Live, from New York...

It's Monday afternoon! What an idyllic afternoon, lying in a hammock under the maple tree in Aunt Cathie's backyard, sipping lemon water and knitting a strawberry hat...

Lovely weekend with the family, lots of food, conversation, and we even managed to orchestrate a group photo although Vince had to be called back from a bike ride (we introverts all need our breaks - hence my afternoon in the hammock). The highlight of the festivities has been the six little ones, the next generation - Dillon Bordges (5), Madison Phelps (4), Sophia Bechtold (3), Kamryn Bordges (3), Solana Kane (almost 2), and Brody Phelps (1.5). At one point Vince took them all for a ride in a big red wagon, followed by a trailing mob of mom/grandma/aunt paparazzi with digital cameras. It was pretty hilarious.

(clockwise from lower left: Madison, Brody, Kamryn, Solana, Sophia. Not pictured: Dillon. Heidi says: "it's about time the girls outnumbered the boys in this family!")

Feeling Twitchy

I cast off the second alpaca sock Sunday night and did not cast on a new project - big mistake. A day without a sock in progress is a day with Twitchy at the helm. All the calm and peace of mind from Sunday afternoon's hike in the woods vanished in a whirl of Monday - Twitchy is definitely at it with gusto, scrabbling at thought-nuts in my head, such as "Furniture for Ithaca?" "Don't disappoint Rajan!" "Worry about all of your family members - incessantly" and "next knitting project - now!"

Find the happy place... find the happy place... speaking of the hike in the woods, that was a very happy place! So very very green, and a clear stream of water trickling through the rocks, pooling under flowering bushes (mt. laurel? I don't know, it sounds poetic though!). It was utterly lovely. We climbed up to a rocky ledge looking out over the valley and ate sweet wild blueberries growing thickly there. Just heavenly! Sorry I don't have pictures - we left the phones at home.

Link to Happiness Quiz

http://www.blogthings.com/howhappyareyouquiz/outcome.php

(near-)instant gratification

I am utterly charmed by the apple hat - copied shamelessly from Tara, of course. This is my new yarn obsession... look for more fruits and veg to come! They knit up unbelievably quickly and are just too cute. Farmers' Market, here we come!

I stumbled across a fun-ish link somewhere in the blogosphere, the How Happy Are You? quiz. It's not terribly scientific, but kind of interesting. The questions definitely suggest that happiness is a chosen attitude, rather than something determined by genetics, context, etc. Terry would probably say that is comes from a Modernization perspective (if you are unhappy, it's your fault, and you need to change your values/attitudes/beliefs/actions). It is just fascinating how we try to measure things that are not really measurable in a scientific way. According to this quiz,

You Are 60% Happy

You're definitely a happy person, even though you have your down moments.You tend to get the most out of life, though there's always some more happiness to be squeezed.

How Happy Are You?

Comments, anyone? (Oh - if you click on the link, just scroll down past the "Know anyone pregnant?" box.)

First Syllabus of the Year

I just got an e-mail with my first syllabus from Cornell - the Anthropology pro-seminar that everyone takes. Here's a sample grab:

"By refracting social theory through its own social life and intellectual history, I hope for something more than conceptual clarification. Methodologically, by profaning the claim of theory to transcend context, I hope that we (students and instructors alike) will develop a more unsettled and healthy relationship to anthropological professionalism and expertise.

"As befits a program of radical professionalization...students should read as much as possible and then feel anxious for not having read everything" [ok, I've got that part down pat]...

Etc.
Then follows a list of nineteen (19) texts. For one class. Plus another 15 essays on reserve at Uris. We are encouraged to start reading as soon as possible. I just dropped $400 at Powell's Books. While I wait for the books to get here, though, I suppose I ought to see if I can check the first ones due out of the JMU library...

It's exhilerating, and frightening - I will soon learn to speak like... that... hopefully without giggling or rolling my eyes too much. Seriously - "profaning the claim"? Yeah, I agree, on principle, but this use of language will take some getting used to.

It's just another language. Like knitting.

Home again...

Home is a tricky thing for MKs - if I were a computer and pushed the "home" button, I wonder where that would take me? Where is the beginning of the line? When we moved to Harrisonburg I looked around and decided that this would make a good home base - a place always to return to - much to Terry's chagrin! He's truly a global nomad, always with the itchy feet. Growing up Anita and I always had a home base - either the Wycliffe center (see link on sidebar) or the Phelps farm in Chaffee. The Wycliffe center in Yarinacocha has closed, and while the farm is still there, Grandma is not (although there is a cousins reunion in the works for the end of this month!), and that changes everything. Harrisonburg is nice and rural, with a critical mass of Latin American influence so I can maintain my sense of connection. It's not the same as living in Latin America, but an approximation... it takes effort to keep the connection here.

