The kids

In lieu of an actual post, here are some pictures of the kids: Enjoy!

More Drakulic

"Individualism is flourishing in one respect in Eastern Europe: It is visible only in the ruthless accumulation of capital. Perhaps a chance to make money, a chance those people never had before, is indeed a condition to developing the first-person singular. Why, then, have I used 'we' and 'us' so frequently in this book? Because a common denominator is still discernible, and still connects us all, often against our will. It is not only our communist past, but also the way we would like to escape from it, the direction in which we want to go. It's our longing for Europe and all that it stand for.

Or, rather, what we imagine Europe stands for. I believe you can see this common denominator if you take a close look at the price of bananas, at our bad teeth and public toilets, or at our yards on the outskirts of big cities. Indeed, you can see it merely by taking a walk on any boulevard in any capital, be it Tirana or Budapest, Prague or Warsaw. Somewhere there will be a hotel, a cinema, a bar, a restaurant, a cafe or a simple hole in the wall, named, for our desire, Europe."

Drakulic, Slavenka. 1996. Cafe Europa: Life After Communism. New York: Penguin. Pp. 4-5.

Turkish Coffee

Today I received instructions on how to make turkish coffee; it's a very popular drink here. The coffee is ground very, very fine and prepared in a long-handled pot that holds enough for two-four espresso-sized servings. I've often seen women walking across the street balancing a tray bearing several tiny cups and saucers, or just carrying the long-handled pot down to another shop for someone.

On Christmas weekend, I was walking through Parku Rinia and saw a middle-aged man relaxing on a bench with a bathroom scales at his feet. You can find these in all the parks, and pay a few coins to find out your weight. A stout woman with graying hair was next to him, pouring their afternoon coffee into little cups. She had a small cushion to sit on, a tablecloth to go under the tray, and maybe I imagined the little plate with cake on it but regardless it was a lovely little scene of domesticity on a sunny afternoon.

Laundry

I've been reading a book that was given to me before we came, titled How We Survived Communism and Even Laughed, by Slavenka Drakulic (Harper Collins, 1991). Drakulic is a Croatian journalist; in this book she reflects on the transition from communist totalitarianism to free market democracy, particularly for women. Although Croatia was part of Yugoslavia and politically separate from Albania, a lot of the things she describes apply equally well here. I tried to tell Shpresa about the book (she would have been in her early 20s when the transition happened here); she well recalls the food shortages and other problems people experienced in their daily lives.

One passage in particular caught my attention because it still applies here, from the chapter on laundry - Drakulic could have been describing Tirana in 2010:

She lives on the third floor, and because she doesn't have a balcony to hang her clothes on, she has a device that I've seen so many times, on so many windows: two metal tubes fixed either under the window or on the window frame itself, with rows of lines between. The laundry hangs above the sidewalk water dripping on the heads of passers-by.... This, I think, looking down from Blaga's window in Sofia, is what makes our cities so specific, so unique - balcony dryers....

Perhaps you don't notice it at first, in the center of the city and on the main streets. But as soon as you enter the side streets, hanging clothes flutter like flags of another state, announcing that you are entering a different, female territory. Clothes dangle on the wind under the windows, on balconies and terraces, in backyards, in narrow streets stretched between houses, even high up on skyscrapers. Socks, pants, shirts, diapers, dresses, aprons, handkerchiefs, slips - they make a foreign city all of a sudden look intimate, friendly, familiar to me. (pp. 51-52)

It's something I noticed right away here, but that soon began to fade into the background. Whereas in the US there are homeowner's associations that ban line drying clothes in the front yard - or at all - here it's just part of the legacy of privation. People just didn't have dryers, and very few had washing machines. So it's built now as part of how you do your laundry. (Most have washers now so the heavy work at least is done by machine.) What struck me about it here was that even the most posh apartment buildings facing major upscale boulevards have lines of laundry hanging out for all the world to see. I kind of like it.

More Pictures: Sibling Rivalry/Adoration

Actually, I think she says his name more like "Blayblrl." Or sometimes "Glrayblrl."

Either way, what she really wants here is ALL the pillows. She understands about sharing but that doesn't mean it comes easily!

Gabriel is happiest when he can watch Valerie doing stuff. Oh, and since we moved here I've lost a total of six of his socks... what you see on the ground below the stroller is a doll's onesie I wrapped around his foot to keep it a little warmer after I noticed we were down a sock again.

Someday their relationship will be more reciprocal! But I still think they're cute together :-)

Blabril

I just realized I should have put these in inverse order: play, food, bath, and bed (although we're not co-sleeping) :-) Oh - and the post title? is how Valerie pronounces "Gabriel."

Love you Little Dude!

Six Months!

(Hi Aunt Cathie! Look what came in our shipment!!) :-)

Gabriel is 6 months old today!

I have to say, I LOVE this age. I love how squishy and soft Gabriel is, how cuddly and happy. His bright eyes are big and round, taking in everything. He LOVES to watch Valerie running around doing things, and will sometimes fuss when he can't see her! Shpresa commented today that when he learns to walk, she'd better look out! He's going to be after her pulling her long hair! A couple evenings ago the three of us were on Valerie's bed playing "book house" and I tickled her feet; her giggle prompted Gabriel to absolutely shriek with delighted laughter, which prompted me to do everything I could to make Valerie laugh again, just to hear him! It was a perfect moment.

