and now, some knit pics

I originally knit this sweater to sell as part of the "Solana Sweaters" campaign, but this one never sold. It was my first top-down raglan. I LOVE that it basically knits all in one piece, with no seams to sew! I think the only sewing was to put on the buttons.

It was my own design, although the lace pattern is from this book of folk shawls, this one was supposed to be Japanese I think. The yarn was "found yarn" from a yard sale.
I love it on Valerie, I don't think I can part with it now!

as promised: camping pics!

Here we are in front of our tent; Valerie is in the Ella Roo wrap. The bassinet from Vince and Heather was GREAT!
Often we put the Lambie inside it, but it was too hot this day.
Look how big she is!!!
And here is our set-up inside the tent.
We also did some hiking, a lot of eating, talking, and laughing, and there were a bunch of other people there - but I don't have permission to post their pictures on the internet so you'll just have to imagine that we were part of a big group :-)

I think it's safe to say a good time was had by all; I enjoyed it immensely (except for the sleep deficit) and found it very relaxing. Maybe that had something to do with having the cell phone turned off the whole time...

Quick Update

I feel like all I did today was sleep... thanks to Terry and the grandparents! I was still catching up after our camping trip this weekend, which will be another post once I get photos downloaded. It went really well and I wanted to stay longer, but I guess I didn't actually sleep much or very well on the ground. Valerie slept great though!

So we are settling into our new routine here, re-organizing the house little by little, coping with the summer heat in our non-A/C house. Here is how our days go (more or less):

6:30 Valerie wakes up to nurse (this is pretty much a constant)
7:00-ish I go for a half-hour walk around the neighborhood and buy paper. Sometimes I take V., sometimes I leave her with Terry, depending on how awake they both are.
8:00-ish breakfast. Then I spend the morning at home with V., doing small tasks around the house when she naps. This is my taste of being stay-at-home mom! I enjoy it a lot but by the afternoon I'm ready to get out and about.
noon-ish: lunch
Sometime between 2 and 6 p.m. we go to Grandma's* house for a few hours to check e-mail, nap, hopefully do some of my academic work that I'm behind on...
Sometime after 6 p.m. we forage for dinner, then possibly go shopping in the evening before going to bed. It seems that V. gets her bath (when she gets one) pretty late, rarely before 10 p.m., sometimes as late as midnight...
She usually falls asleep for the night sometime between 11:30 and 1:00 a.m.
So I guess that's why I need the naps!

Promises, promises: pictures coming soon!!!

*Both her Grandmas are referred to as Grandma, so we'll have either Virginia Grandma and Peru Grandma or Grandma Dot and Grandma Irma, or Grandma Jantzi and Grandma Phelps - but for now it's just the undifferentiated kin category, Grandma.

question

So what is known about uterine fibroids? I completely forgot until a conversation I had yesterday that the Docs found a big one at the top of my uterus when they delivered Valerie. I'm not sure what the implications are. Anyone know? (I do plan to ask the Doc about this the next time I see him).

solipsism

I heard that some people were claiming that there are no pictures of me on this blog, so here you go :-)

Bjorn Identity

Friday looked like rain, but when the sun came out we decided to head downtown and check out the Ithaca Festival. Terry was keen to get me out into the world for a "mommy walk" (beyond the 20 lbs. I shed with her birth, I've only managed to lose 2 more in 5 weeks) and I was keen to check out some of the shops on the Commons. So off we went.

It was fun, although we got tired, and I ended up nursing her outside a sports bar, which felt a little awkward, so we headed home. And it started to rain... we had one umbrella between the three/four of us (my mom was along too), so the Baby Bjorn wearing person naturally got to take advantage of the shelter - finally we ducked into a library on campus to wait out the rain.

While lounging around there, little V. got hungry - so I went up to a conference room I know about on the 4th floor for some privacy. We were there all peaceful and nice, when suddenly she paused, froze, opened her eyes, and next thing I knew there was a warm wet patch spreading across my lap...

...and then the buzzer rang (LOUD!) for library closing in 30 minutes, and I looked outside and saw that it had started to hail...