It was wonderful to sleep in my own bad last night :-) It's hotter here than in Costa Rica, though. We had a great weekend before returning, hanging out with Ruben and Lina Maria's church at a weekend retreat of sorts (very casual), and climbing Mt. Poas volcano with Fiorella.
It was misty and cool at the top, I was chilly in a heavy sweater and shorts. The volcano is part of a National Park, so all around the cone was a tangled wet cloud forest full of little birds and tourists.

Good progress was made on the socks - although just for kicks (ha ha) I tried on the finished one last night, and it fit my size 9 1/2 foot perfectly... although it was supposed to be for my abuelita's size 6 foot! Oops... well, I can certainly put these to good use in Ithaca this winter! Meanwhile, I'll just have to start another pair for my grandma - darn! (well... not yet!)

Hi from Costa Rica

We are here:

The sock is thrilled! Although the 100% alpaca with cables is looking a bit large for my granny, it nonetheless serves as doodle-prevention during meetings and conversation-starter during breaks.

We had an uneventful if sleep-deprived trip, and are housed in a lovely "Apart-Hotel," which means basically a hotel in which your room consists of a little apartment complete with kitchen. I am eating all the tropical fruit I can get my hands on.

Yesterday Terry faciliated a very fruitful workshop during which a team of very smart Habitat for Humanity workers analyzed the transcripts of 17 open-ended interviews on the topic of "what sustains Habitat volunteers?" We're talking about governance volunteers, not the ones who come from the US for a week of hefting hammers with Jimmy Carter. We had some very interesting conversations about "protagonismo comunitario," which as I understand it is Habitat's new initiative to foment community ownership of development projects... a hot-button topic to me as I turn out to be something of an ideological purist when it comes to grassroots development...

Lovely people here, and strong representation from Peru! Lina Maria Obando and husband Ruben had us over for a delicious meal; Peru was all over their house: the quena music CD, the art on the walls, even the earthenware dishes and fish soup... not to mention the chakana pendant around her neck!

Today we have a little bit of down time, Thursday we resume analysis with the research team here, and Friday Terry will doing a workshop on social service vs. social change organizations. Saturday we'll probably join Lina Maria and Ruben on a church outing to the country, and Sunday maybe the beach! Monday we return to the US.

Being here certainly whets my appetite to live in Latin America again. It feels like home.

Walking and Socking

What an incredibly lovely day yesterday - clear and sunny and cool. I spent far too many hours in a windowless cubicle wedged between a computer screen and a telephone, conducting an archaeological dig into desk drawers that I've been chucking paper into for two years. Unearthed a few interesting finds, but mostly scrap paper. Walking home was balm for the soul.

I had NPR on at work (WEMC), and on Talk of the Nation they were discussing research about why human health is enhanced by the influence of nature - "nature" meaning the usual Romanticized concept (trees, flowers, grass), in opposition to what is "artificial" - manufactured. One thing they said was that in our everyday lives we are surrounded by stimuli that demand our focused attention: the phone ringing, cars going by, even the stacks of paper on the desks. This constant demand exhausts a certain part of the brain. But trees, grass, and flowers do not - in fact, the stimuli of nature renew and refresh that part of the brain, because these natural sights and sounds and smells demand nothing of us. Basically, researchers are identifying the specific ways that our neorology responds to these different kinds of stiumuli. One study showed that the presence of trees, grass, and green spaces in urban areas had a direct correlation to reduced levels of violence, especially violence against women and children.

I really ought to try to find the sources of these findings - but the upshot was that after I head the broadcast, I walked home (knitting) and lay on the grass in the backyard watching the bees burrow their snouts into the bachelor's buttons, and listened to the wind in our (dying) pin oak tree, thinking happy thoughts. Bliss...!

Leedle Sock

This was a total vanity project - it fits my thumb, but it's not a thumb-sock - it's for a little exercise at work where we each have to contribute something that represents an aspect of our personality or self. So of course I had to knit a tiny sock. Size 0 dpns, self-striping yarn - it took about an hour to make. Warning: technical writing ahead!