He's rolling over well, and starting to show interest in sitting up. He loves to eat and will grab the spoon with both hands and gnaw on it while I'm feeding him. His first couple "meals," he would fuss and squawk whenever we slowed down the shoveling of the rice cereal into his mouth! (Not that he eats very much - but he really does seem to enjoy it.) He perks up when I put him in the car seat (we have no high chair) to feed him and he hears the spoon clinking against the cup as I mix up the rice cereal.

Despite his gregarious nature, he is also showing a strong preference for Mama, which while flattering can be a little inconvenient! But it's developmentally appropriate too. This is when separation anxiety starts to kick in.

His second tooth came in yesterday; he was fussy and feverish and didn't nap very well. He's been drooling and biting things for two months now, so I'm glad that we finally have some kind of resolution there.

Next week we'll go in for a weigh-in and well child visit and find out how much this bruiser has grown in two months!

More Christmas Pictures

Better late than never, eh?

Valerie, in classic introvert mode, was fascinated by the pool at the church Christmas party we attended Christmas Day.
Anyone recognize this hat? On our way to the Christmas party.
Christmas morning breaking open our shipment! Valerie, our animal lover, was very excited about all the Noah's Ark stuff!
Terry trying out one of Gabriel's five toys; Gabriel tries out the Bumbo chair.

Gezuar Vitin e Ri!

Wow, my first post of 2011 - seems like I should say something profound. Alas my brain cells don't seem to be up to it at the moment.

Here we are the day after Christmas, just before going to church (which is why Valerie's and my hair is all wet).

Sorry I haven't been posting for a while; we are still in a state of chronic sleep deprivation and seem to have come down with a collective cold/sinus/sore throat kind of thing. And Gabriel's first tooth seems to have made its definitive debut after flirting with us for almost 6 weeks! Poor little guy was absolutely miserable yesterday, with a fever, watery eyes and runny nose. He's doing better today though.

We're thinking of moving and have looked at a couple different places, all of which have their various pros and cons. We like our place but there are three strong counts against it: 1) we'd like a third bedroom so Gabriel can have his own room. At the moment Terry and I are dragging our mattress out to the living room every evening so that every little noise he makes doesn't wake me up. 2) There is constant construction noise going on from renovation projects on the 9th and 2nd floors of our building; it reverberates like crazy through the building and is very annoying. 3) Most problematic is the leaking roof in Valerie's room - the dripping water isn't as big a deal, though, as the spreading mold and flaking paint. We had to move her bed so the paint wouldn't drift down over it all night.

We've seen some promising options - one is just 2 blocks from our favorite park! - but haven't quite made a decision yet. It's always hard to anticipate what, er, challenges might emerge after moving that we can't quite envision yet. And moving itself is so stressful. But we're hoping it will be worth it to eliminate the three problems listed above.

On another topic altogether, my Peruvian/Japanese/American relatives who were unable to attend my grandmother's funeral and memorial service in Peru all got together for a virtual reunion on skype yesterday. It was really nice to share memories of Abuelita and hear voices of loved ones I haven't seen in years (over 15 years, some of them). It was a little distracting with the kids needing my attention at the same time but worth it. Again - I wish I had something more profound to say but it's only 7 p.m. here and I'm ready to fall asleep. Guess I'll sign off for now and hope the next post will be more interesting :-)

Abuelita

I just received word that my grandmother in Peru is gone.

Wet Christmas

Albania is still pretty excited about the no-visa thing.

Here's our completed homemade Advent calendar! Valerie got really into it and it was fun telling and re-telling the story for her.
Christmas morning we went out for a walk and got caught in a rainstorm, so ducked into a restaurant for juice, coffee, and roasted potatoes (they didn't have french fries). We thought the rain might be letting up around 11:30 and both kids were starting to fade, so we headed for home, but it started raining even harder - Valerie held one umbrella over herself in the stroller, and I had the other one over me and Gabriel in the Bjorn. Poor Terry was hatless and umbrella-less in the rain which was intermittently mixed with HAIL! He said he didn't mind and even laughed about it (yes, I married the right person!) :-) My feet got soaked in muddy water but the kids stayed warm and dry and it felt good to get home, eat a little more lunch and then segue into nap time.

After naps, we went to a Christmas party with the congregation of the church we've been attending. It was at a fancy restaurant in a room with an uncovered swimming pool. We got to chat a little bit with people but Valerie was fascinated by the pool - and the diving board! - so we spent a lot of time keeping her corralled. It wasn't the most kid-friendly event ever but the food was good and I met some people. Gabriel got passed around until he got over-tired and fussy.

I was really happy to find a burgundy-colored corduroy dress with long sleeves and velvet trim in our shipment - the perfect Christmas dress! I'd not bought one this year because it seemed like an unnecessary expense (at home I get them second hand for like $3). She looked perfect. Gabriel wore Valerie's hand-me-down Christmas footie pajamas. I'll post more pictures soon once I get them uploaded from my camera.

I didn't even let Valerie see most of the stuff that came in our shipment - I pulled out about 30 of her books and a few toys and put the rest away. It was still almost too much for her! I'm glad we didn't buy her anything, it would have been overkill for sure! Gabriel's been happy chewing on a teething ring that came in the box, and I'm happy to have my food mill so I can start mushing up fruit for him to try. He loves the rice cereal!

Gezuar Krishtlindjet!

Merry Christmas, all!

Just in time for Christmas!

Our boxes came today!!! Yep - it took three months. But they're here. We haven't opened them yet. I'm so excited - knitting needles! Sock yarn! Clothes for Gabriel (who is now in 9-12 month onesies)! Toys for Valerie! Books! It might be a little overwhelming when we do cut through the masking tape and cardboard...

