look after Grandma. Another memory I have of Dave is the hours and hours and hours he would spend fixing things for her, replacing fixtures in the house, and so on. I actually still have some of the clothes that he bought for her, too.

The last thing Dave told me before I went to Bolivia as a volunteer with the Mennonite Central Committee was "now don't you come back with a Mennonite boyfriend!" (this was due to, shall we say, "issues" he had with his neighbor who happened to be Mennonite). Ironically, I came back with the one Mennonite guy I met who most resembled Dave in temperament and personality! At first Terry and Dave locked horns over US foreign policy, but later on they bonded while yelling at the airline people when the Sparks were bumped from their Cuzco-Lima flight after visiting my parents one Christmas (classic Dave line: "Call the embassy! They're bumping Americans!"). They also share a disdain for bad/inconsiderate/annoying drivers on the highway, and an enjoyment of big meals and honking at golfers.

As much as Dave has meant to all of us, I know he has meant the world to Wendy. As long as I can remember, it's always been Wendy&Dave, like peanut butter and chocolate, like stars and stripes. He leaves a big absence. It is you we'll be thinking of in the weeks and months to come, holding you in our hearts, trying to match the measure of love that Dave put into his family, into the world.