I called Terry and he came up with the backpack we use as a diaper bag, which also packs spare T-shirts for both of us (but not pants). She had also pooped out the back of her diaper so a major clean-up was executed on the conference room floor... Fortunately, my shirt was long enough to cover the dampness on my pants...

It felt really good to get home into warm, dry clothes. Val and I both fell asleep and didn't wake up for another 3 hours!

Oh - note cute hat knit by a woman from our church! Thanks, KMS!

Stats

Length: 21 inches (56th percentile)
Weight: 7 lbs, 12 oz. (12th percentile)
Head circ: 14.5 inches (50th percentile)

She's growing! At her first appointment, she was in the 2nd percentile for weight...

We all put in our guesses ahead of time for what her weight would be:
Me: 7 lbs 5 oz
Terry: 8 lbs 1 oz
Mom (mine): 3.5 kilos
Dad (mine): 7 lbs 8 oz
Anita: 7 lbs 11 oz

So even though my mom was spot-on, and Anita next closest, Terry was still closer than me!

One month old!

Happy one-month, little V!

Tonight Terry was holding her and kept bursting into laughter, because her one hand kept finding its way into his armpit and tickling him.

Happy Father's Day!

her "real" birthday

Terry decided that June 5 was Valerie's "real" birthday, given that it was her "official" due date (according to the clinic; I always had it as June 3 but what do I know), so in honor of her being 3 weeks in this world we gave her a sponge bath! She didn't mind it much, up until the end. Here she is in all her glory! Every day she seems plumper and I could not be more pleased!

oh yes

... the swelling in my hands has finally gone down enough that I can wear my wedding ring again!!!

little by little

Every day I'm able to do a little more. Yesterday I even cleaned the bathroom... of course, it took me like 3 hours because of all the self-interruptions!

I can almost watch Valerie growing before my eyes - like the Incredible Hulk, only not green. And much prettier! Her cord stump fell off yesterday so she can now start looking forward to her first bath!

She's also spending more time in "quiet alert" mode - unfortunately at very odd hours sometimes. But it is delicious.

So I realized that this is purportedly a knitting blog, but I never posted a picture of the one thing I knitted for her that she wears every day, this little hat:
The funny thing is that I didn't know at the time whether or not it was for her - I was working with pink yarn, and had a bunch left over, and then my sister found this pattern and so for lack of anything better to do while on bedrest (oh yeah - except grade papers) I made this hat. I thought that if we had a boy I could donate it to the hospital or something. Anyway, it fits her just perfectly.

6 lbs. 1 oz!!!

We took Valerie in for her 2-week pediatric appointment today, and she has gained 11 oz. in the past week!! I am thrilled - I thought she looked bigger, but never thought it would be by that much! Two nights ago she hit a new level of HUNGRY - nursing at 10 p.m., 11, 12, and 1 a.m. and then again at 3 a.m. Then she let us sleep until 7.

Leave it to the Phantzis, though, to find a way to have a newborn and still stay in bed until noon... we have these great dark curtains that my sister put up for us, so after breakfast at around 7 Valerie and I just go back to bed...

(I know this picture is sideways)

at home

So we are home with little Valerie, safe and sound - here she is in "newborn" sized-diapers relaxing on the lambskin that was a gift from Wendy and Dave (we've switched to preemie size for now). Eats, sleeps, and poops! I am getting better by increments every day; the latest achievement is being able to get in and out of bed unassisted! Also, an increase in my blood pressure medication and going off the pain meds altogether has resulted in much better blood pressure readings - FINALLY! It will probably take from 6-12 weeks to get back to some semblance of normalcy, but for now I'll take what I can get. And now to bed, for anywhere from 1.5 to 4 hours until she's hungry again...

Please welcome...

Valerie Lynn Phelps Jantzi

Born by cesarean at approximately 9 a.m. on May 15, 2008
5 lbs. 10 oz., 18 inches long
Current status: sleeping!

Coming down the pike

1 day, 13 hours, and 45 minutes left until the OR.

How strange is that?

Terry and I had a long talk with the Doc last night, who is unwilling to let us postpone the cesarean (in hopes of the baby turning) or go to acupuncture (which is supposed to help turn baby) because of another high BP spike on Sunday morning (157/114). She just doesn't feel like the potential risks are worth the potential benefits.