Maybe Valerie will enjoy playing with the boxes even more than their contents :-) Today at the park she entertained herself for a long time picking up stones and throwing them back down, or putting them on the bench and then knocking them off.

Three months in Shqiperia

Some pieces of random now that we've been here 3 months:

I'm enjoying browsing through the archives of a blog I found titled "Our Man In Tirana." The blogger was here from 2005-2008 and is now in the UK but I enjoy reading his impressions and comparing them to my own. His life as a guy without kids was very different from mine but he noticed a lot of the same things I see around here.

One day when Valerie woke up in the morning I took her out on the balcony to show her that the weather was nice. "Look, no rain!" I said. Sleepily she answered, "take rain off."

The way I explained the concept of "time-outs" to Shpresa was that it's like a yellow card and then red card in soccer. She finds this hilarious.

Yesterday was unseasonably warm, for a change - we went to the park and Valerie spent an hour and a half running around, jumping, and scratching in the dirt with sticks. (Why do we buy toys???) It felt like spring and I wore short sleeves on my walk to my Albanian lesson in the afternoon.

Gabriel is trying desperately to grab things with his hands. He rolls over like a pro now!

Terry is on another overnight work trip. We thought about going along but it was going to be a lot of time in the van and didn't really seem like that much fun to me. We might take a short trip to another city in Albania over the Christmas break.

Lotus is 2!!

Happy Birthday to my niece Lotus, who is two years old today!

We love you, cutie!

Gezuar Ditlindjen!

White Christmas???

So I was under the impression before we came here that temperatures in Tirana rarely drop below 40 degrees F; but lately we've been freezing, literally. At night the temperature has dropped into the high 20s several times. And, today, SNOW. All morning long, a brief transition to rain during the middle of the day, and now big fluffy flakes sifting over the city. There is slush on the sidewalks and the roofs of cars and buildings are painted white. This, I never thought I'd see.

I'm thinking today of the men I've seen sleeping in public parks, and the children I saw yesterday burning trash by the side of the river.

Thoughts of these children, the cold, the snow, it all wraps up in my mind with the refugee family celebrated in the creche I bought the other day, Jesus among barnyard animals, their shelter his shelter the day he was born.

Apagon

When I was growing up in Peru, power outages (un apagon, in Spanish) were not unusual. Apparently neither are they in Tirana - although from what I hear it's much better now than it used to be. We've had three so far since we came; the longest one was Saturday lasting from about 4 p.m. to 10 p.m.

It was a gorgeous sunny day but breathtakingly cold; we went out in the morning to see a youth photo exhibit sponsored by World Vision at the national museum of culture. The sky was pure blue but the wind was knife-like. We bundled the kids up well but it still felt soothing and relaxing to come home to an apartment warmed both by passive solar heat through our south-facing windows as well as by electric space heaters.

So we were a little worried when night fell and the temperature dropped even more, because without electricity our heaters didn't work. We lit candles all around the house and lit up the gas burners on the stove but we knew it was a matter of time before the air would grow chill.

We made plans to all sleep in one bed, to keep the kids warm with our bodies and blankets. Terry moved the furniture around so our bed would be against a inside wall. But at bedtime, we put the kids down each in their own bed where they both fell asleep, still warm enough. Thankfully the lights came on around 10 and we were able to turn on the space heaters and turn off our worry.

Well, as much as you ever do, as a parent.

Snow!

This morning I took Valerie and Gabriel out for a walk because the sun was out, even though it was cold enough out that one man actually scolded me for bringing the children out. I guess by that time the sun had disappeared behind thick white clouds, and shortly after we got home I looked out the window and saw SNOW falling!

The tiny made-in-China Christmas tree I bought this morning seems a little more fitting now. I also found a creche at a tchotchke shop that sells mostly tourist-oriented souvenirs like clay statuettes of Albanians in traditional garb and keychains with photos of sunlit coastal cities. I spied a statuette of Mother Teresa in the same shop, so I'm guessing the proprietors are Christian (at least by tradition if not by conviction).

Anyway, it's cold, and I was glad for the handknits I have with me, even if none of them match each other and we all three looked as patchwork and motley as a family of gypsies.

Hiao: Bean

"Hiao" (or however it's spelled) is how Valerie says "here it is" (pronounced sort of like "He-ow" but all run together in one word. Incidentally, "Hisadidou" is how she says "horse," so it really takes a specialist like me to decipher a lot of what she has to say... it helps that mostly she narrates herself throughout the day.)

One of the most fun things we've done together this month has been to sprout beans in a jar. We got the idea from an E.lmo DVD and just used beans I bought at the local produce stand for cooking. I had no idea if they'd germinate or not, but I put four beans in a recycled glass jar with wet toilet paper and we looked at them every day. I kept the jar on top of the refrigerator, and every morning Valerie would see it and say "Hiao bean" and I'd get it down and put it on the table and we'd look at it while eating breakfast, and sometimes several times throughout the day. One day I saw that one of the beans was growing a little white sprout! I was so excited, that Valerie got excited too. It was so fun to see it growing, finally pushing its stem up and out of the jar and unfolding two green leaves (the following 3 pictures were taken on the morning, noon, and evening of the same day).

Of the four beans, all of them germinated, but one seemed to have been damaged as it didn't fully sprout along with the others. Another one seemed small and discolored.

But two are big and strong. Today we planted three of them in a pot at the base of a tall house plant that came with the apartment.