Here I try my hand at writing a pattern: CO 18 st. (6 on each needle). Join in the round, being careful not to twist. K1 P1 rib for 2 rounds. Continue in stockinette stitch for 10 rounds. Divide stitches on needles as follows: 9, 5, 4. Make heel: *Turn and P9. Turn, and K1 Slip1. Repeat from * once. P4, P2tog, P1, turn. Slip 1, K1, K2tog, K1, turn. Slip 1, P3, P2tog, P1, turn. Slip 1, K2, K2tog, K1. Continuing in the round, PU 3 st. along side of heel flap, K9, PU 3 more st. on other side of heel flap, K3 (this leaves half of heel stitches on one needle, half on the next. Maintain this division as you redistribute stitches). Redistribute stitches as follows: 7 instep stitches on needle 2, gusset and half heel on each of other two needles (1 and 3, respective to instep needle). K 1 round even. Needle 1: K to last 2 st, K2tog. Needle 2: K 7. Needle 3: SKP, K to end. Slip 1 stitch each from needles 1 and 3 onto needle 2 (4, 9, 5). Continue in Stockinette stitch for 10 rounds more. * Next round: K to last 2 st on needle 1: K2tog. Needle 2: SKP, k to last 2 st, k2tog. Needle 3: SKP, K to end. Repeat from * once. 10 st. rem. Graft toe shut using kitchener st. Weave in ends.

Wow - I think I could write patterns! What a thrill :-) Since I design my own sweaters half the time... ! The point, of course, is really to impress people - but suddenly I'm envisioning a knitting legacy for any future heirs that might appear. That would be pretty cool.

Miscellaneous

This picture is about 10 months old... but the hat Emily's Liam is modeling is the same design I plan to knit for the Yarlot's latest cause.

In other random news: one of our speakers stated that as a social scientist, he can speak for 5 minutes or 2 hours on any subject, with no essential change in content... and that he specializes in "the elaborate demonstration of the obvious by methods that are obscure." For some weird reason I just kept thinking about Terry...! :-) (I love you!)

Indy

I've been knitting on the sly as much as possible...which resulted in a dropped stitch that I didn't even notice until 2 and 1/2 inches later... no option but to rip out and do over. But since I enjoy knitting, that means I double the fun, right? :-)

Meanwhile, we've had a lot of brain-busting sessions, presentations, and truly evocative stories that more than once had the whole 500+ audience reaching for tissues or hankies...

A visit to the phenomenal Eiteljorg Museum of Native American Art (behind the reindeer sculpture) - I would come back to Indianapolis just to see this museum again...

And a lovely evening walk along a peaceful canal through a green space nestled in the heart of downtown (top picture). One more day, one more presentation, and I get to go home!!! Paddling all the way if I must!

Sock Heaven

Today I'm off to Indianapolis for our National Conference, Sock in hand! I have nearly finished the World Cup Soccer Socks, thanks to a nice long 4-hour drive to Abingdon, VA - all but the toe grafting on the second sock. I ran out of yarn while in Abingdon (gasp - the horror!) but had a few little bits left at home, just enough to finish 'er off. Meanwhile, the next pair was happily cast on and begun. I used a short-row heel which looks very pointy here, but I was bored with the other kind. (This is the sock visiting me in my office prior to trip).

Before leaving for Abingdon, I picked lavender:

And checked on Aaron's tree (This was our Christmas tree in 2004), which we planted outside in the Spring): Tree was not doing so well last year but this Spring put out a lot of lovely new growth and is thriving! It needed a full turn of seasons to adjust to being outdoors I guess.

Abingdon, by the way, was a lot of fun - accents and humidity thick as Southern honey. We picked raspberries along the Creeper Trail, caught fireflies at dusk, watched World Cup Soccer (of course), ate well, and played hard. I also took a 2.5-hour nap... nothing like a nap to feel like it's the weekend!

Another Fiber Art

Yesterday Suzzette, Gretchen, Iris and I made handmade paper out of random things lying around the house (well, not so random - I took a papermaking class a couple years ago and had a lot of materials left over). This is some of the paper we made.

It was really fun! Here is a picture of Suzzette helping Iris make a sheet of paper:


I never thought a four-year-old could make a sheet of handmade paper but she loved it and did a great job! Suzzette and I are going to make a book!

Tara's blog just makes me think of Quechua women

On Grief

But first, for the knitters:

100% cotton yarn; I have found that intarsia (the technique used to make the blue heart) works much better than stranded Fair Isle style knitting for incorporating color with cotton yarn. Intarsia gives you a much smoother result - of course it limits what you can do, but it also saves yarn! I had maybe one yard of the orange left over at the end, so intarsia works well for extending the yarn you have to work with (Dot, the darker blue diamond in the scarf I knit for you is intarsia as well).

Main topic:
I was thinking about sadness the other day, and wondering in terms of brain chemistry why do humans experience this feeling? How is sadness or grief a survival trait? Terry thinks it is a function of our capacity to hypothesize, or to imagine different realities; he read some article about how the ability to anticipate things that have not yet happened is a survival trait related to pattern recognition. If the hunter can anticipate the movements of the beast, it is more likely to come home with a kill than not. The hunter's experiences over time build up to a recognition of certain patterns in underbrush and spoor; thus he can successfully imagine a reality that he is not directly experiencing.