So tomorrow we start the paperwork and other processing.

I feel like I have dealt with most of my fears, except perhaps the fear that we're making a big mistake by not just walking out of the hospital and insisting on doing this on our own terms, without major surgery. I feel like the baby is happy and doing well where s/he is, so why take him/her out right now?

On the other hand, I've read enough blogs to know that the potential risks are very real; babies and mothers have died as a result of pre-eclampsia. Even though I don't have pre-e now, it's such an unpredictable condition.

So it seems like erring on the "safe side" means giving myself up to the knife.

I can't imagine what it's going to be like to finally meet our baby.

News Flash: Grading Raises Blood Pressure!

I don't know if it's the sitting up, or the actual act of grading, but as the final round of term papers come in I'm trying to figure out how to get my work done while keeping BP low(er). Yesterday morning I sat up for two hours entering grades and downloading papers; by noon BP was 164/111. So after lunch I just lay in bed watching TV, and by 4 p.m. we were down to 128/84.

It probably makes a difference who is taking the BP, and which cuff they use, and even which arm... but I do see a pattern in higher BPs after grading sessions. So my plan is to limit myself to 45 minutes at a shot and take long breaks in between. Thanks goodness for ANTM marathons on the tube.

****
Last night Terry and I went downstairs to the cafeteria for a "date night" - we also took a turn around the gardens (they make me take a wheelchair). After dinner we came back upstairs and watched a movie on my laptop. It was fun :-)

Midweek

Tuesday was not a good day. High BPs, tired, just lay around all day with a headache.

Wednesday was a very good day. Had a visit from a family friend who prayed for me, another visit from a pal who brought flowers, lower BPs, felt much better.

Thursday was another good day. Lower BPs again, Terry brought me a mini carrot-cake (he had to one-up the flowers!), got to watch "Survivor."

Hoping for another good day tomorrow.

Solana-isms

Pointing at a child-sized hospital bed with metal bars that can be raised or lowered on all sides: "Who is that cage for?"

Long Day

Today felt like a long day. The usual rounds of monitoring and so forth were mostly all good news; BP still not where I'd like it to be though. Around mid-morning, the doctor popped in and announced that she's scheduling me for a c-section on May 15, then popped out again. I was slightly stunned, but also excited, and also disappointed, not sure what to feel really. I like to have a Plan. I like knowing what's going to happen next. Uncertainty makes me anxious. But at the same time, it did seem so final.

I called Terry; he had a lot of questions but the doc had already left to do other things.

After lunch Anita, Solana and I went out to the hospital gardens to relax in the dappled sunshine. Solana had fun running around the garden paths collecting dandelions for us while we talked and I let my hair dry in the sun. She declared herself a "baby tree climber" (some species of animal that eats leaves) and threw leaves into the little creek running through the garden. We colored and relaxed and watched ants collecting the crumbs from Solana's chips.

At about 4:00, Terry and I met with our doula to catch up on everything that's happened since my hospitalization. While we were talking, the doc came by again and was able to give us the whole run-down on their thinking, based on the measurements and monitoring they've been doing. Much better than just having me try to repeat all her explanations.

The bottom line is that there is still a gray area within which the cesarean might not happen: my BP would have to stay below 140/90 for a good long time, and the baby would have to decide to flip. The reason for scheduling the c-section is to reserve that time slot - it's easier to cancel one than it is to squeeze one in.

So, just taking it one day at a time. All that thinking though pretty much tired me out. And then I finally finished grading the current set of papers from the class I teach. Their re-writes are due next week; I told them that the original due date of May 13 still applies, but if they want to be certain that I grade them and not somebody else, then they need to get them in by May 9th. So it's a pretty short reprieve right now!

no news is good news

I'll post pictures soon, but wanted to post a quick update: no change.

I'm much more at peace with the situation now, however, and was so happy to be allowed to go to a shower that my friends here organized for me on Saturday. It was great having Anita there, as well as my aunt Cathie (who of course gave us books! My favorite thing!)

This afternoon Terry took me out for a spin in the hospital gardens since it was sunny and beautiful out.

Baby continues to look good in all the monitoring.