Shpresa remarked that normally one would plant beans in warm weather but the apartment is quite warm. (House update: no news, the attempted eviction seems to be mired in bureaucracy for the moment.)

In any case, it was a really fun little project that required minimal investment or effort but made me feel like I was helping Valerie connect to nature and her agricultural heritage somehow.

Time

As of today, December 10, Gabriel has lived in Albania longer than he has in the US!

Today

Today felt like a long day. I started potty training Valerie in the morning, and in the evening gave Gabriel his first rice cereal! The second item was definitely more fun than the first!

FIVE months!

Gabriel is three - *oops, FIVE* - months old today!

(This is what long-term sleep deprivation will do to your brain...)

• He has been working very hard recently on mastering the skill of rolling over. He rolls very well from back to tummy, but only one direction (to the left, of course). He has more trouble going from tummy to back for some reason and gets really frustrated when he's stuck in one position.
• He loves to watch Valerie playing and running around, he's completely fascinated by her. (For her part, she's warming up to him slowly but steadily and will now send me to him when he's crying - "Baby cry, Mama off!" - and offer him kisses on his hands.)
• He's a big one, already about to burst out of the 6-month size sleepers we have here!
• His tooth is still just a little white spot on his gum. It seems to bother him intermittently and produces vast amounts of drool.
• It seems that I need to stay away from bread as well as dairy. I've been off eggs for awhile, too.
• Consolidated sleep continues to elude us. He's doing better at going to sleep on his own, and is only nursing 2x at night, but he STILL wakes up around 5x every night. His daytime naps are also still very short, like 4-5 naps a day of around 45 minutes to an hour each. He did take two 2-hour naps at the beginning of last week but apparently that was just a tease.
• He continues to be a healthy, laid-back, charming, smiley baby with wide eyes and an adorable dimple so I'm not complaining too much.
• Oh, also I should mention that I've been talking to him in Spanish as much as possible. I was inspired by some of the young kids I've met here who've managed to become quite fluent in English without ever leaving Albania, and I thought you know, I'm doing my kids a disservice by not talking to them in Spanish. So they are now being exposed to three languages!

Love you, Little Dude. Now go to sleep. xoxo, Mama

Cabin fever

Rain, rain, and more rain. It's been causing serious flooding problems around Shkodra in the north. So I won't complain too much about the leaks in our roof (which the landlord has tried to repair four times, he's about DONE with the engineer he's working with) or how we can't go outside to play.

Meanwhile, Valerie has been finding lots to do at home, which is fun. Currently her favorite game is to "Book house" - we make houses out of her board books (ridiculously easy) and then she stacks her toy animals on top and inside them. She also likes clomping around in our shoes, making tents, and playing with her beanie babies. The frog and monkey are particularly subject to being fed "mupp" (pretend milk), having their diapers changed, getting baths - rushed through to the point where they're pulled out of the tub and wrapped in a towel and cuddled - and given rides in their "cars" (again, our shoes). This age is almost as fun as it is challenging :-).

I realized looking back through the past couple of months that I haven't been posting very many pictures of her, they're all of Gabriel! So here are a few fun ones:

succinct

In my experience so far, Albanians are kind, generous, and courteous to a fault - until they get behind the wheel of a car.

Recycling

Another trivial update:

So, I said in October that one of the things I miss is recycling. I've since realized that recycling does happen here, just not in an institutionalized manner.

Every city street here has a set of big dumpsters that are emptied by the municipality on a regular basis. People gather up their household trash in plastic bags (usually grocery bags), and then when they leave the house to go somewhere - and most people walk, I think - they take the bag and then just chuck it in the nearest dumpster as they walk past it. Included in household waste are plastic and glass bottles of all shapes and sizes, and this is what I see people fishing out of the dumpsters, especially on Sundays. They seem quite organized about it - if unofficial. It's always the same people at the same dumpsters, and they have bicycles fitted out with big baskets or even basically push carts to haul stuff away. I don't know where they take it but if they're retrieving it I assume it must have some kind of reuse value if not technically recycling.

Terry heard that the people who do this are usually Roma; I wouldn't know for looking at them, necessarily. When I remember to I separate out our recyclable stuff so that people don't have to pick through dirty diapers in order to find it.

An assortment of updates (*updated)

So, there are a few random topics I've written about here that I thought I might follow up on.

1) "Breast is Best" in Albania

When I asked for advice at the clinic where we took Gabriel for his 4-month well baby visit, specifically about his waking up to nurse every 2 hours, I basically got a textbook response about how to breastfeed your baby successfully, which was fine, but didn't really help me solve my problem. Anyway, I've learned since then that exclusively breastfeeding for the first 6 months is NOT the norm here, even though people do seem to appreciate the value of breastfeeding. According to an American woman I met who is a La Leche League Leader in the US, people here tend to switch pretty early to cow's milk, rice milk, and/or a combination of the two, sometimes as early as 2 months.

The woman who comes to clean our apartment once a week (who I thought was our landlord's wife, but isn't, I've since learned) tells me EVERY SINGLE TIME she comes that I need to be giving Gabriel FOOD, not just mother's milk; the reason he wakes up so much at night is he's hungry. SHE weaned her babies at 1 month old and gave them cow's milk, yoghurt, and fruit. The last time she was here, she grabbed Valerie's yoghurt off the table and shoved a spoonful into Gabriel's mouth! He spit it out and made a hilarious face. I was kind of annoyed but I didn't know how to ask her politely not to do that in my limited Shqip. Standard pediatric advice nowadays is to wait at least a year to introduce babies to cow's milk, because baby humans don't digest it very well as it is best suited for baby calves. And also because of potential allergic reactions.