Trouble is, I can imagine realities in which Aaron (Solana's dad) is alive, in which I have a child of my own - and now, not years from now! and this capacity to imagine corresponds to a capacity for sadness that can be hard to bear sometimes. Which brings me back to the original question - what is the point of sadness? What is the purpose? Why do humans experience grief? Ultimately, of course, what I am demanding is an accounting for why I must experience grief and sadness - I'm just good at intellectualizing these things. Maybe that's a survival trait in itself.

World Cup Sock-er

It's all over but the buttons. I don't think I can bear to part with this prettiest of soft wool sweaters, knit in Tahki yarns' "Shannon" (my own design). This one goes in the hope chest :-).

As for the ribbed stripes you see, this is my World Cup Sock - started the day of the opening match (Friday), the pair must be finished by the end of the preliminary round! It's going very quickly so I am not too concerned at this time. Sorry the photo is so blurry. The lighting was not good... and, after all, it's just my camera-phone!

I was very productive this weekend - also started and finished an orange cotton tank top (sized 6 months) with a blue intarsia heart knitted into the front bib area. The big challenge was the lettuce edge trim - casting on 616 stitches on a circular needle without losing count and then joining without twisting... that was fun! The next round you knit 2 together all the way around, then do it again for the 3rd round. Voila - lettuce edge. It's very cute.

The other fun thing we did this weekend (besides watch endless World Cup Soccer) was this:

Not About Knitting

Twice in the past five days I have gotten quite teary-eyed while at work; once while talking with a solid gold volunteer and realizing that I won't be here when he comes back at the end of the summer, and again today while looking at pictures of the end-of-the-year party for our Latino High School Bigs. This pilot project was a scary new thing for me, a new thing for our agency, and a bit of a risk - but it paid off beautifully. What this means to me is concrete accomplishment of the vision I had when coming into this job - to see Latino young people coming forward as mentors and volunteers, demonstrating that to be Latino does not automatically mean poverty and need, that this community is a resource and source of goodness, and for the kids, that you can be Latino and be a good role model, not a gang member or wannabe. These volunteers show such leadership. And the kids have benefitted so much! The little girl in red was so shy and in her shell at the beginning of the year, and look at her now! So I'm getting all soppy and sentimental here; the vitality and joy of this group is so beautiful. And I won't be here in the Fall to see the next group coming through. I know I'll be back, but I just had this moment of sadness mixed with joy while looking at these photos.

Have Sock, Will Travel

Another day, another sock :-) I have a bad habit of losing yarn labels, but I can tell you it's a wool blend that feels like cotton. I am using the chevron pattern from Charlene Schurch's book. Yesterday Terry and I drove to Staunton - it's only a half hour away! I had never been before! - for an afternoon date; it was really fun. Of course I felt a smidge guilty for neglecting work, but, well, the puppy needed a walk :-)

What I Did Today

In addition to re-organizing my entire yarn stash (and throwing away several handfuls of bits and pieces of yarn each less than a foot long - exactly what did I think I was going to use those for???), sewing buttons and "Solana Sweater" labels on these three sweaters, blocking another Solana Sweater (not pictured), and nearly finishing my Ringed Fang Socks (soon to be fangless), I also thought a lot about ripping back knitting, and why I don't really mind it so much.

Compared to pretty much any other kind of mistake one can make in life - like, say, a tattoo of your ex's name - knitting mistakes can be so easily fixed. Now felting is another story... but the knitting itself - you just rip it back, and do it over again, and nobody will be the wiser. In contrast, if you say something really hurtful to someone, even if you don't mean it, chances are you can't take it back, and the damage is done. You just have to live with the consequences, try to make ammends. Or if you smoke 3 packs a day for ten years and then get lung cancer, it's pretty difficult to undo that mistake. When I think about it in those terms, ripping back knitting is almost a pleasure. I have a do-over. I can fix my mistakes.

Besides, yarn this gorgeous is a pleasure to knit in and of itself, so frogging (rip-it, rip-it... get it? I didn't make that up!) and reknitting such lovely wool just means prolonging the delight. (Regardless, pictures can't convey how soft and lovely this yarn is to the touch - truly the nicest stuff I've ever worked with.)

flowers.angst.poetry

I couldn't find a picture of myself that I liked enough to post here, so I took a couple self-portraits with my cell phone camera. It's convenient, it's fun, it's relatively inexpensive, but it sure isn't National Geographic.
Somewhere between flower child and bookworm, there I am.