2) I've also realized that what I thought were grandmothers doing nanny duty are - well, many of them probably ARE grandmothers, but they're actually nannies as well - the kids they are watching aren't they're own grandkids. It seems most mothers here work outside the home, at least once the 1-year paid maternity leave is over. Yep that's right - ONE YEAR PAID. It's not full pay, I've heard both 100% for 6 months and then 80% for six months, and I've also heard 80% for 6 months and 20% for 6 months. But still. NICE.

3) I don't know exactly how much weight I've lost since we came here but all my pants are way too big. Certainly all the baby weight is gone.

Off to play with Valerie now.

Advent

Today was a bad day for naps, but the up side is everybody went to sleep early. I had the luxury of an afternoon nap, though, myself, because Shpresa was here to watch the kids for a few hours.

With all the rain lately, it seems like we go to the park about once a week instead of twice a day like we used to. I've had to come up with some rainy-day indoor activities - al

though Valerie is pretty good at that herself. Lately her fun has been playing pretend games with her toy animals - she changes their diapers, bathes them, feeds them raisins and juice, puts them in our shoes and drives them around, and of course hides them and pretends she can't find them.

One thing I started is a home-made Advent Calendar - I decided just to start Dec 1. Every day I will cut out another little picture and tape it to the tree. I haven't drawn 25 things yet but I have about 2 weeks' worth here. I'll put up the manger on the 24th and add the Baby on the 25th (so, out of chronological order a little bit since the shepherds and wise men didn't come til AFTER he was born... oh well).

There's a lot of Christmas stuff appearing in shops around the city, but I noticed it's all secular - trees, lights, snowmen, reindeer, Santas, etc. - nothing referencing Jesus at all. I wanted to get a nativity set but I guess I'll have to make my own - actually the idea for this "calendar" came when I started thinking how to make my own creche. If/When our shipment comes we have some Christmas books in it that I can use as well.

Independence

Today and tomorrow are holidays here, celebrating Independence Day here in Albania. Here is a nice news article with a short digest version of Albanian history. So far things are pretty quiet in the city; a lot of people take the long weekend to visit family in other cities - much like Thanksgiving in the US. I guess tonight there will be more festivities.

Lapse

Wow, I didn't mean to let a whole week elapse without posting. My goal was to match the October record of 16 posts - an average of one every other day! Don't think I'll make it this time.

Anyway, Terry is currently in Cambodia for a week, and I've re-initiated sleep training with G., which we never quite picked up again after the hiatus when he got sick. I'm in it for keeps this time, full throttle, and it's actually working.... so far.... just about 30 hours in so I shouldn't really start bragging yet. I'm doing the Baby Whisperer method again.

I do have to say last night wasn't easy, as he woke up MORE than he normally does (from 4:30 on it was every half hour... so I don't know that I actually slept much from that point on) but he's been going to sleep much faster. The other goal is nursing more in the day so he'll nurse less at night.

So, I'm going to call it a night even though I don't feel like I've written anything particularly interesting here...

Love to all, and to all a good night.

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers - probably most of you :-)

I'm feeling a little nostalgic as I think of everyone all over the US eating a ton of good food today, hopefully in the company of loved ones.

It's not a holiday here but we're getting together with some expat missionaries tonight for a(nother) meal.

+++

Ok, so I never posted this but it got saved as a draft - I was going to write a long thankfulness list but right now I'm too tired so it will be short.

I am thankful for:

• My babies
• My husband
• Loving family scattered around the world - Mom, Dad, Anita, Rosanne, Dot and Vern
• A warm, safe place to live
• The pleasure of reading a good book
• The sky

(I know, all obvious and boring but hey - it's true)

Someday my Shqip will come

Today marks my 500th post on this blog, and TWO MONTHS in Albania!

Whence the pun in the post title? (Shqip is the Albanian word for the Albanian language; the q is pronounced like a shch).

When I was a little kid in Peru, people used to talk about their barrels coming. It was common practice to ship barrels of stuff I presume on an actual boat when moving overseas for what was then assumed to be a career-long or even life-long commitment to another country, another culture, another people. We even had barrels one time, I think sent down to the jungle from the mountains? I should check with my folks about this - all I remember is that we had some dolls and toys that came around Christmastime when I was 4 or 5, and they had undergone some water damage but were generally ok.

We are still waiting for our shipment to come, four boxes of stuff (mainly all my academic texts, plus about 50 books for Valerie, more of her toys, clothes for Gabriel to grow into, and sundry various other random things). It's all tied up in bureaucratic red tape as far as I can tell, mainly on the receiving end. Hopefully it will come before Christmas.

Early Thanksgiving

We had a really fun evening tonight with Phil and Mel, two of Terry's coworkers who arrived in Albania about a month after we did. Also present for the festivities was Kristela, an Albanian coworker who lived in the US for 5 years and was waxing nostalgic for an American holiday.

Phil and Mel (I got the impression it was mostly Mel!) knocked themselves out with some fantastic holiday fare including candied nuts, a ball of goat cheese encrusted with cranberries and more nuts, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, baklava, pumpkin pie, carrots stewed in the turkey broth, gravy, and of course turkey. Christmas music played in the background and after eating we watched the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special. Valerie liked watching Snoopy clown around with Woodstock, but was VERY VERY UPSET when Lucy pulled the football away from Charlie Brown.

I didn't really grow up with Thanksgiving being a big part of our family life but it was still fun to hang out and eat good food and participate in a long-standing expat tradition - recreating Thanksgiving overseas.

Phil very kindly took this picture of the four of us, a rarity!

rainy day (bien shi)

(Today was actually very bright and sunny; I uploaded this picture a few days ago and scheduled it to post on Saturday in order to spread out my posts so you wouldn't get 2-3 in one day.)

Ku eshte dhemb?

... and this morning, no tooth. So weird.

Here is a picture of our ugly, skinny baby.

He's going to hate me for this someday...!

First

Gabriel cut his first tooth today! He's been drooling incessantly for awhile now, soaking through multiple bibs every day and chewing on his little fisties. So it wasn't a huge surprise. Just a fun one :-) He is not quite 4.5 months old today.

(Just for comparison's sake, Valerie was almost exactly 6 months old when she cut her first tooth, exactly two years ago. Already he's trying to one-up her!)

Right Now

Valerie is walking around holding various books saying "Val-Val reading - miss page!" Gabriel is kicking around in the stroller grinning every time I look at him, and Terry is in Kosovo possibly having breakfast.

Valerie's favorite toys of the moment are:

• a little accordion thing I folded out of paper, she calls it her "cute baby piece [of] paper"
• a brush for cleaning the floor shaped like a lady bug
• a green paper bag full of clothes for Gabriel (dump them out then put them back in)
• a mop

Gabriel has learned to roll over!

Hands full

Sorry things have been a little slow around here again; a little virus has been running through our household, starting with Terry, then on to me, Valerie, and finally Gabriel. Valerie had the lightest touch, with only a few hours of fever. Gabriel had me a little panicked when his temperature went up to 101 degrees F and he threw up. I know now it's not that high but at the moment I was scared - mostly because my cell phone went through the wash last Saturday and we haven't managed to get it replaced yet, and I couldn't reach Terry on Skype. I thought I was going to have to haul both kids to the clinic by myself, right at Valerie's naptime... I did reach Terry, finally, and he came home and I called the doctor on Terry's cell. The doctor is American and actually attends the same church we do and was very reassuring; he said just to watch and wait. We have some infant Tylenol that we brought from the US and we gave him that with the doctor's ok, and sometime during the night his fever went away. He was still a little fussy the next day but now is fine.

So, before that hiatus, sleep training was getting off to a good start. We'll resume tonight.

Pa Visa

Tonight we were treated to a gorgeous fireworks display, which we had a fabulous view of from our 10th story apartment. "Ne Europe Pa Visa!" were the signs all over the city - as of today, Albanians can travel throughout Europe without visas. Shqiperia is proud.

Four months!

Gabriel is 4 months old today!

People here LOVE him. He's precisely the kind of baby people love anyway - chubby, happy, friendly - but there seems to be a culture of baby-appreciation here that is particularly effusive and demonstrative. Every time we go out, at least one person will stop to admire him and say "Mashalla," a word of blessing. It is not unusual for random people - usually young women - to ask me for permission to kiss his fat little cheek.

Valerie gets attention too - everyone wants to pinch her cheek (you can imagine she loves THAT! Our little agoraphobe/xenophobe/misanthrope...) - but Gabriel elicits shrieks (I'm not exaggerating) of admiration from older women and even indulgent smiles from hip young teens. And he eats it up! He smiles and laughs at everybody, and loves getting passed around at Terry's office.

He really likes sitting up and looking around, and prefers to ride in the Bjorn facing out. I think soon he is going to start rolling over. I don't know if we are giving him enough tummy time - I do it when I remember to.

And in honor of his 4-month mark, we are officially starting sleep training tonight. Wish us luck...!!!

Tired

Sorry I haven't posted much this week. The EU went off Daylight Savings Time last Sunday, and consequently Valerie's been waking up at 5 a.m. all week... compounded with Gabriel's fondness for night waking (every 2 hours until 3 or 4 a.m. and then hourly... or more, depending how gassy he is) plus Terry's insomnia - it's been kind of a rough week. But sunny! So thankful for that.

Dajti

Two weekends ago we took a family excursion up Mt. Dajti, which has a national park overlooking Tirana. The trip via cable car (do check out the link - there are some fantastic photos) was exhilerating - it seemed to go on forever as we went up and up and up. Valerie was fascinated watching the cable cars coming down the opposite direction (she said "bye" to each one in turn). Terry enjoyed the panoramic view of Tirana and the surrounding area, and I was entranced by the glimpses below into intimate small spaces - olive groves, terraced fields, old crumbling farmhouses with tiled roofs, villas with grapevines, and rampant new construction of apartment buildings going up in strategically beautiful locations. Gabriel didn't seem to notice anything particularly unusual happening from his vantage point in the Bjorn. :-)

The cable car takes you to a beautiful national park that also has a posh (but apparently inexpensive) hotel and nice restaurant. There was a big playground in pretty good shape and horses that you could pay to ride around on. It was cold up there so I kept Gabriel close. A young woman came up to me and asked permission to kiss him on the cheek! (He is very popular in Albania, it won't be long until they name a city park after him I am sure!)

We also saw old military bunkers built into the hillside in the forest, a relic of times past.

If you are ever in Tirana, I highly recommend the excursion.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my beautiful sister Anita! I hope we can Skype later today but if it doesn't work out, I'll still be thinking of you all day! Love you!!!

(Sorry this is an old picture, my photos are all disorganized...)

Do we fit in yet?

So of course as soon as I posted here that V. is taking regular, consistent naps, her naps fell apart. Ah well.

Today we were walking back from my weekly language lesson, and Valerie noticed that we had an umbrella along, so then she wanted me to open it up for her to hold.

It was a gorgeous sunny day, not a cloud in the sky, and there we trundled along, V in her stroller with a big black umbrella low over her head. I felt so completely ridiculous, I just had to embrace the funny and laugh at ourselves. It's not like we exactly blend in to begin with but this went above and beyond conspicuous!

Then as we were crossing a street near Skenderbej Square, the grandiose (currently under re-construction) main plaza in the middle of the city, a gust of wind blew the umbrella right out of Valerie's hands, and it went tumbling and twirling away down the middle of the street. I couldn't leave Valerie in the middle of the street to run after it, so I pushed her to the sidewalk as she cried and cried and reached for the lost umbrella. Cars were coming around the corner honking at the wayward device. I parked V and turned to see a very kind man rescue the umbrella and bring it back to us.

Oops, Valerie demanding mommy for sleep. More later.

Domesticity

What city do you live in?

I live in Domesti City. :P (ok so yeah, not that funny - still not getting a whole lot of sleep!)

Rain. I hear that the average rainfall in Tirana is twice as much in November as in October. Yikes. We're going to have to get creative here! I'm thinking it could be a good time to start potty training if we're going to be stuck at home a lot anyway... I think that overall Valerie feels pretty well settled here, although she does have her moments. The other day she was looking at a photo slideshow on our computer and all of a sudden she jumped off the chair just sobbing. I was on the couch nursing Gabriel, but when I looked up I realized she'd just seen a series of 5-6 photos of the inside of our house in Harrisonburg, that we'd taken to show potential renters. It just broke my heart that she was so sad! I held her on my lap for a few minutes and then she was fine. But I went back and hid those pictures anyway.

Today on our walk we went into a pet store where she really enjoyed seeing and hearing the birds, and looking at bunnies, mice, cats, and dogs. To American eyes it looks a little inhumane, I guess, all the puppies in cages lining the walls, but they do seem pretty pampered once they're bought. They go out on walks and run around leash-free at the park and I've seen some with little sweaters on too.

Someone Terry works with loaned us a pack-n-play and a baby bath tub which I hope will make our lives a little easier in the next few months. Valerie still hates, hates, hates taking a bath. It's been a little awkward bathing Gabriel in the sink. I hope this will work out better for both of them.

Last week I went to the local Botanical Gardens with a group of expat mothers of young children who get together there every Thursday morning. It was nice, although we did get rained on. Shpresa came along and knew one of the women, a missionary who attends the same church, so that was cool. The gardens are expansive and beautiful; the kids enjoyed climbing trees, running around, and sharing snacks.

I was encouraged this morning when Valerie played catch for a minute with another little girl at the playground! Then she was ready to go. But it was nice to see her engage with another kid (one we see pretty much every day that we go).

It's pouring rain right now so we're skipping our evening walk to meet Terry at his office. Valerie is watching Elmo so I stole a minute to write this post. I'm not sure how to wrap it up now - no bon mots - just a little slice of our life in Tirana.

Urdhero Brenda

This is the entrance to our building. There is no Americans with Disabilities Act here; you can see why it can be a bit of a production getting in and out of the building with a stroller, toddler, and infant. I have relied much on the kindness of strangers to navigate these stairs.
Behind Terry is the door to the elevator. Valerie insists on wearing this hat and sunglasses combo whenever we go out - we think she's trying to avoid the paparazzi...
Inside the elevator which Valerie, inexplicably, refers to with great enthusiasm as "Akyu."
The door to our apartment - urdhero brenda! ("come in" in Albanian)

One Month

It's been a whole month since we said goodbye to Harrisonburg and hello to Tirana. It still feels like we just got here!

Things I miss, in no particular order:

• knowing where to buy the things I need/want, knowing how to get there, and knowing whether the price is reasonable or not.
• being able to understand what people are saying
• RECYCLING
• Valerie and Gabriel's grandparents (all 4 of you!)
• Mr. J's
• dinners with WSK and his parents
• my yarn
• all my books!!!

Things I really like about Tirana:

• seeing the sun set over the river
• the view from our apartment (seriously, if you could see what I'm seeing right now...)
• the kindness of strangers who help us navigate the stroller up and down stairs
• the language - even though I don't understand it yet, I'm learning, and it's really really fun.
• Shpresa
• Valerie sleeping through the night and taking regular, consistent naps
• beginning to lose the baby weight with all the walking around carrying G.

More later - I think G is waking up - got to run!

Change

When I lived in Cochabamba, I became aware of a class of older gentlemen whom I thought of as the "Latin gentlemen." They would pace through the plazas with their hands clasped behind their backs, wearing suits and fedoras, getting their shoes shined by scruffy urchins, invariable courteous and able to quote Aristotle at the drop of a hat.

I've noticed a similar type of gentleman here, about the same age and affect, although I wouldn't know about the courtesy or Aristotle since I can't talk with them. Last Sunday when we walked to church I saw lots of them congregated in one little plaza gathered around tables playing dominos. I wonder about all the changes they've seen in Tirana over the years, and I wonder what they think about it all - the end of communism in 1992, the financial collapse in 1997 - I doubt they're old enough to remember the German occupation, so for most of their lives Enver Hoxha would have been in power.

I also wonder what they think of us wandering around Tirana with our SUV stroller and Baby Bjorn - probably very little, come to that :-)

Four weeks since we left the US

Cribbed from an e-mail to my folks:

Terry has gone to Kosovo overnight for an event there honoring Mother Teresa. It's the anniversary of her beatification and a national holiday in Albania. Anyway, the president of Kosovo wanted to recognize World Vision (their Kosovo program is administered under WV Albania) as part of the event but the WV director wasn't able to go, so he asked Terry to go instead as an interchangeable foreigner :-) Terry even bought a suit in the local market here because he didn't bring any suits from the US... (Rosanne and Vern are now looking smug...)! The funny thing is that the president of Kosovo recently resigned so a stand-in for him is going to be presenting the award as well :-) Terry will be back tomorrow.

I asked Shpresa to come over this afternoon just so it wouldn't be such a long day without Terry home in the evening. She is such a big help. Yesterday she did a lot of cleaning so this afternoon I just asked her to help me study Albanian. Valerie even let Shpresa feed her some yoghurt so that was encouraging too. I felt kind of bad after I realized that I'd asked her to work on a holiday, but she seemed happy to come.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to meet a friend of a friend who lives in Tirana, we'll see if it all works out. Thursday I'm supposed to meet Terry's boss's wife who is Swiss, to go to the Botanical gardens. Friday I have no social plans.

Oh, and we discovered that we have earwigs in the apartment. Not a huge problem but they are really ugly! We didn't know what they were and a little internet research helped us identify them. I googled "common household pests" and looked around til I saw a picture that matched the bugs we have. So that's what an earwig is, I always wondered.

Sleep Sagas

You know it wouldn't be a Phantzi blog without ongoing sleep drama.

First the good news:

• For the most part, once over jet lag Valerie has been sleeping through the night since we got here.
• She's been going down for naps really well for me, too (again with the occasional exception) - between 12:30 and 1, I'll tell her it's time for her nap. She'll say "A" (which is Valerese for "nap," because we traditionally sing the ABCs as a lullaby) and point to her room. We go in, I change her diaper, she gets into bed and pulls a little blankie over her lap. I give her a book, tell her "read your book and then lie down for your nap" and within half an hour (sometimes almost instantly) she's asleep.

I can't tell you how miraculous these two items feel to me.

On the flip side, unfortunately, she's regressed a bit in two areas:

• She often fights going to bed - not the bedtime routine itself, but the end of the routine, where she's supposed to go to sleep. She usually wants one of us to stay with her until she's, if not actually asleep, then very close to it. I can understand this as she's still adjusting to this new environment, and the turning of day into night can feel like a very vulnerable time. So we're going along with it for now.
• She's been waking up waaaay too early, at least according to us - this morning it was before 6 a.m. - not sure what's waking her up - street noise? cold? - but boy would we love to sleep in a little longer. Of course, this probably contributes directly to the ease of naptime which I'm not really willing to give up either!

Then there's sweet Gabriel.

• Although he was the first to adjust to the time zone change, he soon after started this new thing where he gets really, really fussy just before he goes to sleep, both bedtime and naptime, but bedtime is worse.
• The only thing that calms him is vigorous rocking in my arms, for at least 20 minutes.
• I mean vigorous - I always have to stretch out my arms, legs, and back afterwards!
• I keep trying to lay him down still awake so he can learn to go to sleep on his own, but even if he's calm in my arms, the second his bottom touches his bed he starts screeching instantly.
• So I pick him up again.
• Finally he falls asleep basically in my arms.
• I don't feel like CIO is an option because sound carries so much in this apartment, I think it would really upset Valerie.

And then there's the night waking. Most of the time, he sleeps 4-5 hours straight at first, then wakes up to nurse. After that it's anybody's guess - every 2 hours, every hour, or more - and he seems gassy and uncomfortable. Two nights ago he went down at 9, woke up at 11, and then 1, and then every hour until the sun came up. I was beyond exhausted that day.

So I've cut out a bunch of stuff from my diet again - most sadly the Nutella and olives, but also eggs, onions, and anything gassy like broccoli or beans - I've been off dairy pretty much since he was born - and last night (24 hours after the purge) he slept 6.5 hours straight! And then 3 more! Heavenly! I also started using the gas drops (simethicone) again just for kicks.

Another change we made is where I put him down. I've been putting him to sleep in his bucket carseat in our room because it's dark and quiet at bedtime, but it seemed like he'd get restless when Terry and I came to bed an hour or two later, so then I'd move him into the stroller set up in reclining mode the living room - also so Terry wouldn't be disturbed by his noise. Last night I put Gabe to sleep directly in the stroller. Maybe that helped. It would be nice if he had his own room, but alas this is a 2-br apartment and I'm so not enthused by the idea of moving again...

And then there's naps... thankfully he goes down for naps a lot easier than for the night. They're just short. He takes a long nap in the Bjorn when we're out for our morning walk, but otherwise his naps are usually less than an hour. I suspect it's because he hasn't learned to put himself back to sleep, since he often seems to still be tired and grumpy when he wakes up. When Valerie was this age, I would nurse her down to sleep on our bed and then when she stirred and seemed to be waking up, I'd go back in and nurse her to sleep again, usually twice within a single long nap. Because of Gabriel's tendency to swallow a lot of air while nursing, I don't have this option with him (and in the long term it was not such a great practice with Valerie either). So I'm not sure what to do about lengthening his naps.

One of my biggest triage challenges - and this is where I hope Shpressa will be able to help me - is keeping Valerie happy while I'm putting Gabriel down in the other room - so this is mostly when I bring out the DVD player. Gabe is so good with other people, I'm hoping she can put him down while I stay with Valerie. Ne do te shohim (we shall see).